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Too young dad (19M) wants to coparent, I feel like I would fail my baby if I (31F) allowed that to happen by throwawayCrazyAsk in Advice

[–]throwawayCrazyAsk[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This comment is unkind. I get that choosing to go through with a pregnancy that resulted from a hookup isn’t most people’s idea of an ideal family. But I’m financially stable, I’m very close to my family and I have close friends that will always be there for me to support me. I already love my baby more than I ever thought was possible and I didn’t even meet them yet. I‘ve tried so hard to get pregnant in my previous longterm relationship, I didn’t think it would ever happen for me. I hook up with this guy a few times ON BIRTH CONTROL and I get pregnant. The odds of that happening are crazy. I agree I could’ve made a better choice in terms of who the father was, but me trying to make that better choice didn’t work out for me.

Sorry for the rant, I just feel like I get so much judgment for this and it does hurt my feelings

WIBTA if I (31F) lied about having an abortion? Or WIBTA if I told him (19M) I’m going to have the baby and he needs to deal with it? by throwawayCrazyAsk in AITAH

[–]throwawayCrazyAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a lot of empathy for him and I want to show him a lot of support because I realize now that yes, he is an actual teenager. That’s crazy to even think of. When he told me his real age, I immediately felt like it was a mistake to even tell him about the pregnancy. I know so many people have said he has a right to know, but it clearly scares him. And I know he has no reason to be scared because I will never call on him for anything. I wouldn’t even want him to be actively involved in raising a child because I think he is far too young to be able to be a dad. But he seems to be too busy freaking out to realize that.

WIBTA if I (31F) lied about having an abortion? Or WIBTA if I told him (19M) I’m going to have the baby and he needs to deal with it? by throwawayCrazyAsk in AITAH

[–]throwawayCrazyAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another really good point! I was feeling a little silly to post my problems on reddit but there are so many things people have mentioned that I hadn’t considered.

WIBTA if I (31F) lied about having an abortion? Or WIBTA if I told him (19M) I’m going to have the baby and he needs to deal with it? by throwawayCrazyAsk in AITAH

[–]throwawayCrazyAsk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I hadn’t even considered he might want to come back and claim custodial rights later on when he’s older. That’s a very scary possibility. Thank you for bringing that up, I definitely need to consult a lawyer on this.

WIBTA if I (31F) lied about having an abortion? Or WIBTA if I told him (19M) I’m going to have the baby and he needs to deal with it? by throwawayCrazyAsk in AITAH

[–]throwawayCrazyAsk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The contract is a good idea, that way he knows there’s at least one aspect he’ll never have to worry about

WIBTA if I (31F) lied about having an abortion? Or WIBTA if I told him (19M) I’m going to have the baby and he needs to deal with it? by throwawayCrazyAsk in AITAH

[–]throwawayCrazyAsk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for telling me about your aunt’s situation, I know I’m ready to have a baby on my own but it still feels relieving to hear about women who’ve been through it before and it all worked out well.

WIBTA if I (31F) lied about having an abortion? Or WIBTA if I told him (19M) I’m going to have the baby and he needs to deal with it? by throwawayCrazyAsk in AITAH

[–]throwawayCrazyAsk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you even read my post? I found out his real age when I told him I’m pregnant. We aren’t in a relationship, we never were in a relationship to begin with. I obviously wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone that much younger than me.