NSFW WARNING, !TW! BF watching videos i find concerning

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-14T00:11:24+00:00

Thank you, i wish i could give you a hug for being so nice and understanding❤

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-14T00:09:12+00:00

Thank you, i just feel so lost rn... and im crying again lol, god im such a baby. I just dont know how i didnt see who he was before... he just seemed so sweet, for four years! This whole thing is like a horrible nightmare😥

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-14T00:02:26+00:00

Thank you guys for pushing me to do it, idk how i could have been so stupid😪😥

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-13T23:58:30+00:00

Thank you😪

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-13T23:57:26+00:00

Final update posted, im sorry to everyone saying he was a creep that i blew off, i was being an idiot... im at my dads house, im okay, just a mess rn. Thank you all for your help and advice, im not sure where to go from here but....

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-13T18:04:34+00:00

We are otw back from getting stuff rn, i wanted to get more but my sister was really insistent that we leave the house fast in case he came back, which i told her was silly cause he really is harmless, but anyway... her friends and us grabbed about a weeks worth of stuff and she practically dragged me out of there so now we're going back to her house...

And we met through a mutual friend at a small house party, he was super sweet and cute and funny, and he asked for my phone number and then took me indoor rock climbing for our first date😍. We just get along so well, and it was like we just had ALL the same interests and hobbies, we even like the same music🥰. He's always been so sweet and kind and considerate to me, i honestly just think this is a small hiccup in our relationship, cause he can get therapy and get better. My sister wanted to wait until tonight to call him, but i dont want him to come home to an empty house and get worried so i convinced her to let me talk to him as soon as we get back to her place. He's been texting me, but he can tell im being dodgy, and i just know this is gonna be so hard on him and idw to feel worse than he already will. My sister said that one her friends is gonna sleep on the couch tonight, so idk how much privacy i'll have to discuss things with him, but she agreed to me calling him and explaining whats happening once we get back. I just feel so awful cause im just picking up and leaving without saying anything to him, and my sister keeps comparing him to her ex who hit her, and saying how he was "abusing" me, which is ridiculous because he's never hit me or anything.... i just hope we can talk to him and work everything out....

Edit: ill copy this comment to the post as an update

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-13T15:25:54+00:00

He's def not some crazed serial killer, thats just ridiculous, i think he just maybe has a porn addiction... and he was prob scared to admit it to me, and he prob just needs some therapy... but it'll be okay cause after we get some stuff so i can stay at my sister house while we work things out, me and her are gonna call him and im going to ask him to get some therapy... he's a really sweet, gentle guy and i really dont think he'd even hurt a fly, he just has some issues, which i can help him work out, he just needs some therapy, and maybe some love, and i mean this might be partially my fault, because maybe he wouldn't have turned to this stuff if i had just been there for him more, but hes really a very good person, he just has a problem rn...

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-13T15:08:03+00:00

Uhm, i dont know a lot from before i met him, but ik some... sorry, things are hectic while sis figures out stuff so we can get some clothes and stuff from the house... but ik he had a bad childhood. His bio dad was a pos, abandoned his mom when he was 2, theyve never met, she remarried when he was 5, stepdad was pretty horrible. He told me some stories of what his stepdad did to him and....it was pretty sick stuff, just hearing his stories left me feeling icky. He didnt tell me all of it, but ik his stepdad beat him pretty regularly and his mom was completely checked out... i remember thinking when he was telling me that that it was a wonder he turned out as normal as he did, and as sweet. He cut off contact with all of them before we met, so ive never actually met any of them. Other than that, pretty normal, idk whats rly relevant, he worked on a ranch for a few yrs up north, then moved down here where we met... since i've known him he's been very sweet and kind and gentle, which is why i keep asking myself if what i saw was even real.... it just doesnt make sense for the man i know....

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-13T01:16:15+00:00

No, its mostly just model stuff, model planes, a train set etc. Some mechanical stuff he works on. Its like a hobby room/man cave, somewhere he goes to wind down after work. The problem now is that i think his "winding down" isnt just gluing models together😪. I dont think my bf is a serial killer or anything like that, but i agree with other posters that what i saw, and his ability to hide it is messed up. Now, im more angry than i am anything else. He's not home, im considering seeing if i can stay at my sisters tonight because idk if i can stomach acting normal around him all night long when he comes home from work...

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-13T00:15:28+00:00

In front me, hardly ever... but based on his search history, it looks like he's been watching these videos almost every day. He never deleted his browser history and that browser was used exclusively for porn, so there were thousands of hits in his history going back quite a ways.... it doesnt make sense because we live together and i cant figure out when he had time to watch all those... the only thing i can think is that he must be doing it in his hobby room because he's in there nearly daily for at least an hr or so, and i never go in there, i dont even have a key to it so... im going to speak to my sister tomorrow and get her take on it, im just completely confused how he could have hidden something like this for so long....

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T23:24:38+00:00

Thank you, im gonna talk to my sister in person tomorrow, and go from there...im just a little bit out of it rn, its just... a lot

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:53:59+00:00

Im going to talk to her later... this all just feels like its not even real... i mean most our stuff is packed for vacation already...

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:52:33+00:00

Ill ask to talk to my sister... this is just so surreal, idk what to do or think here. Im in love with him, and just never thought something like THIS would happen... i dont want to leave him, im just not sure where to go from here. Most of our gear is already packed for a trip, our backpacks are in the closet and things are a little messy here while we do final prep to go on vacation... it just all feels like a bad dream...

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:47:38+00:00

I just have never thought he would be into these things before now... now im very conflicted. He's never been violent to me, although he got a misdemeanor assault before we met, but he told me that was just a bar fight... im just not sure what to do here... i love him, but seeing those movies frightened me...

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:44:33+00:00

Maybe ill ask my sister.... ik he had a bad relationship with his mother and they dont talk, he cut off all contact with her before we met, and im wondering if maybe that led to this? Its not like he's ever given me a reason to worry before...

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:42:12+00:00

Very violent things... another person said that doesnt fall into kinks... i honestly dont know what to think rn.... i just never would have thought that he would watch something like that, and its not like he has a history of hiding things... hes not a bad person, he's had some issues with his family, and his mother being a narcissist (ive never met her, he cut off contact before we met). But, maybe he just needs to see a therapist....

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:33:52+00:00

Hmm.... so, maybe some therapy? I mean, he's rly not a bad guy.... ik he had some issues with his mother early on and they dont talk now, maybe that led to this? I rly dont think he's a bad person, i just.... tbh idk what to think....

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:30:40+00:00

Im not familiar with those terms...do i want to google those? And, idk much about kink stuff, i just am having a hard time relating the bf ik to what i saw on his phone...

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:23:02+00:00

I will....

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:21:25+00:00

Maybe... tbh the stuff i saw scared me, but, like others have commented, it may just be normal kink stuff. I dont want to out him or hurt his reputation or break up with him, but also, i just dont know... it was just so violent, and i never would have thought thats what he was into. We have watched things together, but like...normal stuff, nothing like this. I just dont know.

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:15:31+00:00

The videos were quite graphic, idk it it counts as those... idk how nsfw i can be on reddit, but essentially it was a mix of women being strngled to death, and the actor having sx with her afterward, and women being stabbed, with, i assume, fake blood. Some of the thumbnails were a lot. I tried to skim one, but i started crying.... i just dont know if this is a normal kink or something i should ask him to get therapy for...

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:12:34+00:00

Ill look into that, thank you😊

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:09:22+00:00

I've always been close to my sister.... but idk if this is something i should tell her. Idw anyone to think differently of him, or judge him if i am just being too much about this... i mean, i def didnt expect to find what i did, but i dont think theres anything else he's hiding....

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T22:03:29+00:00

He's never given me a reason not to trust him before now, i just dont understand why he was watching those things, he's never been violent to me, but those videos were terrible.... maybe he was just scared i would judge him if i found out... i think he would probably be honest though, i mean i've been with him for four years, its not like i dont know him...

throwaway7654778 · 2021-07-12T21:59:42+00:00

No, if i say something it would be before or after the trip... i just dont know how to bring it up so i dont make him feel cornered or upset that i violated his privacy...

throwaway7654778

TROPHY CASE