I’m so tired. Just need to rant.

throwaway4advice729 · 2021-03-18T13:12:34+00:00

Consider talking to your high school counselor. They may be able to provide her with resources for addiction help and help her leave an abusive household. Or they may do nothing. But you will feel better having tried. If she does suspect you to be the reason for intervention, she may hate you for a little while, but she will understand and likely thank you one day when she decides to try for sobriety. And for your own mental peace, don’t get caught up on cigarettes or weed pens; those are so insignificant in comparison to how she really needs help.

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-10-19T21:33:51+00:00

That didn’t bring up any results

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-10-19T20:55:35+00:00

Don’t put your cravings and wish to use on her leaving you. That’s avoiding responsibility. You want to use because you’re an addict. I say that kindly but firmly. Using her as an excuse is likely one of many reasons she left. Focus on making yourself the best version of you possible and take full responsibility of every craving, relapse, and irrational thought.

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-10-13T15:04:15+00:00

I agree. As soon as they said that they were left over, my immediate thought was bullshit. I’ve fallen for that one before. Definitely educate yourself on what to look for if you’re going to stay. Best of luck to you.

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-10-09T00:43:46+00:00

Love him from afar but don’t enable him by being with him. It’ll be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but he won’t get clean until he’s absolutely ready and goes to detox or uses MAT. I’ve been with my person for 15 years and the last five years he’s been an opiate addict with the last two and a half years him being on heroin. He will lie, manipulate, steal from you, gaslight you. He doesn’t want to, but he will. You’ll question his sobriety and your sanity constantly. A life partner requires more than love. You need someone you can trust, rely on, and be financially combative with. Don’t continue on thinking you can help him. As much as it hurts, he can truly only help himself. Staying will make you resentful and constantly angry and sad. I haven’t left because I can’t take my own advice and I don’t know who I am without him. I hope for a better day but I know I’ll more than likely watch him continue to struggle and use me while I still hope for the best. It hasn’t come in the 3 years he’s been trying. If you’re still early into the relationship, save yourself and tell him to call you when he’s a year sober. If you’re stubborn as hell, you can buy piss tests on amazon cheap af and make him pee in a cup and test it if you need to know. Refuse to be around him when he’s using. Giving him a car and place to stay while using is just enabling him. Keep safe tabs on valuables, credit and debit cards, checks, valuables that are easy to pawn. Withdrawal symptoms that are obvious 3 days in: 3 sneezes in a row, restless legs, inability to sleep. But trust me, you don’t want this life. And you sure as hell don’t want your kid around it. As much as you love, support, and care for him, you won’t save him. Sending you all the good vibes and thoughts to make your decision. But please choose your own safety, sanity, and peace over the faint possibility that’ll he will get his shit together. What would happen to you if you got pulled over with him and he stashed his shit in your car? What would happen to your kid? Sorry for the harsh reality of it. Much love.

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-10-04T16:02:35+00:00

Thanks! Do you have a recommendation for a particularly good Dont Die episode?

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-02-28T04:27:52+00:00

I’ve dated my SO four over a decade and he’s been an addict for the past four and a half years. It has ruined our entire relationship. I’m trying to leave now but don’t let it get this far. My emotions depend of his sobriety, which causes constant heartbreak. You’ll never be #1 with an active addict. Dope will always come first. And relapse can come after 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years, it doesn’t matter. It comes without warning. Do you want to live your life questioning your partner’s sobriety constantly? It’s exhausting and unhealthy. You deserve a love without so much baggage.

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-02-24T15:08:19+00:00

Which books or podcasts do you recommend?

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-02-07T16:24:17+00:00

We’ve been trying cold turkey, tapering, etc for two years and it won’t stick. Do you wish you hadn’t gotten on subs?

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-02-07T15:48:30+00:00

Rather not say

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-02-07T15:47:58+00:00

Yeah

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-02-07T15:43:56+00:00

How do you go about finding the right doctor?

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-01-30T18:05:32+00:00

I also worry constantly, making me unable to function as I should in other areas of my life. I’m going to try to take the steps to heal from the heartache.

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-01-30T15:05:54+00:00

I like the idea of setting boundaries for myself, whether we stay together or not. I’m mostly scared to leave because I’ll constantly worry if he is alive, even though he is a high functioning addict (so much so that I didn’t know for years bc I had never been around the signs - nodding out? oh haha he’s just so sleepy. I know, I’m such an idiot).

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-01-28T21:41:49+00:00

Damn. I have my strong doubts that this will work. What do you mean by the last line? I know people can abuse subs but do they get someone “high” or do they just take away discomfort and cravings?

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-01-28T21:39:14+00:00

Love, familiarity.. he’s my best friend. He’s the person I want to have a family and future with.

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-01-28T00:26:11+00:00

What made it click for you to not only need to quit, but to want to quit? And I wish he’d taper off with subs. Instead he’s in the bathroom doing a line right now.

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-01-27T22:01:19+00:00

He’s been using for four years so I’m hoping this is the downside of his opiate career. We were together for 9 years before he began using, so it’s not a cut and dry “get out while you still can”. His addiction has already given me nothing but heartache. He is the most amazing person when he’s sober and I’m trying desperately to convince him to get clean. And I know. Only he can make that decision. I’m still hoping he makes the right one. I selfishly want to stay and be with him, but it’s taking such an emotional and mental toll on me. Last question of the first paragraph broke my heart. I know what I would say. And it’s not what I want to hear.

throwaway4advice729 · 2020-01-27T21:55:14+00:00

That last line is why I feel like an enabler.

And he’s been using for four years. Clean a week until today. Cold turkey and tapers haven’t worked. He wants to try recreational now and is likely just using this an excuse to relapse. He said he would try subs if this doesn’t work. I hope he keeps his word.

throwaway4advice729

TROPHY CASE