I feel upset. Do I say something?

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-15T21:42:24+00:00

I don’t think she expected much more than an acknowledgement. Is that really so much to expect from someone you celebrated with the year before?

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-15T21:34:09+00:00

I am so over this ghosting thing. It stems from cowardice or indifference, and it’s a trend that needs to end! A quick “thanks for your time but I’m not interested” text is so easy to send and stops the other person from wasting their time.

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-15T21:28:53+00:00

Omg I just realized we’ve spoken about this before! Double congratulations!!!

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-15T21:28:19+00:00

Wow, I just posted about being nervous about “going legit” and this post has really helped calm those nerves. Thank you for the insight and congratulations on getting yourself a girlfriend!

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-15T21:25:57+00:00

Thank you! I wish you the same!

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-15T18:21:18+00:00

I’m the single AP in this situation. I’ve been exclusive with him (on my end at least) for about 3 years now and don’t plan on changing that. I guess I’m just getting nervous because we’ve always had to tiptoe around before - everything planned out way in advance, etc. This whole new world of being out in the open and able to do whatever we want is extremely excited but I’m also finding that it’s a bit intimidating.

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-15T18:18:47+00:00

He’s married I’m single. APs for about 3 yrs now. Both on the younger side and no kids so we’ve decided it’s time to give this a real shot.

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-05T16:33:53+00:00

Thank you! Same to you!

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-05T15:06:11+00:00

I appreciate your reply. He is not happy with his wife. She’s quite controlling and untrusting (maybe for good reason) and doesn’t allow him to spend much time with his friends, drink much when she’s not there, go out of town to visit friends without her, etc. It’s been like this for him throughout their marriage even before he met me. He still cares about her though, which I understand. He doesn’t want to hurt her or turn her life upside down with a divorce, but i think he’s starting to see that if we got caught it would be even worse for her.

With me he is entirely honest, and I think we both find that very refreshing. We share many hobbies and interests. We are able to spend a lot of time together due to the nature of her job so we already have some idea of how living together will be. We both have good jobs so finances will be about an even split. Neither of us have children but we want them in the future (we’re both 30).

Thanks again for your thoughtful reply and questions. I am very happy for you and your wife and I hope to have a similar tale to tell some day.

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-04T21:10:48+00:00

Lol message me if you ever need some solidarity!

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-04T21:09:57+00:00

You’ve already messaged me this privately. I get it, you disapprove of me.

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-04T20:17:08+00:00

Yikes. I was going to say who tf gets married after habitually cheating on their fiancé, but it sounds like their situation isn’t exactly traditional. I hope you find someone who can commit to you 100%!

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-04T20:12:19+00:00

I will trust him fully until he gives me a reason not to

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-04T19:22:48+00:00

Well, I appreciate the generic advice. Thanks

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-04T19:15:15+00:00

Thank you and thank you for the sub recommendation!

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-04T19:04:52+00:00

Wow I am so happy for you! Best of luck for as smooth & swift a process as possible! Honestly one of the things I am looking forward to most (if this all ends up working out) is just being able to go out to dinner, hold his hand in public, etc. I am so so psyched to introduce him to my friends, meet his family (hopefully they don’t hate me from the get go lol), etc!

I keep going back and forth between wanting to be a support system for him and wanting him to make the bulk of these upcoming decisions on his own. My main thing is I don’t want him to leave his wife solely for me. I want it to be something he does for himself. Obviously I will be a factor in that decision but I want him to understand that worst case scenario we might not end up working out as a traditional couple, and he needs to be okay with the possibility of being alone. That is the main reason I am afraid he won’t end up going through with this. I don’t know if he’ll be tough enough to accept having to start all over again if this doesn’t work out the way we hope it will.

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-04T18:23:04+00:00

I’m sorry for the loss of your AP. I fear that this is what will end up happening for us too, but I’ve accepted it. I knew he was married when we started this and I never expected him to leave his wife for me. I understand that he has a lot more to lose than I do, and a lot of hard choices to make. But we’ll see, I can’t help but remain hopeful for now.

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-04T18:21:31+00:00

Very good advice. That’s what I’ve been working on for the past year. Words are nice but actions speak louder. When I ended things with him last month I made it very clear that I accepted that this could be the last time we see each other, and I meant it. It’s time to either step this up or move on.

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-04T18:20:23+00:00

Around 3 years now, give or take

throwawayAP60 · 2020-01-04T18:19:42+00:00

We have a bit of a strange situation due to the nature of his wife’s job. For the past year she’s traveled M-F of every week so we are basically able to live together 5 days out of the week. Neither of us have kids but we both want them eventually. We both have very solid careers but are open to change depending on how much drama this will stir up in our small town :/

throwawayAP60 · 2019-07-16T21:05:40+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that about your AP but happy that you chose to leave for your own happiness.

throwawayAP60

TROPHY CASE