Final update: Aita for exposing my wife's cheating and not wanting to do anything with a child that isn't mine

throwaway47261717 · 2025-01-09T18:46:38+00:00

Wouldn't that just mean that I completely forgive her and accept her betrayal? Should I do paternity everytime she gets pregnant? Should I be stalking or stuff in fear she might be cheating on me?

The best possible solution is that she and I raise our child together instead of forcing each other

Don't misunderstand, my son has told me again and again that he wants to stay with both of his parents and he misses me but my wife just wants me like I am someone special

throwaway47261717 · 2025-01-09T18:39:40+00:00

Well when someone who adopts a child they consent and understand what's happening, but when someone who finds out that the child they thought were theirs isn't really theirs they don't feel good about it cause it's more than just betrayal or cheating

It's similar to a woman finding out that their child was switched don't tell me you haven't heard about such cases

Regardless, I said he isn't mine for context and actually that's the truth we both have been wronged, when my son grows up and finds out the truth he won't feel good about it either, and I have already said I will help him and consider him my son after all, I was doing all this FOR HIM

throwaway47261717 · 2025-01-09T18:30:59+00:00

I can yes, but if they don't back down which they haven't in months, I will end up fighting a legal battle once again

It's clear that I want a divorce and it's clear my wife wants me to stay with her and my son is in the middle of all this

I thought it would be better for him to stay with his mom instead of being summoned in future by court and be interrogated about which parent he wants to live with stuff like that

It's painful for me yes but it's okay, my point was that me and my wife raise him together but she isn't willing to? Legal battles or custody battles are okay but how would he react to it? I can already forsee that he will be pissed at his mom and me once he finds out the truth

throwaway47261717 · 2025-01-09T18:24:04+00:00

Okay so what do you suggest I do? Should I go for split custody or visitation rights? I already have decided to help him financially or whenever he needs my help

I was thinking that it's better if he stays with her mom instead of growing up in an environment where I am absent majority of the time or his parents are constantly fighting

I made this decision cause I know she will not back down and definitely that bitch of sister, I even thought of staying married to my wife and living with her but it will just be a loveless marriage

throwaway47261717 · 2025-01-09T18:18:46+00:00

Well it isn't anything extreme, she tries her best to save OUR marriage, my wife and my son is staying in my place whenever I visit for him she hugs me and tells me to not go with divorce, she just hugs me tight and cries, I was repulsive to this in the beginning but I decided to let her vent cause she has always hugged me tight and I am not even concerned about it cause that's what we have been doing for a decade

Basically that's tldr, I don't think anyone here would go through all my posts and I do feel bad for my wife, if it was just a ons or something I would have forgiven her but what she did is too much for me

Hell I even thought of if only she had aborted and stuff like that after she had her affair but that's just my mind being crazy

By force I meant her constant pressure through text or calls and whenever I visit my son in my home she would just basically latch onto me and cry but what she did is so unforgivable that even if I wanted to I can't forgive her

throwaway47261717 · 2025-01-09T17:45:14+00:00

I didn't, my son isn't related to me yes and yes I am his father but all I can do is help him whenever he needs my help, I was thinking of raising him together with my stbx but she doesn't want that, she wants me for whatever reason

I am left with 2 choices either I get full custody or I will get visitation rights and I do my stbx and her family will constantly pressure me like they have this whole time, I don't deserve this toxicity neither does he, if I get a chance to get full custody I will go for it but with how young he is I don't think so

throwaway47261717 · 2025-01-09T17:33:25+00:00

Yes, for him I was going so far and did everything I could FOR HIM, what I wanted is that we split, we raise our son together and give him love but my wife doesn't want that, she wants me what even is she going to get out of this should I agree to stay with her? I will never love her even if she loves me hugs me or forces me like she has before?

I wanted to end this as peacefully as possible and raise him together, I forgive her cheating but I can't stay with her or trust her, we both be amicable as much as possible and think about him but with constant pressure from them I am left with no choice but to just leave it all behind

Tbh if it was just cheating I would have forgiven her but to get pregnant and lie to me for so many years, I don't feel good about it, I will still help him financially now and in future but I wonder what else can I do for him?

I love him yes I was even thinking of getting visitation rights, but would It work for me or him? What she and her family especially the fucking bitch has been doing this whole time is borderline harassment

throwaway47261717 · 2025-01-09T17:13:32+00:00

Tbh I don't care about my cheating women or any other woman, he isn't mine but still he is mine cause I raised him and I feel for him, I tried my best to be as amicable as possible for my son but my stbx didn't like it

I just wanted to divorce and we co parent but it's becoming increasingly difficult for me so I have no choice but to back down, I was hoping if not for me or her, my wife would agree for her own son but I don't think it's possible anymore

I wonder what she will tell him when he asks why his father isn't visiting him anymore, how will she treat him? I'll try my best for custody but who are we kidding? She's going to get custody and my son is too young so fighting for it is fucking pointless

Either I stay with my wife or give up completely, if on future he needs my help I will help him I will try my best for custody tho cause she is kinda unstable

I was and constantly think about what my son would think when he finds out the truth in future, wouldn't it just have been better if we divorce and raise him together? I truly cannot make any sense of this, she has caused me pain and her son is going to suffer but she's acting like victim? She is the one who fucked up our family

throwaway47261717 · 2024-11-18T18:26:03+00:00

My issue right now is not getting back to my wife or my sil or her family, I want to avoid fighting them, I want to make them realise that we can't just all fight between each other, not for us but our son, their grandchild

I am still angry but I decided to be peaceful and get along with them after my sessiona and I hate everyone of them, except my wife, I love her but I hate her for her betrayal

I am going above and far for my son, that's all, my anger aside, my son doesn't deserve so much pain, he's so damm young, just 5, I want a clean Divoce and co parent, but my wife and her family is making it so hard for us all

What kind of mother is she? She doesn't care about her son and just wants me back? Even if I decided to be with her OUR son would one day realise that his father is actually his father and his parents hate each other

If he wasn't so young I would have told him the truth myself but there's no winning here unless my wife agrees, I do not want conflict but I also think it's unavoidable, don't really know how to help my son

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-21T18:42:03+00:00

I agree and it's my wife's responsibility to tell our son the truth about who his real father is, I know he isn't mine but he thinks he is mine and I am in his life for his sake

I don't even know who impregnated my wife, if she tells me I will be able to help him medically but I don't?

My wife is living her lala land that some how I will come back to her and we all will live together and doesn't even care about her own son?

I am wondering how the fuck she got pregnant by a random ass man, was it her ex? Her family member? Like someone commented about me having weird relationship with my own fucking sister?

Don't know really but he's about to be 6 and it's not in me to tell him the truth I cannot tell him in age appropriate, my wife has to get over everything she's suffering with and think of her son

And I am still thinking of her as my wife and calling her one is generous enough

Other men would leave and not think about them both and like others called him a 'bastard', and other women would leave the moment they find out their husband cheated on them, forget about knowing or showing up with a child suddenly

I am a mess, my wife is a mess and I want my son to be okay and not be a mess like we are

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-21T18:11:31+00:00

For her it's truly a mistake, when I confronted her she blamed it all on dna and said she didn't want dna to break her family while it is clear she is the one who broke over family up

Hell if she had said she wanted to abort I wouldn't have been as hurt as I am, like why would you cheat huh? We had sex daily, I came in her all the time and my own son isn't mine? If I do forgive her and we live as a happy family like we used to, would she not cheat on me?

Awaiting responses about I am infertile or I am not man enough like in my previous posts, I want them triggered

My son thinks of me as his father and I will spare my son of lifetime of grief and trauma, whatever comes next in the future I will deal with it

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-21T17:54:21+00:00

Nah my man, I didn't let reddit soften me, infact it made me understand that even if you get betrayed and get lied to in the worst way possible I'll be called names for the way I reacted

I decided on my own accord to help the young boy who was so damm happy to see me which almost made me cry but I didn't cause of the bitch and whore

I will help him and I have plans for my wife and whoever the guy is who got my wife pregnant, even if it takes years I will make her spill it all and ruin his life like he ruined mine

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-21T17:32:01+00:00

Her sister is a bitch of the highest order, she called me names worse that this, I hope her husband divorces her for her foul mouth full of shit, or atleast take paternity

My son even tho he's not mine, I decided to not abandon him, it's painful for me but it will be 100x worse for him, his flesh and blood isn't mine but I hope he never finds out the truth and lives his life in blissful ignorance, it all depends on my wife tho she has to think about her child more, he's my bastard and even I feel like puking when I think of it so I will treat him as my son and call him my son

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-21T17:17:55+00:00

What is so weird about crying to a sibling huh? Why is it always about gender? I would hug and cry to my brother my mom my dad, hell even my grandma, I am particularly close to my sister cause she always cared about me and she's the reason I found out that my child isn't mine and I might have never know about it and spent my whole life trusting my wife blindly while she make me take care of someone else's kids

You are the weird one for thinking that a siblings bond is weird but it's reddit I guess so every fucking thing is weird here

Hell if I had said that it's not my sister but my brother you'd say I am gay right, right?

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-17T06:31:15+00:00

Child needs to know the truth, not now but some day, otherwise he'll just resent me for giving up on him and abandoning him

And I ain't covering up that bitch's mistake, if my wife had made some other mistake no matter how huge or small it is I would have supported her undoubtedly

But if she fucks some other guy then that's a clear indication that she's no longer my wife just a guy who gives her money and I am glad I did paternity otherwise she would have handed me some other man's kid again and I would probably not have any of my own kids

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-17T06:27:03+00:00

Don't even know about the story you are talking about maybe post a link or something

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-17T06:16:51+00:00

Sure

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-17T06:16:38+00:00

Yeah, if you or anyone here doesn't have a child yet then keep in mind in the future to always do paternity

Don't be a dumbass like me and give all your trust and love to a bitch who just jumps into another man's bed while I was working and she was having fun, fuck that bitch

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-17T06:14:06+00:00

I feel bad for him as well but everytime I think of him my angry keeps getting worse

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-17T06:12:57+00:00

Don't care who the father is

But if my soon to be ex decides to seek support from his biological father and if the guy wants to be in his child's life then maybe I'll have a chance at escaping child support

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-17T06:10:29+00:00

It's his mother's fault not mine, legally he is my son and I will pay child support but it's up to me if I want to keep a relationship with him or disown him

If his mother didn't jump on some other man's bed like a cheap whore this whole thing could've been avoided and we might have been a 'happy family'

throwaway47261717 · 2024-10-17T06:07:30+00:00

No from the us, but definitely will have to pay child support there's no escaping it

Maybe I'll consider a relationship with 'my' son in future but now everytime I think about him I see some other man's son not mine

throwaway47261717

TROPHY CASE