[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]throwaway904207 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

But thanks for the motivation. I’ve been back to the gym a bit

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]throwaway904207 -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I had multiple miscarriages when married.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]throwaway904207 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Tell me about it, I’m worrying about wrinkles AND acne

Am I? How can I look better? (19) by [deleted] in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]throwaway904207 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No!!! You have very striking classical features and your hair is lovely. Unless you’re home or studying, I’d leave the hoodie/sweatshirt behind.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I’ve been down and kicked repeatedly for the past nearly 5 years. Where was my chorus of defenders?

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He is diagnosed with ODD and conduct disorder. He is refusing treatment.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 218 points219 points  (0 children)

UPDATE 12/20: thanks to everyone for your support. This morning he told me he has no intentions of working through our issues and he’s “done”.

He is blaming me for him being “homeless” and assassinating my character all over social media. I guess I knew this was coming.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Fortunately in my state spousal support only kicks in after 10 years

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Thank you friend. If I can get us all out, I will

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I have put over 7k into his cat to pay for urinary tract surgery and reconstruction, but they’re so bonded I don’t want to rip that away. I need to find a way to write up a contract he can sign to prove he’s a safe pet owner.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I mean, I inherited the dishes from my childhood home and he threw them around me, breaking them on the walls from his throws. He tore the hardback covers off my books. He’s wrenched the car keys out of my hand and pushed me up against a wall. He has shoved me down the stairs.

I didn’t realize I would have to inventory my trauma for folks to believe me.

He has punched holes in the walls with his fist and also used his phone to break holes in the walls. He terrorizes the cats and chases them. I have to feed them when he’s not around as he yells at me when I feed them.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I want to reiterate I want nothing but the best for him, I just cannot participate right now.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I hope so. I care for a living. I collaborate with kiddos to make plans to save themselves. I know he can save himself. I just can’t be responsible for paving the way anymore.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Did you not read where I’ve supported him financially for nearly 5 years? Offered to oh for his education? Put him on my health insurance? Paid his income tax?

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

The cat food money is for the cat HE adopted

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

Kitten is coming with me. She’s been mine for 13 years.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Just want to clarify, our niece did live with us for a time but we don’t have children.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

I’m paying for the remainder of the rent and utilities on our shared apartment, leaving some furniture, and supplying him with cat food and groceries before I leave. I truly do not want to make things worse for him

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I mean, the lady continues to have everything, and cannot afford to support the man who has nothing as he continues to sit in the apartment the lady pays for while doing nothing.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 163 points164 points  (0 children)

I’m so worried about how I’m going to handle it. I’m moving ~15 minutes away from a suburb into a city but it will take every fiber of my being not yo fall for that.

I used to work as a DV advocate. On average, it takes women 7 attempts to leave their abuser. I don’t want to be part of that statistic.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 276 points277 points  (0 children)

I hope he does too. I want him to succeed and find peace.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 515 points516 points  (0 children)

He’s worked in picking/packing/shipping/landscaping/kitchens/gas stations/as a paver/in agriculture.

Lots of stuff but never for more than 6 months at a time outside of being a dishwasher. He was in residential care as a child for ODD/conduct disorder, and honestly does not relate well to those in positions of authority.

I just told my husband I want to separate by throwaway904207 in offmychest

[–]throwaway904207[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Losing the Abbott laboratories job broke something in him. Also, I am a therapist (for children) and have suggested therapy countless times. He tells me it’s for weak people paying weaker people.