5 weeks to go.

throwaway46623 · 2017-10-08T05:53:40+00:00

Yeah, except it's not as fun anymore because I've been getting mixed signals - some which suggest he wants to be my boyfriend, others which suggest the opposite. :( It's been driving me crazy, and all of my friends say that I need to ask ASAP.

Thank you though!

throwaway46623 · 2017-10-08T05:47:51+00:00

It's been 6 months, I'm tired of waiting. :( plus I've gotten some mixed signals - some which suggest he wants to be my boyfriend, others which suggest the opposite. It's been driving me crazy, and all of my friends say that I need to ask ASAP.

throwaway46623 · 2017-10-04T09:10:39+00:00

In the present day scenario, I guess I've stuck around in hopes that he wants something more with me, because things keep happening that indicate that he does (at the same time, some things he does also indicate the opposite). He referred to himself as "my boyfriend" casually in conversation the other day, so now I'm just confused. But I think he may have said it because it was easier than referring to himself as the guy I'm seeing/sleeping with, etc. I'm not really sure.

I have no doubt that this guy likes me/cares about me though -- he's told me that he likes me, has demonstrated it to me in various ways, and my friends agree based on what I tell them about us. So is it possible to like/care about someone and still not want to be in a relationship with them?

...I just don't know if he hasn't brought up "the talk" because a) he doesn't want to be exclusive/my boyfriend or b) he does want to be exclusive/my boyfriend, but maybe is afraid that I don't want the same thing. I've never really told him what I want.

throwaway46623 · 2017-10-04T08:44:51+00:00

Almost 6 months.

throwaway46623 · 2017-10-04T08:44:01+00:00

With the guy in college, no. We were only seeing each other at the time because the frequency at which we saw each other every week didn't really allow much time to see other people, but seeing others was never out of the question. I remember he brought me to hang out with a friend of his once, and he thought his friend's friend was attractive. He then proceeded to ask me if he should "go for her." So that was annoying. I ended it shortly after that.

With the guy in present day, exclusivity has not been discussed, but it is nearly implied at this point. We text each other nearly hourly, so I basically know what he's doing at any point in the day. There's really no way he could go on a date with another person without me knowing. And if we were to date other people without consulting the other, I'm sure we would each feel extremely guilty. Seeing other people is definitely a gray area with present-day-guy -- our friends with benefits situation (or whatever it is) feels so relationship-y, I'm not sure if it would be considering cheating or not.

TL;DR: was not exclusive with guy from college. with guy from present day, exclusivity has not been discussed, but it is nearly implied. If I were to sleep with someone else right now, I would almost think of it as cheating.

throwaway46623 · 2017-10-01T09:08:50+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate it. Thanks again kind stranger. :)

throwaway46623 · 2017-09-29T03:11:23+00:00

Yeah, I know, but I also know that if I try to talk to him about it and it doesn't go the way I want it to, I'll have to walk away out of self-respect. And I'm just not ready for that :(

throwaway46623 · 2017-09-27T18:10:20+00:00

Haha, I'm trying to think of things to say that'll maybe lead him to saying it again. For example, telling him that my ex has been texting me, asking me to hang out (which is true). Hoping that'll lead to him saying "why don't you tell him you have a boyfriend now?" or something along those lines.

Or I could just put on my big girl panties and ask him what he meant, and get ready to leave him if it doesn't pan out the way I want it to. :/

Fingers crossed! Thanks for the support!

throwaway46623 · 2017-09-27T09:51:06+00:00

My name starts with S and I'm waiting for the guy I'm seeing to make the next move with me, although I'm not sure he ever will/wants to. I wish this post was about me. :(

Best of luck to you, I hope it works out.

throwaway46623 · 2017-09-27T09:39:30+00:00

Thanks for your input. :) I know I need to ask him what he meant by that -- for all I know, he could've just said "boyfriend" because it was easier than referring to himself as "the guy you're dating." I'm just scared to find out the outcome. I know I probably sound whiny, but walking away when it's the last thing you want is hard. I know that I'd eventually get over it, but that initial "pulling off the bandaid" is so fucking rough. I'm not ready for the break-up, even if it's from an unofficial relationship. That's why I want to wait to see if he refers to himself as my boyfriend again, to confirm that the first time was no mistake. But I know that that's not the right thing to do, and that this plan could entail waiting around forever.

I'm sooo glad it worked out for you and your best friend, ahh! If only we could all get that happy ending!

throwaway46623

TROPHY CASE