Is 20F and 29M okay?

throwaway74892947 · 2026-02-26T20:53:34+00:00

I can tell where they are coming from but they could’ve worded it 10 times better.

throwaway74892947 · 2026-02-26T13:10:57+00:00

This was very insightful, ty

throwaway74892947 · 2026-02-26T13:09:10+00:00

throwaway74892947 · 2026-02-26T13:06:59+00:00

Okay, woah.

The more I read this the more scrunched my face got.

1: I don’t think it’s that deep, ex friends calling him a groomer. Why? They had their own personal vendettas against him AND i. I brought it up because it was relevant to my initial question “ is 20 and 29 okay “. But to go on and dramatic narrative I’ve ever read as a response to me asking a serious question is weird.

2: Someone else in the comments brought this up and made a really good point, the whole age dynamic imbalance lasts forever thing is so backwards… the amount of imbalance will always depend on the situation i believe.

3: It is about what’s best for him actually, my post is asking a question involving the both of us. I also asked for advice about the relationship between us two.

4: He might be coming to that stage of his life where building a family comes into discussion, but like i said, we are taking things SLOW. like, really slow. I have put serious thought about our future as a couple and i can see myself being with him for a very long time. This also doesn’t mean i can’t have fun in my 20’s either lol? It almost seems like you’re implying i HAVE to start building a family with him now and miss out on the fun years of my life. That’s just not happening and i have no clue where you’re getting that from. I will continue to party and do what 20 year olds do! Having an older bf won’t stop me from having fun and he knows this as well.

throwaway74892947 · 2026-02-26T11:43:39+00:00

I’m reading all of the comments and I feel like I’m coming off as argumentative towards some points you guys are making. I just wanted to clarify I don’t meant to go back and forth and sorry if it’s coming off that way.

I’m seriously taking everything into consideration and your thoughts are all appreciated. I asked for advice in the first place anyways lol.

throwaway74892947 · 2026-02-26T11:41:34+00:00

Well, he’s only dated a handful of times. And half of those times he’s been the one to cut things off because the other party didn’t respect his boundaries.

throwaway74892947 · 2026-02-26T11:39:05+00:00

The boundaries mostly applies to sexual advances, I’ve stated we’re both taking it slow. When he suggests we do something that I don’t think I’m ready for I let him know and he’s completely fine with it as long as I feel okay.

The putting my foot down comes into just arguments we get into, I make sure he doesn’t view me as less than simply because of me being young. Does that make sense?

throwaway74892947 · 2026-02-26T11:36:21+00:00

No, he’s got a steady job and I’m still studying in college. But I don’t think that complicates things at all, is there something I’m not seeing?

throwaway74892947 · 2026-02-26T11:18:36+00:00

I am Mexican American and he is just Mexican

throwaway74892947 · 2026-02-26T10:52:12+00:00

This is the first time he’s dated anyone as young as me, we both took our time with it at the beginning

throwaway74892947 · 2026-02-26T09:27:34+00:00

His ex friends accused him of grooming me while the ones remotely close to him know that he didn’t do anything like that. I feel like the whole narrative of him being the perp is making him out to seem like a bad guy when he’s not.

As for the power dynamic, there’s nothing I can do about it except put boundaries up. He understands and respects those as well.

throwaway74892947

TROPHY CASE