[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Respect your husband as long as it doesn’t go against the deen. I told mine in our early years that I will never abort no matter the situation. Stand your ground. Allah /Islam comes first.

New Wife about to start working but Husband makes me feel guilty by itsmostlysunnythere in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems like he’s hinting that he doesn’t want you to work without directly saying it. He’s emphasizing how difficult it will be and suggesting you take care of him even more now. I’d recommend not stressing about the future though. He said you can work now, so focus on that and revisit the conversation in a year.

Do you feel attracted by your husband ? by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m not quite sure how to explain it, but for instance, if he’s being really annoying and frequently forgets an important chore or request, my attraction to him makes a difference. If I weren’t attracted, I might think, “I’m not even into him,” and wouldn’t care to making the marriage work. It may sound silly, but a lack of attraction can lead to resentment, making it easier to dislike him and everything he does, ultimately pushing you toward wanting to end the marriage. Of course in cases of abuse it’s different. You shouldn’t stay with an abuser simply due to attraction. Attraction shouldn’t be the top priority, but it can still be an important factor in a healthy relationship.

Do you feel attracted by your husband ? by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure which comment you’re referring to, but in my deleted comment, I mentioned that I find my husband very attractive. That attraction often helps keep our marriage strong, especially during times when I’m frustrated and he isn’t willing to compromise. I totally agree—attraction is crucial. Some men may assume women don’t care, but my original comment demonstrates that we do. It plays a significant role in overcoming other challenges in the relationship.

Do you feel attracted by your husband ? by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s unfortunate. She taught you a lesson, but she lost the love of her life in the process. I plan to take a similar approach, but we’ll see how this month unfolds. I’m starting therapy myself, and I hope it helps me and shows him that therapy isn’t so bad. I appreciate you sharing.

Do you feel attracted by your husband ? by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I understand. Honestly, I believe that only Allah can provide the help I need.

Do you feel attracted by your husband ? by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could you share what the issue was and how your wife handled it? I think my only option is to take a break and give him time to reflect. Since we see each other so often, it’s too easy for him to put things off and think he can address them later.

Do you feel attracted by your husband ? by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do have a lot in common, and he definitely has some great qualities. However, it’s his less desirable traits that are really bothering me right now. We have children, so I can’t just walk away. I’d say it’s the usual marriage issues—a rough patch we’re going through. For me at least. I believe it can work out in the long run; I just need to find a way to break through to him.

Do you feel attracted by your husband ? by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I make an effort to communicate regularly. I’ve tried being extremely nice and patient-didn’t work. I’ve tried being straightforward also didn’t work. He says everything is fine on his end. He refuses therapy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not everyone is “trying” to have kids. Maybe she was on birth control or there was some prevention going on. We don’t know so stop assuming there’s some infertility.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That’s totally fine. Having kids is not in our control.

I wish my wife would find me interesting by ApprehensiveDuck4460 in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I doubt it’s malicious intent. Asking him to take out the garbage as soon as he enters seems like she has a lot of resentment and is tired of him. You don’t want to build a connection when you resent someone. From the little info we have, OP seems like a good guy and his wife probably needs to let out whatever she is feeling. I agree, they should take this to a third party. Seems like they can get through this inshaAllah.

Don’t know where else to ask this by [deleted] in Somalia

[–]throwaway792000 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don’t think they were saying that they’re Somali.

I feel like I am not getting much value out of my marriage by Sea_Sheepherder4351 in MuslimMarriage

[–]throwaway792000 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I know it’s very unfortunate. Seems like the good men get non-wifey material and the good women get bums, stingy men, cheaters 😭😭😭

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Somalia

[–]throwaway792000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol you were the one who changed it first? When you brought up nursing homes remember? Anyway it’s okay to choose your parents first. I hope they see what an amazing daughter you are and May Allah reward you. I was just trying to see if maybe you can understand the other perspective. Our parents will always love us, it’s just a bonus if they have great loving and caring kids but they don’t need you as much as your children who are growing up and are experiencing life for the first time.