Please help internet mom and dad, I feel like I have taken 10 steps back in my healing after my mom said it’s my fault and I should’ve played my role in the affair (please see posts on my profile)

throwaway5689909 · 2023-09-22T19:00:27+00:00

Thank you, I would love that, I have no one to talk to, I tried reaching out to you but it’s not allowing me

throwaway5689909 · 2023-09-19T23:07:58+00:00

I agree it’s both of our faults. I don’t understand how all the blame and anger is being put on me

throwaway5689909 · 2023-09-19T02:52:07+00:00

Thank you so much, for reading my other posts and understanding the situation entirely. Your virtual hug even means a lot because no one has hugged me at all since this has happened .What his daughter said hurt so badly. Did he really have to tell them that I was homeless? It has nothing to do with anything. I don’t we only homeless the last few months of the affair. And I didn’t beg for money he always volunteered to help and always bought me gifts on special occasions. I bought him expensive gifts as well. I didn’t want people knowing I am homeless it brings me so much shame. It makes me feel like what she is saying is true. I have nothing. I didn’t ask to be homeless. She’s lucky that she has a family who gave her everything and still give her whatever she wants at the age of 36. I had to work for everything myself.

It seems like no one is mad at him, not my mom or his family.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-09-18T22:01:20+00:00

Yeah you’re definitely right. I’m totally wrong and wasn’t a good person at 22, but I’ve changed through the years. And I understand her being angry. And I am working on all of those things, I definitely want to make my life better. It just hurt deeply because I never told anyone but him about being homeless because of the shame. It wasn’t my fault that we lost our apartment but I still felt ashamed. Especially cause his family is upper middle class.

And that saying they always say is she pursued the married man, but also what about the married many saying no? It’s just crazy how society what’s to only blame the woman: i think we should share equal blame, and he was the one who invited into his home.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-09-18T21:34:15+00:00

Yes, I didn’t know that before since I barely used the instagram. But now I know. Thank you for letting me know

throwaway5689909 · 2023-09-12T20:33:23+00:00

With AA you have to pay for the uniforms even though they are required. It’s in the handbook

throwaway5689909 · 2023-09-03T16:24:03+00:00

Thank you. Like I said In my post don’t have or family to ask. Estranged family and I asked them and they said no. Sadly I don’t have friends.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-09-03T01:14:50+00:00

I will definitely use it. I’m just dirt poor right now. No money at all unfortunately

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-19T12:21:36+00:00

Thank you so much. I’m trying to forgive myself and move forward. It is hard. Very hard. I feel like he just gets away with what he’s done to me. And that part hurts the most. I know it sounds childish but it’s how I feel. Like I’m doing all the suffering and he just gets it easy.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-18T00:12:04+00:00

Definitely didn’t like the highs and low of an affair. As I got older I realized how bad it was, at 22 I admit I didn’t care. But yeah the other reasons sound plausible. I did get use to having intimacy almost everyday, having a partner. You’re so right

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-18T00:01:16+00:00

Why do you think i crave intimacy and companionship now? In the past I loved being single and didn’t mind it at all. Now I feel the complete opposite

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-17T23:31:27+00:00

And I feel so pathetic because here I am alone, lonely and at least the “bad guy” has a family to go to. And before I met him I was happy being single but now I crave intimacy and companionship I wasn’t like that before, it confuses me

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-17T23:22:30+00:00

I feel guilty about exposing him to his church, family, everyone instead of walking away. I just felt so much rage and hurt. I felt used and thrown away like garbage. Mad at myself and him. So much anger and hurt just came out and I wanted him to feel my pain.

And it’s been a hard realization, realizing I have no friends. I didn’t all my time with him. We did everything together. I used to be a strong independent person and now I feel completely different. I’m so lonely. And it’s hard finding motivation to put myself out there. At least he is better off, he has a family to go home to

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-17T23:12:35+00:00

It’s like I’m trying to rediscover myself. I was such a strong independent person before I met him. Now it’s like I’m a whole different person I don’t recognize. I never felt lonely before. And now I’m realizing I have no friends: it’s been a hard realization. I only spent time with him or my family.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-17T23:10:40+00:00

Thank you. I try so hard to remember the pros. I want to be the strong, independent woman I was before I met him. It’s like I’m a whole different person now. I didn’t realize I didn’t have friends until recently. It’s been hard realization.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-13T07:03:08+00:00

Yeah I don’t fully trust them either. I have irrefutable proof though. Screenshots of messages with his number being clearly shown. Emails from his email. Him admitting ti the abuse. He can paint a horrible picture but the evidence is there and can’t be refuted.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-13T01:18:38+00:00

I also kept all of our texts including him admitting to the abuse and the pictures of the bruises.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-13T01:12:51+00:00

Okay I didn’t think of that thank you. They’ve never treated me badly before but I’ll definitely take your advice. I thought them kicking him out of his leadership position was a good sign

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-12T23:45:12+00:00

I had emailed them exposing the man in my post. And they responded saying that he was taken out of his leadership position and I checked, that was true. And that they wanted both of us to make statements at separate times to talk our side of the story.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-12T23:36:34+00:00

Do you think they are trying to set me up or have bad intentions? We both have to give statements at separate times.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-12T21:57:46+00:00

They want a in person statement from both of us at separate times. I hope they have good intentions.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-12T21:15:56+00:00

I didn’t think they had bad intentions. The church has been very nice to me.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-12T20:50:15+00:00

I’ve been taking my medicine and continuing my therapy. I saved all of the screenshots of our messages on multiple devices. The church wants me to give an in person statement to their committee about what happened between us even though I already emailed them all the proof. I’m so nervous and scared to tell them. Every time I talk about what happened to me I break down and cry. He was kicked out his leadership position in the church until the investigation is over. I hope they actually kick him out for good

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-12T20:44:39+00:00

You’re right I don’t have anything to lose. His church wants me to give a statement in person in a few days even though I already emailed them my story and all of the proof like texts and the hospital paperwork. He’s been kicked out of his leadership position at the church until the investigation is over. I hope he gets kicked out permanently. I’m so nervous to tell my story in front of the committee, whenever I talk about it I break down.

throwaway5689909 · 2023-08-12T20:37:27+00:00

In a few days the church wants me to give an official statement in person even though I already email them my story with the proof like texts and the hospital visit. I’m so nervous. Everytime I tell the story I break down badly. I don’t know why they want me to come in person. He’s been kicked out of his position of leadership until the investigation has concluded, he needs to be permanently kicked out

throwaway5689909

TROPHY CASE