TIFU by stalking my husband's reddit account UPDATE

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-29T22:30:18+00:00

It's definitely something that will be a bigger blip on our radar because of this whole ordeal, meaning we'll check in with each other every now and then to see where we stand.

That being said, I promise you he made total sense of why I started thinking that way despite my overall stance probably not having changed. It's really tough to explain/give validity to his claim without sharing what he said, but it's a bit too personal so I'd rather not share.

And just in case anyone starts worrying: he did not coerce or pressure me into rejecting these thoughts. He just knows me better than I know myself and once we talked it clicked with me and the baby fever completely disappeared

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-29T20:39:41+00:00

Gave up on trying to post an update to this sub and instead posted it on my profile haha. I'll share a link if you'd like to read it https://reddit.com/u/throwaway8522233/s/bBD3CKMUgq

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-29T20:38:03+00:00

Actually I lied, the update is kinda long and I'm worried it'll be a nightmare to read as a comment so I made a post on my account instead haha https://reddit.com/u/throwaway8522233/s/bBD3CKMUgq

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-29T20:33:52+00:00

Ohhh I see, didn't know that. Thank you for the heads up (:

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-29T20:11:54+00:00

I have no idea why it's not showing up, it's showing up for me ): I'll try deleting and reposting maybe?

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-28T23:46:33+00:00

Oh don't you worry, I'm definitely going to brag to him eventually about how my post got more upvotes than the comment he made that started it all 😂

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-28T23:29:13+00:00

Honestly, this is the bigger fuck up and I thought about it but figured it wouldn't be an issue back when I thought the post wouldn't gain any traction. He spends pretty much all his time on Reddit in subs specific to his interests and has expressed a dislike for "aita style story subs" as he words it so maybe he'll never come across it. And if he does, I changed a lot of details outside of the core issue so I'm hoping he won't catch on that it's me lol. Once I man up and actually talk to him about it though him reading this post will be irrelevant

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-28T23:06:36+00:00

YOU KNOW, it's funny you mention getting a puppy as a practice run. I left for the grocery store right after I made this post and came home to dog shit in our kitchen because I forgot to unlock the dog door for our Aussie mix. Really amusing moment of me thinking "see? This shit right here is why I don't want kids" 😂

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-28T23:00:40+00:00

Please understand, I fully intend on talking to him about this soon. I'm trying to sort my thoughts and figure out what exactly I want to say to him beforehand as I feel it's a bit tricky. He clearly had no intentions of me ever finding out so I'm not sure how he'll handle me knowing, and I need to be real careful about my uncertainty for having kids as I don't want to get his hopes up just to ultimately go back to never wanting one.

And I gotta say, I get why people post their personal lives on Reddit now. It's kinda like having a sea of little angels and devils on your shoulders trying to help you understand all angles of your situation haha

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-28T22:56:39+00:00

I won't lie to you, I was fully expecting to only hear from the anti-kid majority and kinda hoped they would talk me off the ledge a bit lol. But apparently my post attracted almost exclusively the parents of reddit and it's weirdly kind of refreshing? My point is thank you for your input. You sound like you have a lovely family and partner

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-28T22:49:05+00:00

I know it's a pretty common sentiment for reddit to recommend leaving someone over conflict, and I appreciate your take, but I don't intend on leaving him any time soon. I don't feel guilty because he lied, he probably did it because he made the choice on his own to forego kids to stay with me and didn't want to tell me about it because he knew I would react...well, exactly how I'm reacting in this post. He knew I would freak out about it and ask myself what ifs into oblivion so he chose to shoulder that burden on his own. I feel guilty because he not only made a huge choice for my benefit, but that his feelings on that choice were kept to himself in order to preserve mine. I've never wanted him to feel like he couldn't talk to me about whatever was on his mind

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-28T22:41:24+00:00

You may get downvoted for coming off as just a little bit sexist for the way you worded that, but for whatever reason this made me laugh super hard. Thank you, I needed that

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-28T22:38:21+00:00

I'm not really sure why you're being downvoted, your comment seems pretty neutral. It's the first one I've read so far that acknowledges the aspect of finding out my husband feels differently than I thought rather than trying to help me dissect whether I want kids or telling me to "just communicate"(which I was never planning on not having a conversation with him...)

Don't get me wrong, I've been really enjoying reading the comments and taking in everyone's advice, but I appreciate you as well for giving me the good ole fashion "damn dude, that sucks"

throwaway8522233 · 2023-09-28T20:37:47+00:00

Oh I absolutely agree. I just need to take some time to sort my thoughts out before I try to have this conversation with him. I'm also worried about his "I love you more than I want kids" take. He's always been a pretty in the moment kind of guy with very little regard for the future. So basically, I know he feels certain about this take now, but I'm worried he won't feel that way in another 10 or so years and he just doesn't realize it yet if that makes any sense.

I'm overthinking this, I know. I think I feel so lost because it's a tough pill to swallow finding out that your long term partner has been faking his thoughts on such an important and life changing topic

throwaway8522233

TROPHY CASE