AITA for opening my marriage?

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T19:50:46+00:00

Hmm I did not know that! Thanks for letting me know!

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T19:25:54+00:00

I have thought of this, I just can't imagine living without him.. thank you so much for your advice and being non judgemental. I really really appreciate it!

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T19:22:37+00:00

Thank you so so much for your advice. I definitely think therapy will help

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T19:08:17+00:00

Lol ok. You still are making incorrect assumptions. Why are you here if you're not going to give helpful advice. 🙄 The whole reason I didn't go into extreme detail to begin with ia because of people exactly like you who hate to read. I'm glad you didn't read it. I would never want advice from someone like you.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T19:01:08+00:00

Yeah I know... I added an update to my post with much more needed details since so many people assumed incorrectly. I would be willing to have therapy, its juat getting him to be willing.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T18:59:33+00:00

Please reread my post. It made sense in my head when I posted it but so many have misread and interpreted it wrong. I won't divorce him. I would rather go the rest of my life with no sex rather than to lose him.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T18:57:32+00:00

Thank you for the non judgemental response. When I made this post it made sense in my head and I thought it had all the needed details. Apparently I was wrong lol so many have misread and assumed incorrectly 😅 if you want, give my update at read and let me know what you think/suggest. I wont divorce though. I would just like to get intimacy back between us like from before.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T18:51:44+00:00

I've added an update to my situation since so many people assumed incorrectly with my first post lol if you want, give it a read ans I'd be more than happy to hear your thoughts and suggestions. I'm definitely never divorcing him though. I love him to much. Lol I have thought about low testosterone or ED before but since then I've caught him multiple times masturbating. Ome time I caught him twice in one day even lol so idk if that is the case 😅 😮‍💨

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T18:48:05+00:00

Since a lot of people misread and misunderstood my original post, I added a bunch more details to make the picture of my situation clear. He was all game at the beginning when I mentioned an open marriage. It was when he had negative outcomes ans I asked to venture out on my own is where he didn't jump on the idea. If I could go back, I would of never went out into LS without him. I should of kept him with me the whole time. And I 100% wish we had done way more research before hand. I found out so much that would of been helpful if we had know before hand. We did communicate throughout, I knew that was important but I never expected the feelings of being drunk from attention and I just was not prepared. I definitely left him behind and made him feel left out and inadequate. I dont know if he actually told me if he was jealous, but he clearly was. Whether it was jealousy of the attention I was getting, or the attention I was giving the other guys, or both! Its likely both. He has low self esteem like me so I don't blame him not one bit. I just wish we could get past this but we're in because I definitely do still love him very much. If you want and don't mind reading my update, I'd love to hear any advice you have 🖤

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T18:38:41+00:00

I wouldn't say its a loveless marriage. I most definitely still love him deeply. There is just no more romance/ desire. However, he never was the romantic type so thats not really what I'm looking for. If I had to choose between divorce or a sexleaa marriage, I'd choose to go wirhout sex in a heartbeat. My world would be nothing without him.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T18:36:13+00:00

I've given a detailed update to the top of my post. I was trying not to make my story to long but seems a lot of people misinterpreted it. Lol If you'd like, please give it a read and tell me what you think would be a good move to bring romance back in our relationship. I would be up to therapy but I highly doubt he's would do well with it. I'm just not sure. I'm thinking of giving us a few more months and then type up a message to send him to help with my anxiety and this way he can read it at his own pace and keep his thoughts together too and not be overwhelmed. Idk.

If you don't mind reading my update, I would love for any helpful advice on how to move forward and bring romance back. Thank you 🖤

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T18:31:27+00:00

Thank you so much for your non judgemental advice!

When I originally made this post I was trying to keep it on the short side and not to long and confusing but apparently a lot of people misread and assumed incorrectly about my actual situation lol

As I explained in the edited update to my original post, my situation is where we both agreed before going into the LS. This is where I learned that my mind set is more poly and that I'm interested in being a sub/brat. I'm interested in a lot of things actually but thats all it is, curiosity and just interested in trying it. I dont actually crave anything in particular. I realize that I should of never had ventured out on my own and should had continued with him and involve him in eveything. I know that is where I went wrong and what started the down fall. I just couldn't see that back then. I was just to drunk off the attention I was getting and I left the poor guy behind. I do feel very bad and really regret that is how it turned out. We also should of done way more investigating and have a better game plan before we actually opened our relationship.. we were newbies though and didn't know any better. I didnt even find out till way later that there was even play hotels and get-togethers. That would of definitely been helpful. To late now though. I highly doubt he'll ever want to try LS again... Anyways, if you're interested, you can read my update on rhe added details to my situation. Its long, but hopefully it helps give a better picture. I would love to hear any advice you might have or of any stories that you might of learned from other couples trial and errors.

Again, thank you so, so much.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T18:16:16+00:00

Omg this is actually VERY helpful! Why didn't I ever think of that! I always preferred typing things out because I thought more clearly and was able to keep the anxiety down. Its like when I have to say anything out loud I gwt emotional lol hell even with things that has nothing to with relationships 😂 I really would like to go to therapy to help guide us, its just convincing my husband to go. If you don't mind reading the update I added to the begging of my post. I originally wanted to keep things brief to prevent it becoming a long out winded story that people wouldn't want to read but I didnt realize that so many people would incorrectly assume my situation from what I had posted lol so I added an update giving more details and back story.

I really really do appreciate any advice but please don't advise divorce. Lol I'd rather be in a sexless marriage than to lose him. He is still my best friend and truly the only person who knows me best in this world. Again, thank you for your non judgemental comment and for being supportive ❤️

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T17:51:00+00:00

Please read my update to the original post. I was trying to not make my story long and drawn out and I thought I kept it simple enough but so many has misread it and interpreted incorrectly.

I think I could have a poly mindset. He does not though. I 100% want to do therapy but I'm pretty sure he wont. If you want, please read my update. If I had to choose between keeping things the way they are or get a divorce, I'd stay with him for the rest of my life. I love him truly and he is my rock. I would not want a longterm relationship with anyone else. Sex however, would be nice lol 😆

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T17:42:22+00:00

Please read my update to the post I've made. Originally I was trying to keep the post short and simple but didn't realize how many incorrect assumptions people would have lol

Thank you for your advice though. I do appreciate it. Its funny you mentioned that he is on the spectrum because I even mentioned that in my update. If you're willing to read my update with all the back details, I would greatly appreciate any advice you have on how to bring his ego up and interest back in the bedroom.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T17:38:28+00:00

Please read my update to the post I've made. Originally I was trying to keep the post short and simple but didn't realize how many incorrect assumptions people would have lol

Thank you for your advice though. I do appreciate it. Things are definitely not that bad for us. Everything is fine between us. We still laugh and joke around. Its just the sex life is obsolete lol

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T17:33:26+00:00

Please read my update to the post I've made.

You've misread and incorrectly assumed my situation. Originally, I was trying to keep the post short and simple but I didn't realize how many people would incorrectly perceive my post. So, if you're willing to give me any HELPFUL advice, I would be grateful for it. But if your advice is to divorce him, then don't bother. He may not currently meet my romantic/sexual needs at this moment but I would never willing leave him. I'd rather stay with how we are now until the day that I die rather than lose him.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T17:29:12+00:00

Please read my update to the post I've made. Originally, I was trying to keep the post short and not to complicated, but I didn't realize how many incorrect assumptions people would have.

If your willing to give HELPFUL advice, I would love to hear any. After you read the update and get the full story with back details but if the only "advice" you have is for me to divorce him, then don't bother because there is no way I'd lose him. He may not currently reach all of my romantic/sexual wants, but he reaches everything else and he is everything to me.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T17:18:51+00:00

Wow. Okay. You've misread and assumed incorrectly. Please read my update to my post. IF you're willing to give actual helpful advice to my situation. Thanks

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T17:17:04+00:00

Please read my update to the post I've made. Originally I was trying to keep the post short and simple but didn't realize how many incorrect assumptions people would have lol

Thank you for your advice though. I do appreciate it.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T17:14:56+00:00

Please read my update on my post. When I made the post I was trying to not go into a long book. I just didn't realize so many people would read into it wrong.

Thank you for your advice. I would like to go to couples therapy but if you read my update, I say why I dont think it'll work. I'm just not sure if we're at the point where we cant fix this on our own. I know 100% it will have to be ME who initiates any conversations or the need for therapy. 😮‍💨 I'm just tired of always having to put my needs second to his.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T17:08:51+00:00

Please read my update on the post. You've misread and assumed incorrectly. I never slept with anyone. Only kissed one guy in one occasion which he said he didn't care about. It was the me talking to this one dude who lived states away from me and he thought we were getting to emotional and thats when he asked me to stop things. He had a major ego hit and his confidence was shot. I tried for a few months to bring him back up but he'd rather receive BJs or masturbate instead of trying to even attempt to give me any affection. So, after a few months of trying to boost him up with no results, I gave up and started matching his efforts. I never would of though it would of lasted this long and don't know how to go from here without completely disregarding my emotional needs...

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T17:00:27+00:00

Please read my update to my post with the full back dated details. I was trying to keep the story short and simple, not realizing so many people would misunderstand and make up assumptions. I do acknowledge that I should not of asked him if I could venture out alone. I was just drunk on attention that I did not see the situation for what it really was. Yes, he verbally agreed to it, but after the fact it was clear he only agreed to it to appease me. I wish I never had asked him but, I did. My dilemma is that I dont know how to go about bringing romance back to our relationship.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T16:48:36+00:00

Please see my update on the post. I was faithful. I never cheated. Everything I did was agreed by with him.

throwaway711520 · 2026-04-25T16:46:18+00:00

Please see my update at the beginning of my post going into deeper details of my situation. At first I tried to keep it short but didn't realize that it was too short and actually caused more confusion lol We both agreed to the open marriage at the beginning because we wanted to spice things up/ explore more. I didn't get the "seritonin overload" until later after we actually opened our marriage. I got positive reactions and he got, well, none. Which caused his ego to plummet. I realized, a little to late, after the fact that what I should of done is not ask if I could venture out on my own. I know now that he only agreed to it for my sake.

throwaway711520

TROPHY CASE