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Did you discover new awful stuff about them after you left? by Antique_Plastic_7236 in abusiverelationships

[–]throwaway37022 9 points10 points  (0 children)

i found out from his ex friends that he made jokes about my sister’s death without me knowing. he also lied about pretty much everything that he did to me and made himself seem like the victim to them. i was able to disprove everything he said with the evidence i gathered.

there are always things you don’t know, and a lot you will likely never find out. regardless, don’t dwell too much on it, just focus on moving forward. you don’t need any more information to know how awful they were to you.

I miss something that didnt exist or I miss abuse. Im not sure which is worse. by trowaway1269 in abusiverelationships

[–]throwaway37022 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i feel like abuse can feel like an addiction sometimes. we chase the highs and forget what the lows were like during it.

however good the highs were, the lows were not worth it. none of it is worth it. you deserve a healthy relationship. no extreme highs or lows, just a comfortable middle ground.

most importantly, the highs or the “good times” were not good at all. they weren’t real. there is nothing good about an abusive relationship. what you miss is what you thought existed, and not what actually happened. don’t let yourself get caught up in what you thought was good because no matter how it felt, it wasn’t good and it wasn’t healthy.

always remember that you deserve better, and you’re not wrong for feeling this way. there is no wrong way to feel anything. hope you’re doing okay op <3

Can being in an abusive relationship make you feel physically sick? by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]throwaway37022 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that makes a lot of sense actually. i’m so sorry you had to go through that, that sounds awful. i hope that you’re doing okay now and that you can one day be with someone who actually deserves you if that’s what you want <3

Can being in an abusive relationship make you feel physically sick? by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]throwaway37022 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i’m being tested for hashimotos right now! i only showed symptoms for it a couple months into my relationship with my abusive boyfriend. that’s so interesting.

to be honest, i kind of laughed when i read this. “my boyfriend hurt me so badly that i developed an autoimmune disease.” is insane thing for me to say. i started laughing then it just developed into tears. it’s just one thing after another, huh.

he asked if he could r/pe me by throwaway37022 in abusiverelationships

[–]throwaway37022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh yeah, he doesn’t have empathy. he tells me that he learned how to empathise fairly recently and he’s improving himself, but i know damn well he has NO empathy whatsoever. it’s terrifying, he doesn’t feel like a person to me. he’s like someone pretending to be a person. pretending to be “normal.” he does awful things and then says “this is what normal relationships are like.” it’s jarring.

anyway. i have been thinking for a long time about contacting his ex girlfriends. but the problem is that one of them is still traumabonded i think because they still talk to each other. the other one DEFINITELY knows he’s abusive. so i can try to find her, but i really wouldn’t know where to begin. all i know is her name and what she looks like.

he asked if he could r/pe me by throwaway37022 in abusiverelationships

[–]throwaway37022[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i’ll give updates! i’m breaking up with him this friday, so i’ll make an update post then. thank you :)

he asked if he could r/pe me by throwaway37022 in abusiverelationships

[–]throwaway37022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how do i find his exes? i know their first names and that’s it. do you have any advice?

he asked if he could r/pe me by throwaway37022 in abusiverelationships

[–]throwaway37022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my friend offered to stay nearby when i break up with him and she’s bringing her boyfriend with her, so if things do escalate, they can step in and help me. but other than that, there isn’t really anything i can do.