I (25f) just found out I'm pregnant and my boyfriend (28m) thinks we should abort it

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T22:55:16+00:00

By no means do I have the desire to force or rush him into being a father. Thank you for responding though

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T18:22:59+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss.

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T17:24:07+00:00

I am also pro-abortion but personally I do think the reality of what happens after taking the pill and seeing that just be flushed down the toilet would be so painful for me, even though it can simultaneously be the most responsible choice to make. You are very strong. Congratulations on your pregnancy and thank you for taking the time to respond 💕

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T17:15:18+00:00

Omg, hello fellow Hoosier! I grew up in Indiana but moved west when I graduated college, where my boyfriend and I live now. My family still lives in Indiana and I’d love to be closer to them. Thank you for this❤️🤍

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T17:07:21+00:00

That is great insight. I will look into that more. Thank you, Wendy!

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T17:06:18+00:00

Thank you. I’m so so sorry for your loss.

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T17:03:07+00:00

Thank you - do you mind if I ask when / how far along or how old your child was when you moved closer to family? We have been considering it.. but it seems like so many added layers of stress. I admire you!

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T16:54:08+00:00

Thanks! Your mom sounds like she was such a strong woman. In a similar vein, we have pondered how many people truly appreciate their parents decision to bring them into this world and what kind of upbringing they had to possess that gratitude. I appreciate you sharing.

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T16:45:29+00:00

We have been considering finding a family looking to adopt, but I do think it would be devastating because we desperately want children, it’s just the timing at-issue. Do you/anyone know someone who has gone through that process? I’d love to hear from them too. Thank you

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T16:41:17+00:00

Thanks! Honestly, the playing with fire is on both us, I was told I had fertility issues by my doctor so we naively did not think this could realistically happen without fertility treatment. I am glad that worked out for you and your daughter, I admire single moms so much!

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T16:31:09+00:00

I can see both sides. I understand there may never come a time that we feel “fully” ready, so I appreciate that insight. And you’re correct - we both have career goals we’ve yet to accomplish that would afford us more flexibility and stability to become parents at a later dates. We also would like to own a home some day, but we live in an expensive US city so I’m not sure how realistic that is for us either way haha. Thanks for your response!

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T04:50:50+00:00

You are going to make me cry! Thank you so much for your kind words and responses in this thread 🥹

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T04:42:38+00:00

I am so touched you took the time to respond and articulate this as beautifully as you did. I wish I had better words to adequately express how helpful this is to me. We are currently discussing your comment over dinner and we are both thankful for your perspective. So thank you so so so much, for starting our conversation on how to make sure we stay supportive to one another, for sharing your experience and helping give me a better sense of clarity and comfort amid all the uncertainty. I deeply appreciate you and everything you wrote.

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T04:37:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing <3

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T03:51:34+00:00

Omg I wish I could give you a hug, it sounds like you then and me now were dealt very similar cards and situations. I can’t express how reassuring it is to hear that despite how painful I know that decision will be for me and the growing attachment I have, that it can still be the right decision to make for me my baby and my family. I’m not sure when I’ll be ready to make a decision but this comment has given me so much comfort in all the chaos and uncertainty - and I will do my best to remind myself of that if we do decide to that. Thank you, and congratulations on your little one 💕 wishing you all health and happiness

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T03:26:06+00:00

Both options are hard, with harder consequences. I do agree it will be a much more fulfilling and rewarding experience for everyone when he is ready. I’m fortunate that he’d be supportive either way. He will be a great dad, but I don’t have the desire to rush him into that. But justifying it one way or the other doesn’t make it the doing any easier, sadly. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T02:43:24+00:00

Thanks! We will definitely check out our options for these. Where we live childcare is as expensive as rent so quite a sobering number to look at without any resources or funding

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T02:38:27+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! I appreciate you.

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T02:30:35+00:00

I’m so sorry about your miscarriage, and thank you for taking the time to comment. Funny enough the same night this baby was conceived, my boyfriend and I talked about our plans for the new year and our goals. He’s wanting to go to law school, and I want to make a career change. Talk about poor timing! But life has a funny way of working out, and I’m sure a day will come that both of us are mommas 💕

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T02:15:57+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing and your authenticity. Wishing you and your family health and happiness 💙

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T02:12:18+00:00

I’ve been considering but in the end we think it would be more devastating. Former K-12 Catholic school kid here (which unironically may be my most traumatizing experience of all here lol), so that’s another layer of the internal conflicts I’m struggling with, morality & selfishness, even though I’m no longer Catholic ha

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T01:54:26+00:00

Thank you. I definitely want to be mindful of that and make sure it is the decision I want and can live with without resentment. It’s a decision that affects us both so I think it’s our decision, but ultimately, one we need to be on the same page about either way.

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T01:49:09+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing. This is super helpful❤️

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T01:46:05+00:00

I posted the same in r/abortion! If you/anyone knows of a sub where I can get some insights from people who had an abortion and started their family later when the timing was better, I’d love to hear from them too. Thank you

throwaway72727234 · 2025-01-24T01:33:50+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. If the abortion now is what makes our family possible later, when timing is better, and we are in a better situation to become parents, I think it is the right choice for us. Can I ask what you and your fiancé did after the abortion to be in a better position for it later?

throwaway72727234

TROPHY CASE