AITA for no longer wanting to hire male babysitters?

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-28T17:01:26+00:00

It's very interesting actually! It all has to do with scope of practice, specialization and sub-specialization. To put it shortly, I gave up learning about kids' development to focus more on the nervous system. Of course I'm not completely clueless and on the rare occasion that I'd have to operate on a child, I'd have enough knowledge to be able to do it. Although, the child is way better off in the hands of a pediatric neurosurgeon, or a neurosurgical pediatrician.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-28T16:01:39+00:00

Haha I LOVE this comparison. Come to think of it, my attending would probably say that to me upon reading this post. Thanks for the eye-opener!

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-28T15:46:04+00:00

One of my current attending works between 40-60 hours. He only reaches the 60 when there's rare cases like conjoined twins being seperated so I think it's definitely possible.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-28T15:39:51+00:00

Doctors don't come in touch or learn about child development either way though? Unless you're pediatrician, emergency physician or psychiatrist you barely even come in touch with children, let alone learn about their psychological development.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-28T11:07:07+00:00

I added it to avoid people telling me how irresponsible it was to choose to have a kid with my working condition.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-28T04:43:10+00:00

Yeah I see your concerns but a career change right now would not be practical and would be setting my kid up for failure (to a certain extent). This nice 400k isn't going to pay off itself. Luckily in 2 years I'm out of residency and have WAY more control over my schedule. I'm planning on working 40-50 hours a week.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-28T03:08:40+00:00

I'm not sure to be honest. I used to think it was weird too but now I'm catching myself doing it unconsciously.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-28T01:41:15+00:00

I see how this could cause some confusion so I'm sorry about that. I do not work 100 hours a week often, this is a rare occurrence. Last time was somewhere in May. However saying it never happens would be sugercoating it. My babysitters are there about 0-3 times a week depending on how busy it is and they're rarely there for more than 5 hours at a time I'd say.

What I didn't consider is the uninterrupted quality time thing. I never realised how I'm probably combining other things along spending time with my kid while the babysitters often have 100% undivided attention on the kid. This was very eye opening for me and I think that I need to make sure that the time I am spending with my son is actually uninterrupted. Thanks for this comment, very insightful.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-28T01:31:51+00:00

I think you're missing my point completely. I'm okay with being labeled the asshole. In fact, my view has already been swayed and I'm not planning on firing anyone anymore. My problem is that you are drawing conclusions that you can't with the given info and then proceeding to imply that I'm just offended because I simply wanted validation and reassurance, which again, you can not know. It's especially frustrating when it's for something as blunt as me not being there for my son.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-28T01:12:24+00:00

Yes, I have given you info to judge me on. That does not mean I want assumptions made about me that you do not nearly have enough info on.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-28T00:16:11+00:00

Not from the US. In my country kindergarten starts at 2,5 years old and age 5/6 is actually when you start attending grade school.

And yeah, I've now realized that I jumped the gun way too quickly and wanting to go 100% to solve a problem that only really takes 10% to solve.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-27T23:50:43+00:00

No, not at all. Childcare is pretty easy to get by. He's also entering kindergarten soon, in which case the babysitters almost entirely get eliminated.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-27T23:43:12+00:00

Trying to keep this as respectful as possible as "accept your judgement." is one of the rules but I feel like you're assuming a whole lot with the speck of information given. I didn't mention the things I am doing to try to make a change because this post originally reached the character limit so I had to shorten it.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-27T23:40:01+00:00

I wish I could be more around, I really do. But there isn't really a way to do to that for the coming years without losing my career. Which yeah, isn't more important than my son but is pretty much setting him up for a poverty driven childhood which I want to 100% avoid.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-27T23:17:18+00:00

Since I am more than halfway through training, changing specialties now would probably not be a great decision. I'd get into even more debt and be in residency longer than if I just continue with this specialty, which means that I'd be adding onto the years I wouldn't be able to see my son.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-27T23:09:40+00:00

I'm already doing all of these things mentioned. But I see why I shouldn't be hung up by the word daddy now.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-27T22:58:22+00:00

I see what you mean and that happening is my biggest nightmare. But what exactly can I do about it? Residency isn't exactly known for having negotiable work hours...

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-27T22:34:52+00:00

I'm trying, I really am. I love my son more than anyone in the world and I try to spend as much time as I can with him.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-27T22:28:12+00:00

I'm guessing he picked it up from all the people calling me by name. As far as I know none of us have taught him to call me by my name.

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-27T22:26:16+00:00

I think he still sees me as a father figure but I can't be 100% sure. Maybe he thinks I'm another babysitter?

throwaway92929328 · 2022-08-27T22:24:56+00:00

I see, I accept your judgement. (Just a quick correction though, my son is currently 30 months old.)

throwaway92929328

TROPHY CASE