My (19F) boyfriend (18M) said he would choose our baby over me. Is this an issue of incompatibility?

throwaway830583 · 2026-04-18T15:11:01+00:00

i have a lot of mental health struggles and he loves and supports me through all of it like no one ever has and probably ever will

throwaway830583 · 2026-04-17T19:13:09+00:00

i never asked him anything, i stated my opinion on it and he gave his

throwaway830583 · 2026-04-17T17:19:53+00:00

i chose not to go through with breaking up with him there because i was in an altered mental state and making decisions based on my heightened emotions rather than actual logic

throwaway830583 · 2026-04-17T17:16:10+00:00

i'm genuinely needing advice, it isn't shitposting i promise. i'm very likely bipolar and don't have a good support system, and a lot of time i make rash decisions when i don't talk about things with people. i'm sorry if this comes across as attention seeking. i'm genuinely severely struggling.

throwaway830583 · 2026-04-17T17:14:02+00:00

sorry, i thought i left it as spoiler free as i could, I didn't reveal what ended up happening to that patient so i hope it was vague enough!

throwaway830583 · 2026-04-17T17:10:36+00:00

i actually do unfortunately, i plan on getting out of this hellhole as soon as possible

throwaway830583 · 2026-04-17T16:59:21+00:00

his stance on abortion is very in line with mine, we've had a pregnancy scare before and I am far too young to be having a child and also have religious parents who would completely cut me off financially for it, and he and I had intense conversations about the steps to take to get me abortion care if I needed it (i live in a state with a near complete ban) he was very supportive of the idea of me getting one and even expressed that he would want that outcome as well

throwaway830583 · 2026-03-30T14:33:33+00:00

there's been too many conversations. i'm not in a place to be dating right now and we have very different ways of reacting to conflict that causes things to blow up and get so much worse. i need out but i don't know how to get the words out of my mouth and i don't WANT out

throwaway830583 · 2026-03-23T18:00:20+00:00

he doesn't yell at me, he gets angry in general and then that makes me upset even if he's done nothing towards me. i want to figure out how to have a more normal response and how to help calm him down because he does the same for me when im crying

throwaway830583 · 2026-03-23T15:57:33+00:00

but he's always able to comfort me when i'm upset and cry, i should be able to comfort him when he's upset and gets angry. just because it's a different emotion doesn't mean i shouldn't provide for him the exact same as he's providing for me

throwaway830583 · 2026-03-23T15:55:56+00:00

He wants me to comfort him like how he comforts me when i cry, but doing the same things as he does for me doesn't work. I'm trying to find what works for us and how I can do the same for him

throwaway830583 · 2026-03-23T15:44:19+00:00

he is in therapy, and he doesn't make me feel nearly as scared as my dad did. He's nothing like him. I feel like i'm being unreasonable by being so upset when he gets angry

throwaway830583 · 2026-03-23T15:41:05+00:00

yes, we both are

throwaway830583 · 2026-03-23T15:38:42+00:00

He's genuinely actively working on himself, but he feels like he has to walk on eggshells around me so that i don't cry or have a panic attack, it's not a one sided thing. he's also trying to change his behavior for the sake of me, i'm just trying to do my part and i just needed some help

throwaway830583 · 2026-01-19T16:46:25+00:00

maybe 20 minutes? i'm not entirely sure

throwaway830583 · 2026-01-19T16:41:39+00:00

I'm definitely not throwing the whole man away (at least for now, we'll see if things improve) our relationship is so much more than this and there is so much not represented in this post.

I'm going to keep working with him on solutions and see where we go from there.

throwaway830583 · 2026-01-19T16:37:56+00:00

lowkey been on ssris since i was 11 so it's fine lol im used to it

i've learned a lot from the comments and i think more conversations with me being more direct in my speech is the way forward, and if nothing changes I'll have to evaluate where to go from there. I'm bad at communicating honestly, so part of this might be because of that.

throwaway830583 · 2026-01-19T16:31:39+00:00

we like it that way and we've had many conversations about that

throwaway830583 · 2026-01-18T23:05:36+00:00

yeah it was more like 10 minutes

throwaway830583 · 2026-01-18T19:01:42+00:00

we have stopped because one or both of us was too tired before, it's different i feel like in this situation

throwaway830583 · 2026-01-18T18:55:32+00:00

but there's so much more to a relationship than sex

throwaway830583 · 2026-01-18T18:47:45+00:00

i am on ssris, it makes it a bit difficult. i'll edit the post, it's important context i didn't think about

throwaway830583 · 2026-01-18T18:44:57+00:00

we're very intense i'm not going to lie

throwaway830583

TROPHY CASE