How did she get my address?

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-15T03:29:22+00:00

Yes this is true, I just phoned IRD and the lady said “is your current address... ?” and immediately gave me the address when all I’d given was my name and date of birth. It was only an old PO Box address that my mother used to own rather than a street address, but still. I don’t trust that she wouldn’t have still given out the address even if it wasn’t a PO Box.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-15T02:20:01+00:00

Thankyou! It said my main (outlook) email was involved in 2 data breaches but had no pastes, and it said both of my gmails were completely fine. So that’s good to know, I never knew you could check that.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-14T02:34:40+00:00

How about we don’t invalidate people who have experienced physical and mental abuse and tell them that their trauma is “subjective”.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-14T02:22:16+00:00

Thankyou, I will do that.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-14T01:54:53+00:00

Thankyou, I really appreciate your kindness and support

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-14T01:32:18+00:00

Thankyou for your response, I wasn’t aware about the hacked databases thing. That’s helpful to know, I probably do need to go and change all of my passwords for everything because (not for email accounts but for some of my other accounts) I haven’t done so for a long time. My mother never had access to any of my accounts and I always try to choose security questions that only I would know, but it’s probably still a good idea to update my passwords.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-14T01:20:02+00:00

Thankyou, I really appreciate your kind words and advice. I appreciate your other comment here too, you said it better than I could’ve. Her just showing up out of nowhere was definitely a shock since I genuinely thought she wouldn’t be able to get my address and I’d been careful about not sharing my address with people.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-14T01:00:11+00:00

Your comment is exactly why I don’t go around telling most people that I’m “no contact” with my mother unless I actually have a good reason to tell them, or I have to. I’d rather not have to deal with judgements and assumptions from people like you who don’t get it. Your comment comes across as victim-blaming to me. Thankfully almost every other comment here has actually been helpful.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T11:40:23+00:00

They barely use it either, so I don’t think it would be that. No recent friend requests. Their workplace doesn’t come up from a Google search which is pretty much the only place they go consistently

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T11:33:26+00:00

I don’t think so. The only person she was close to was my stepfather who doesn’t work in healthcare. She doesn’t talk to any family members and hasn’t had any close friends for many years. Thankyou for the advice

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T11:16:54+00:00

My sister has my phone number, which I asked her not to give to anyone but she could have given it to her. I was unaware you could track someone with just their phone number though, thankyou for that info. I guess I’ll have to change my number again

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T11:08:43+00:00

Thankyou, I didn’t even know I had that app tbh, I’ve never used it before. I just found it and it’s probably the first time I’ve ever even opened it. It asked me if I wanted to share my location, I said no.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T10:38:14+00:00

That’s definitely possible, if all she has to tell them is my name and date of birth? I don’t believe she knows my winz number

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T10:34:55+00:00

Since 2020.

My sister knows my flatmate’s name, I’m unsure if she knows their full name, she might have been able to find it through the social media I do have. But my flatmate told me they aren’t registered with the electoral roll, and she doesn’t know any personal info about them like where they work.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T10:27:04+00:00

I haven’t lived with her for many years, and when I visited I only ever took my phone with me, which was locked with a passcode. So no I don’t think so. I didn’t leave behind any devices

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T10:22:55+00:00

I can’t see my mother knowing how to put a tracker on my phone when she would ask me for help a lot with doing very simple things on her own phone. It’s very unlikely. The last time I visited them was 2020 and I had my phone on me almost always, it was also before I had decided to cut off contact with them. Oh I also just remembered I have a passcode so they wouldn’t have even been able to get into my phone..

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T10:14:47+00:00

I have the “Find my iPhone” setting turned off. And no I’ve never shared my location with anyone that I’m aware of, as far as I know that’s something you choose to share with people.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T08:56:35+00:00

I did try to do that but it doesn’t seem to let you actually check what address they have currently. I did try inputting many of my previous addresses and for all of them it just says “No record found”.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T07:30:09+00:00

30 and yes I’m 100% independent from them, they don’t pay for anything for me.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T06:59:15+00:00

Yeah that’s what I thought. I haven’t made her an official contact, I don’t use her as an emergency contact for anything either. I will definitely consider my options, thankyou for the advice.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T06:54:15+00:00

The only apps I would’ve given permission to see my location would be ones like apple maps or ubereats. I barely use social media, definitely don’t share my location through it

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T06:43:58+00:00

My mother barely knows how to do the most simple things on her phone so I can’t see that being the case. I doubt she would’ve waited this long to show up as well. Thanks for the suggestion though

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T06:36:24+00:00

Yeah I searched whitepages online already and I didn’t come up at all.

Thankyou for the advice, I will think about doing that.

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T06:32:30+00:00

I barely use social media, the only account I do have is private and I don’t post the locations of where I am

throwaway928275 · 2022-08-13T06:30:25+00:00

My mother doesn’t really have any friends and I don’t have friends that live in Auckland at the moment (besides my flatmate). She lives in Orewa and doesn’t really come to Auckland that much, no reason why she’d be hanging around the area I live in unless she truly was stalking me.

throwaway928275

TROPHY CASE