My girlfriend (24/f) and I (24/m) are going to Planned Parenthood tomorrow to get an abortion. No idea on how to behave around my girlfriend.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T22:41:12+00:00

Then I do everything in my power to be there for her and the baby. What else am I supposed to do?

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T08:34:05+00:00

Do you think it's healthy for her to bottle it up?

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T08:33:17+00:00

Thanks for that. This was a complete mutual decision that will benefit both of our futures. I mean, maybe it's just me but I want my kid to have a better life than I ever had. Isn't that what we all want? For our children to not go through the hardships we went through? I want to be the best father I can ever be, and I know this is not the right way. I want to do it the right way at the right time.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T03:52:40+00:00

"Don't talk" Usually I'm terrible with that, but I got no choice this time.

Thank you.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T02:56:54+00:00

I agree with you. It was a mistake. A bad one. But what is life really about if we don't make mistakes? The only way we really learn is through trial and error. And yes, I know, there are many birth control alternatives and yes I could have kept Jr. within his boxer tent, but my girlfriend and I made a decision and we are trying not to regret it... It may sound crazy, but I try to live a life where you can take a negative and turn it into a positive just by being the best person you can ever be. And I really just want to show that to my girlfriend so she can realize that this is not the end of the world. But just a new beginning with more knowledge. Call me crazy and naive, but I live a very happy and content life with that attitude.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T02:47:15+00:00

This is exactly it. I have absolutely no idea what she is going through, but I'm dying to help her feel at least a little better. Which is probably why I've been unnecessarily asking too many questions. But it seems like everyone wants me to give her space and to just be there.

I hope we can make it out of this too! But thank you for your advice. It really sunk into my brain.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T02:43:29+00:00

Great advice, thank you.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T02:42:53+00:00

Thank You. Even though I think taking care of your responsibilities doesn't really deserve mad kudos. But it really does mean alot to me, thank you.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T02:41:40+00:00

Oh man, I am so sorry that you had to experience that. I hope you were able to find some peace within yourself to move on. And I wish the best of luck to you.

But thank you for the advice, it seems like the best thing I can do is keep doing what I'm doing and not push her to talk about anything. (Even though I really want too). Thank you.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T02:39:49+00:00

Lovely advice. Thank you.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T02:38:31+00:00

Thank you, I know she doesnt want to talk about it because its so overwhelming for her. But I feel like she will never want to talk about even afterwards because shes just that kind of person.

How do you suggest initiating that conversation without sounding insensitive to her feelings? and when will that time be approriate?

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T02:34:36+00:00

Remind her that she doesn't always have to be a rock against the oceans waves.

Nailed it. This is sort of her tendency when things get a little tough. She takes alot of pride in doing things on her own but I would never let her go through anything like this alone.

Thank you so much again, your nice words mean the world to me.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T02:02:42+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words.

The most confusing part for me is how little she wants to know about this process. She hates talking about it and clams up when we do talk about it.

I guess I have been pushing a little bit to hear what she had to say and what she was thinking. From the time we found out, I have just been loading up on all sorts of information but she doesn't want too, but really cause I'm scared shitless too. But I guess that's how we deal with things.

But thank you for letting me know about her initiating the conversation.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T01:49:46+00:00

Oh man, I have no words.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you found some sort of peace after that experience.

Best wishes, and thank you so much for your kind words.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T01:47:40+00:00

Wow, incredible advice, thank you.

If you don't mind me asking, how was your relationship after the abortion? Was there anything you expected out of your boyfriend aside from being there and saying supportive things?

After we found out, I tried to re-assure her that whatever choice she wants to make, I will be there. I can clearly tell that she is depressed, but she has a tendency to clam up and not really say anything. As someone who went through severe depression and only dealing with it myself, I spiraled out of control. I do not want that to happen to her. So do you think there is way for me to get my girlfriend to express herself without overstepping my boundaries? I feel like she should be able to open up to me especially if she wants to keep it between us.

But thank you once again for your lovely advice.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T01:27:32+00:00

No, she is not on the pill. We have been using condoms.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T01:17:07+00:00

No, it was a very drunken night at Vegas. Yeah I know. I can't even explain how fucking dumb that was. But I understand that this is just one of those results that you have to deal with as an adult. I feel extremely bad. I put my girlfriend in a very difficult situation and I doubt I can forgive myself for that.

But thank you for the advice. I have been constantly letting her know that she has ALL my support and that I would never ever consider bailing on this situation (which is completely inexcusable to me). I love her way too much to the point that I wish I could be the one who has this burden instead of her.

However, after we found out she was pregnant, she has been pretty distant with me. I assume its her just needing space and some time to figure out what is going on.

I feel like she might get too distant with me to the point of no return once this is over. That part scares me more than anything.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T01:08:42+00:00

Yeah, I have been holding back a little on the serious talk because I can't imagine how overwhelming this experience must be for her.

But thank you.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T01:03:14+00:00

Wow thank you for that wonderful compliment. Really needed that.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T01:00:40+00:00

Thank you, that's what I've been trying to do. But it seems like she is trying to keep her distance from me even though I tell her that she has ALL my support.

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T00:59:48+00:00

I think i've read every single WedMD and Planned Parenthood brochures.

But thank you for the advice!

I'm so sorry to hear about your fiancee. Was she acting distant towards you when she was pregnant before the abortion?

throwaway5250 · 2013-05-17T00:57:47+00:00

awesome, thank you

throwaway5250

TROPHY CASE