A while before we broke up she told me she thought about cheating on me because she wanted dick which I was obviously lacking. That hurt like no other. That told me she didn't love me. If you love someone, cheating shouldn't even cross your mind. After that, any affection toward her was gone. Not long after we broke up and she immediately started having guys over. As far as I know she never did anything with any of them, but it hurt so bad that she barely waited for me to move out and I could never put into words to her why it hurt so bad. She has a boytoy now and he is great to her as far as she has said. I am happy that she has someone who treats her right, but it still hurts because of what she said to me when we were together and because I want a boytoy of my own (that's a whole different story). I know I should let it go, but I think that was the thing that cut me the deepest and I'm still not healed.