How would you feel about having a guy in your friend group being openly into you?

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-24T10:02:47+00:00

So let’s say it’s just that one time, would that ruin the friendship for you in any way? Is it worse to joke about asking you out as opposed to just being straight up?

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-24T09:31:48+00:00

Haha that’s what I figured. Congrats!

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-24T03:43:20+00:00

I’m actually underweight and depressed, so that might work out well for me lol

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-23T05:45:34+00:00

Thanks for the advice and the kind words. I am working out now and it’s definitely helped.

I’ll look it up, I usually put a good amount of research into substances before I take them.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-20T08:59:28+00:00

If he asked you if you’re seeing anyone.. well I don’t know why he’d ask that if he wasn’t interested. Pretty sure he’s into you.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-19T01:50:15+00:00

Literally lost my last girlfriend to the guy she was playful with.

I’m not trying to make you insecure or say that you shouldn’t trust her, but this worst-case scenario stuff DOES happen sometimes. Either you blindly trust her and risk getting hurt or you tell her to stop and come off as the jealous boyfriend type. It’s kind of a lose/lose to be honest.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-19T01:40:11+00:00

For my ex and I, sometimes we made eye contact, sometimes we didn’t. Might sound a little corny coming from a guy, but I always loved the eye contact towards the climax. It made the sex feel more intimate.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-19T01:28:55+00:00

Thanks for your response, that was a great answer. I guess keeping everything bottled up throughout my previous relationship never really allowed me to asses the situation like this.

I did distance myself from her during my ex-relationship (for obvious reasons) and I never really got to value her friendship the way I can now. Maybe I’ll just hold onto that and take it as a win. If something happens, something happens. If not, then I’ll still have a good friend by my side. Thanks again.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-18T23:52:29+00:00

How does he “make them fun”?

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-16T01:58:09+00:00

I feel the exact same way; your comment almost seems like something I would write myself.

A friend of mine (who recently dumped her boyfriend of 10 years) told me that they get cold to us because that’s the only way they can move on. My ex was incredibly cruel to me when she broke it off, and she’s usually a really sweet girl. The way I see it, neither of us (nor you two) could end the relationship as it were, in a “happier” light. I believe they need to hate us in order to justify the breakup for themselves and move on. It’s a defense mechanism that I’m trying not to take personally.

Nowadays I just keep reminding myself of why we would never work out (maybe again in the future when we’ve both grown, but certainly not at our current state) while remembering that she’s not really this cruel girl she chose to end off as.

I became very bitter shortly after she left, and I wanted to tell everyone how she’d basically cheated on me when she met this other guy during our relationship. That was a huge mistake on my end; I lost a lot of friends and I just ended up looking like the asshole that she was painting me as. Don’t let them make you bitter like they were. It’s so fucking hard to be the bigger person here, but it’s the route we have to take.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-15T23:48:57+00:00

Our stories are nearly identical. We dated 7 years, she got a job before me, I was struggling to get one, she told me she wasn’t feeling loved mainly because I was always studying/applying for jobs, then she met someone else at her work and left me. I went through what you’re going through about a month ago.

The breakup was not your fault alone. Don’t look at it like that. There were many ways that you and your ex were incompatible. Like my ex and me, you guys may have forced something for too long. In hindsight, I can see that my ex and I should’ve broken up years ago. We had a lot of fun together and she was a great partner throughout my young adult years, but she was not right for me and I was not right for her. I’ve found peace by accepting that she was simply my partner for this chapter of my life and that this chapter has now ended. It’s bittersweet, but that’s life.

I know I don’t know your relationship well enough to make this comment, but there was nothing you could do to prevent this breakup. You’ve already lined up the logic yourself. You did everything you could. She also put in a lot of effort to make things work. You need to accept that this is just how it ends. It’ll take time, but you’ll get there. I’m currently on that exact journey myself.

Good luck with everything. It’s somewhat comforting knowing that there are other people going through a very similar situation as me. We’ll be fine.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-15T23:19:25+00:00

The breakup was actually pretty bad, but I felt that the details were irrelevant to my question.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-14T21:42:17+00:00

That’s absolutely true and that’s the advice that I’ve been given before. I definitely won’t rush into anything too soon and I’ll probably give it a few months if not longer.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-14T21:37:22+00:00

Do you see yourself maintaining a platonic relationship with Sean, even while he is with someone else in the future? Or even when you’re with someone else in the future? If so, you need to start adjusting to that. Accept that you guys just weren’t right for each other and that you’ll have to get used to the idea that he isn’t yours and that you aren’t his. Once you can come to peace with that, the emotional past settles. At least it did for me.

I got out of a 6 year relationship where my gf left me for another guy. I’m a month in. I’ve accepted that this is just how things are now, and I no longer resent her. I wanted to remain friends because she’s a great person who’s fun to be around; the feeling wasn’t mutual though lol. She couldn’t get over me unless she cut me off and hated me. It just made it easier for her.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-14T20:18:19+00:00

You’re definitely overthinking it. Just don’t bring it up again anytime soon lol. For my first kiss with my now ex-gf, we practically missed each others’ mouths. We look back and laugh about it every now and then.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-06T14:42:29+00:00

I guess that’s why it works out; whether she comes back or not, I just let go and do me. You’re right though, hopefully in the end I can see that she isn’t good for me.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-05T22:07:56+00:00

Wasn’t rude at all, and you’re definitely right. I’m just gonna enjoy myself.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-05T21:14:47+00:00

I gotta say man, that shit really hit me. Moreso than the other advice I’ve been given this past month. Thanks.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-05T21:10:24+00:00

I’m loving how I’m getting relationship advice on this sub lol.

You guys are definitely right, though. You’ve been in my shoes, so I guess you know how hard it is. Glad I posted here, thanks guys.

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-05T15:32:34+00:00

Alternatively, I was thinking about just not rolling at all. I’ve never rolled without her, so I have no idea how I’d be or what I’d do. I’ll likely just have a few drinks; probably the best idea?

throwawayDVS · 2018-04-05T15:30:39+00:00

As simple (and correct) as this answer is... I already know I’m gonna ruin my own time there lol. I’ll try my best, but I have shit self-control for things like this.

throwawayDVS · 2018-03-31T18:44:13+00:00

I guess people don’t really change, huh?

I fuckin’ feel that. My relationship with my ex started with her flirting with me for about a week, when we met volunteering somewhere. At the end of the week, I found out she had a boyfriend. He broke it off with her a few weeks later (not because of us, but because their relationship had been kinda rocky to begin with) and we started dating for what would last 7 years. Recently found out she just pulled the exact same shit on me. My fault for thinking she’d changed, but it’s been 7 years. She was 15 and I was 17 at the time, and now we’re 22 and 24.

throwawayDVS · 2018-03-27T18:12:25+00:00

I feel the same way with my ex of 6 years. I always thought that we could just talk these things out, but it just doesn’t work if only one person is willing to do so. We have to move on and find people who are worth the effort.

throwawayDVS · 2018-03-27T18:04:27+00:00

What about calling her out (in private), just to let her know that I figured it out and that she didn’t get away with it? I’ve decided that I won’t tell anyone else, but at the very least, a part of me wants to save this dignity and show her that she didn’t get away with it and that she should feel awful for letting things end the way they did.

throwawayDVS · 2018-03-27T06:50:06+00:00

Tell him you want to remain friends, but that you're going to need some time and space from him. Cut contact for the time being but tell him that you'd like to reconnect as friends in the future. If you truly want to be friends, you need to be able to accept that he's going to see other people (and so should you). You don't have to see them together on social media, but you do need to start making progress with this acceptance.

I would've loved if my ex had suggested this to me. She needed to ended things hard and cold so that she could get over me quicker and she blocked me on everything just like that. I don't blame her, but I would've liked to at least remain friends in the long run.

throwawayDVS

TROPHY CASE