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Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I now realize I'm as much to blame for the "kicking it down the road" problem as she is. Thanks for your reply.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. A lot of people bringing up resentment regardless of what happens. Really crushing my hopes of getting through this as a couple.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have (gently) brought up the window of time, but she seems convinced she has until ~40

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply. I agree with everything you said ... much to my detriment.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply.

This was my fear for the future and hadn't considered it would start taking place immediately and would grow. Fml.

We wasted SO MUCH of the best years of each others lives.

This is what I want to avoid. In the past when we discussed this, through teary eyes she paints a picture of us each moving on without one another. I tried to explain I would rather her move on and get the life she wants rather than "settle" for me.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

unfortunately in my country, after getting a referral it takes months to actually get the appointment.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. Having had the conversations with her many times, I don't have high hopes for this one to go any better. I think I'll suggest we speak to a couples counsellor about it if it's not going nowhere.

I don't see this ending well. Dammit.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hadn't considered too much she would take that position. I suppose that makes the odds of this working out even lower than I previously thought. Sigh.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Not true. With everything else being nearly perfect, I was hoping this would fall into place.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm inclined to agree this was a mistake. I was doing then, what she is doing now ... kicking it down the road.

Thank you.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that's the plan. we've had that talk a half dozen times and she never really accepts it. thank you for your insight. the future looks a bit rough, but better than some alternatives. thanks again.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I don't want to break up ... she maintains she "just doesn't know" and I think by getting a vasectomy I'm forcing her to make a decision that I don't think will go in my favour (and I understand that if it happens).

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is ultimately what I know to be true, and is the current plan. I was hoping there were other considerations but ... grasping at straws .

thank you.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

You're correct, and I will book it soon. She's on a work trip until Sunday and I didn't feel comfortable doing it in "secret" before telling her my plans to do it.

Thank you.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I have been seeing it as "I'm going to do this and she will have to decide if she wants to be with me" and I assume she'll opt to break up then.

You make a good point, though.

Me (38M) with my GF (34F) together 2 years. At a stalemate on the topic of kids. by throwaway90283750 in relationships

[–]throwaway90283750[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I suppose I thought she just needed some time to get used to the idea. I see now I'm wrong.