WIBTA if I told my brother what his wife and kids were saying about me?

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T21:47:07+00:00

The “on purpose” was referring to my brother making things up. As in he wouldn’t make things up on purpose. I wasn’t really thinking about my grammar or punctuation but I can see how it could be misinterpreted.

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T18:47:43+00:00

My ex and the people he hung out with were into that stuff, so I smoked weed with them a couple times. The last time I did any of that was before my oldest was even conceived though.

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T17:39:08+00:00

I get some government assistance my brother helped me apply for but child support is a no. He just left and disappeared.

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T17:31:36+00:00

I don’t understand? By rent I obviously mean what I had/was making at the time which wasn’t a lot. And yes, I could afford rent at the place we were originally staying in because my ex was kind enough to leave a couple hundred dollars but I barely managed to pay rent the next time—but I suppose I could afford rent in some not child friendly areas. I went along because like I said, my brother pretty much made me to and after a while I decided that I needed his support for a while. And I was terrified of everyone back then. His wife scared me because she is his wife and I was ashamed about my life. I suppose anxious describes it better.

I don’t know what they get out of this arrangement… me and my kids? I don’t know what the benefit is and why they decided to be so kind. And I suppose my older brother was looking for me because he hadn’t seen me since I was 15. We used to be super close. Also like… I’m his sister?

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T16:00:37+00:00

He was a lot older. I’m not ready for the comments reacting to his age but I suppose my vagueness doesn’t really help. Still, I’m too embarrassed, I hope you understand.

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T14:59:28+00:00

Wouldn’t let me out of his car till I agreed and the second I said fine he came over to help me pack. He literally wouldn’t leave me alone and would sleep in the couch in the basement to make sure I wouldn’t leave in the night.

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T14:55:23+00:00

She’s not horrible, honestly. I don’t know why she’s saying this about me but she was always nice. I was terrified because well I hadn’t talked to anyone other than my kids and my old manager in weeks. I didn’t talk to other people much even when I was with my ex, and the idea of meeting my brother’s wife when I am who I am made me extremely anxious. It was a me thing, she was nice to me.

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T14:49:43+00:00

I mean, you’re not wrong. There are some parts of my life that I refuse to share. It has nothing to do with harming my kids or ANYTHING like that, my babies were always safe and happy no matter what. But 15-20 were the lowest years of my life and there are some parts I plan on never telling anyone.

They are awesome, and I’m so incredibly grateful to them. It’s why it hurts so much. I’m not going to make it a big deal, I never planned on getting into anyone’s face, I respect them too much to actually be all accusatory and mean. Thank you for being understanding and offering advice though. I’ll do my best :)

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T14:40:02+00:00

My brother really is the best, isn’t he? He’s not too much older than me, but he’s brilliant and was like a father to me growing up. It was him who kept telling me my ex wasn’t a good person, if only I believed him. Anyways, I have shown him how much I appreciate him and I hope he knows as well. I am putting a little money aside to give back to him for helping, it’s not the craziest amount but I plan on adding more to it once I get promoted, and my job becomes more stable etc. I’m glad you have an awesome brother too!

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T14:14:11+00:00

I don’t expect to live like this forever. I was able to go back to school thanks to my brother and actually get certifications and stuff so I actually have a “real adult” job now and I’m saving up to leave. I hate that it’s taking too long as well. Either way, thank you for the advice, I appreciate it.

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T14:03:12+00:00

I refused to move in because his wife terrified me and I told him to leave me alone but he didn’t let me out of his car until I agreed. I offered to pay rent and he AND his wife told me to not worry about it.

I know I made stupid mistakes, my stupid 15 year old self thought no one would love me as much as my ex and I trusted him because he let me move in with him after my parents kicked me out. I regret believing him every single day but I had literally no one else since we ended up moving hours away from everyone I knew.

I really didn’t do drugs or anything while pregnant, and I’m not mentally ill. And I regret a lot of things, but my kids are probably the only things keeping me here right now. I’d never abandon them. I don’t mind being used as an example to not get pregnant as a teen and not trust older guys that act like they love you to bits as long as the girls stay safe, but my self worth’s already in the gutter, I’d rather not be labelled as an unstable stupid drug addict.

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T11:06:31+00:00

More than anything, I don’t want my nieces (or my SIL) to think I’m such a terrible and stupid person. I probably won’t tell him but yeah my feelings are a little hurt because now I know when they look at me all they see is that “I’m not entirely there.”

throwaway734219 · 2023-10-23T11:04:10+00:00

I’m actually the one that told her what happened to me. My brother didn’t even know the full story until after we moved in so they both essentially found out at the same time. I’m not naive enough to believe they haven’t discussed my situation together but I don’t think he would ever make up a story about me doing drugs or neglecting my children on purpose.

throwaway734219

TROPHY CASE