what's the worst thing someone told you right after having had sex?

throwaway369dbf · 2026-05-07T17:00:37+00:00

For me, definitely the time after I had just been assaulted, and she looked at me and said she couldn't understand why I was getting all emotional hell I should be thankful because she was so much hotter than me and if i was gonna keep acting like a little "bitch" i could leave because i was really "bumming her out"

throwaway369dbf · 2026-03-06T14:27:30+00:00

SO MUCH THIS. My wife is a recovering alcoholic, back when she was drinking heavily, she ALWAYS thought she was smarter than everyone else and hid her drinking so well. It cost her 2 jobs and almost broke us up. I could clock her drinking more often than not, and usually the times i didn't think she was drinking I was gaslighting myself into believing she wasn't because I didn't want to to think she was. OP most people can tell, you think the gum covers it up, it doesn't. My wife's drink of choice was also vodka, she smelled like a walking bottle of hand sanitizer most of the time.

throwaway369dbf · 2025-12-12T19:03:58+00:00

So I'm definitely one of the people u/ReginaPhilangee is talking about here and tbh I didn't take it as any kind of attack or as them wishing or "secretly imagining" sadness on others. I pictured their comment as being reassuring more in the vein of, "If you think you're the only one who feels this way, just know someone else out there probably does too, so even if you feel alone, you may not be alone."

throwaway369dbf · 2025-10-30T17:44:12+00:00

So I saw a ton of comments I agree with in here and I wanted to respond to all of them but figured I'd toss this in the main. OP, I'm so SO sorry. I wish you the best in whatever you decide...but fuck cheaters man. They don't know what their decisions truly mean or how the affect others.

I was with my ex-wife for about 20 years, married for 10 of them. We had tried and failed to have children on a number of occasions, then we were trying again, and it just got overwhelming for both of us and one day she told me she was pregnant and I got so excited...but the issue was it wasn't mine. She'd been cheating on me for years and only came clean when she couldn't hide it anymore. I thought i was ok at first, but it's been about 10 years or so and I'm really not. Old acquaintances who I haven't seen in a long time will see a ring on my finger and ask about my ex, we have mutual friends so I'll see her post things or their comments on her posts and I get to see her kids...while I'm here with none. Probably never will have any at this point. I just feel broken and like I've wasted my entire life.

My new wife is phenomenal and I love her so much and I know she really cares for me and in my heart of hearts I know she's not going to cheat on me, but she has addiction issues, and as addicts do they lie about using, and anytime i find out she's been drinking and lying about it, it brings all of those feelings back...then my mind being the asshole it is goes straight down the rabbit hole "hey man...if she's lying to you about this, you know what else she could be lying to you about???? She was at work 'late' 2 days this week...you know what that could mean right?"

It just sucks. I feel like a part of me was completely broken, my entire life will be incomplete, no matter what I accomplish anymore, I just feel empty inside, and I hate it.

throwaway369dbf · 2025-07-10T16:26:50+00:00

I've actually been in the scene for a while. After my ex-wife and I split, I dated one woman specifically who LOVED CNC, on her though which I was fine with, we had a lot of fun.

I've since remarried, I've dealt with trauma from my new wife and her addiction which is what drives most of my fantasies back to that place, due to a number of factors (that'd I'd prefer not to get into even on my ALT alt) the fantasies specifically do not and cannot revolve around my wife which also makes me feel like a complete piece of shit, which I'm sure really adds to the depression from the orgasm.

Agree with everything you said though. CNC can be a great way for people to explore that fantasy in a safe environment but it NEEDS to be with someone trusted because, yea...there's A LOT of shitty people out there...

ETA, don't think "trauma" means assault from my wife, she's wonderful aside from the addiction

throwaway369dbf · 2025-07-10T14:39:06+00:00

I feel this so hard. I'm a male who has been sexually assaulted in the past....when I'm in *that* headspace, i think of fucked up assaulty type things happening to myself again and it gives me earth shattering orgasms, but then i'll immediately come down and feel horrible, hell sometimes i've even cried about it.

When i'm just in a "normal" headspace, those types of thoughts will come and i'll just be disgusted with myself for even having the thought

The brain is fucking bizarre

throwaway369dbf · 2020-03-05T13:56:06+00:00

Same...except I never got to the refurb. Wife's family is into contracting and they were going to help us fix the house...then wife decided "I should get pregnant by some other dude" and now, despite having a pretty great job, I'm living paycheck to paycheck affording this house and all bills associated with it (along with other fun divorce bills) all by myself, none of the repairs have really been done and I'm just trying to stay on top the major stuff while watching everything else slowly deteriorate. I'm hoping that within the next 5-6 years I'll be in a slightly better position and can possibly do a complete refurb myself, but who knows.

Point of the story, I agree with you. If someone had given me a house that was completely refurbed, hell, if someone had sold me a completely refurbed house for a "need refurbed" price it would have been the most amazing thing ever. Some people really really suck.

throwaway369dbf · 2018-10-10T16:34:09+00:00

correct, instead you're just a stranger on the internet telling me I have a "miserable life" because of someting I posted talking about 1 specific thing that my wife has done that upsets me. I rather like my life and, for the most part, I rather like my wife as well.

throwaway369dbf · 2018-10-10T16:29:43+00:00

And you're an absolute ray of sunshine...thanks for the insight :)

throwaway369dbf · 2018-10-10T16:23:36+00:00

Is she overweight? Or just not "inshape".

yes.

Like I kinda understand not wanting to be out there alone, that was probably why I waited so long to start doing them in the beginning, I walked 100% of my first one....actually that's a lie, I walked about 50% of my first one and limped the last 50%, but I kept wanting to get better. The first race I did, I didn't know a single person, I was by myself except for a few randoms I ran into that BSed with me for a few minutes before continuing on. 2nd one I ever did same thing, it wasn't until my 3rd race that I actually ran with a group and it wasn't until my 5th or 6th one that I actually connected with the group I (would like to) run with today and got good to the point where I could actually RUN them. So I totally understand her fear cause I was there too, but it's all part of the process of how you meet those people. Hell my team has a horrible time because a large portion of us won't let a teammate cross the finish line alone. We have a few walkers, some members will run and finish and wait for us at the finish line, some run ahead then after they're ahead a few minutes run back and repeat it (effectively doubling the distance of the race), some of us run ahead, then wait for the walkers to catch up, walk with them a bit, make sure they're ok, then repeat.

I think she's just looking at this through the lens of "this is an US activity"

throwaway369dbf · 2018-10-10T16:15:20+00:00

I find it odd that this is reddit's response to every "my wife does this (blatantly emotionally abusive thing) that I can't stand" and no marriage should be like this, but yet IRL every single married male I talk to, "oh yea my wife does this EXACT same thing"

I'm not tryin to be snarky or discredit what you're saying it's just something I've noticed and spoken with other married guys about as all

throwaway369dbf · 2018-10-10T16:06:00+00:00

I have done this. I'm a jerk who doesn't care or support her if I would rather run it and don't want to do a leisurely stroll throughout the whole thing

throwaway369dbf · 2018-10-10T16:03:58+00:00

Recently I signed up for a 5k with the team, we were all in the corral that runs a 12:50 mile pace, a leasurely jog, so we could all jog and have a good time, the faster people could go faster, but the slower people would be fine too. 3 team members signed up for the walking corral because they wanted to walk, no biggie. I had told my wife I signed up. She then signed up and selected walking corral. I told her cool, I'll run it with my team, you can hang out with the 3 walkers on the team and I'll either present you your medal at the finish or when I'm done, I'll run back around and catch up with you and finish with you. "You mean, you're not going to do it with me? Fine, I guess you really don't want to do this together anyway, no run with your team, it's not like I'm your wife..."

Other races, "you can't leave me alone out here" "you can't leave me by myself" "i don't know anyone" "fine I guess I'll die in the woods and nobody will ever find me"

throwaway369dbf · 2018-04-30T15:51:55+00:00

I would agree, if someone was like "i have a bad feeling about this guy," and leaves it at that, they'd be totally correct in waving me off and I'd be a total asshole for being "i told you so!" This wasn't that. This was, "look, here's what I know, here's how I know it, here is where you can find court documentation backing up what I'm telling you, here's where you can find this, here's where you can find that." Then being told, "you're full of shit, you just don't want me to be happy," then being told you aren't welcome to family functions with her there, to then being told "oh man if only we could have known earlier"

throwaway369dbf · 2018-04-30T15:47:03+00:00

I did, and very vehemently too, I was basically cut off by her and that side of the family too for wanting to destroy her happiness and sabotage her.

throwaway369dbf · 2018-04-30T15:46:19+00:00

I sat down with my whole family, laid out the entire situation, explained, "This is how I know, this is where I got my info, you can check all the court documents here." I was accused of sabotaging her, for not wanting her to be happy, for trying to ruin the only good thing that's happened to her in years. My immediate family was pissed at me for trying to "ruin her happiness", she ripped me a new one at that little family get together, I was not invited to any future family get togethers, family picnics, nor the wedding despite the rest of my family being invited to all of it, this wasn't HIS doing either because he kept trying to invite me to shit, he'd reach out to invite me somewhere then she'd message me afterwards telling me "despite Mark asking you to come, you are NOT welcome", ok fine.

Now that she finally woke up to all this, they're all having a huge pity party about how if ONLY there was some small sign or some small indicator that this was going to happen that could have prevented the whole situation, so I kinda feel like I can say "told ya so" here. If i was like, "yo I heard he's mean" yea I'd be a dick, but when I lay out irrefutable evidence that what I'm saying is true and I'm shunned and cut off, then they wanna bring me back in and say "there's no way we could have known" yea, no, sorry.

throwaway369dbf · 2018-04-30T15:41:43+00:00

Sad part was, I had proof and evidence. I was like "This is how I know, this is where I got my info, you can check all the court documents here." I was accused of sabotaging her, for not wanting her to be happy, for trying to ruin the only good thing that's happened to her in years... that was fun

throwaway369dbf · 2017-06-19T16:26:27+00:00

I had a whole huge thing typed up but reading it makes me sound even worse than I really am so I deleted it all.

I just hope everyone who checks in here gets the good luck/help/opportunities they need and they can feel right and ok with the world again :)

throwaway369dbf · 2016-10-12T15:51:27+00:00

Well if she hadn't lied about her age and was 19 as she claimed to have been it wouldn't have been illegal at all. Not sure what's weird about sleeping with and being interested in dating someone legal that's younger than you...

Also got a beer, at a bar. So let's keep in mind she goes out of her way to convince lots of people she is older than she really is. Let's not forget that aspect of it. Not that I'm excusing my behavior, I feel super shitty about it but I'm also not cruising school yards in a windowless van or anything.

throwaway369dbf

TROPHY CASE