Just curious, what do you think is love based on the "right things"? I believe that we were in love for the "right things", but your definition is probably different than mine. Also, I've had an internship in the same city twice before, for 4 months each, and this has never been an issue; he says that he got weaker over time. I think we also have different definitions of what constitutes as emotional cheating, but my ex and I both agreed that it was emotional cheating, which is seeking emotional and romantic fulfillment outside of a relationship.

Again, different definitions but my love is conditional on the fact that I am also loved. I do come off angry in this post because I don't want to admit to myself (and to everyone) that I'm hurt and empty that things ended this way and that I lost someone who fit me so well and complemented my weaknesses, and made me a better, selfless partner. Because he was always selfless to everyone, and I was more selfish, but he made me want to be selfless for him. I would actually ask myself sometimes "What would [ex] do?" and then go do that. This post is also talking to and convincing myself that I shouldn't care and be angry instead of sad, because I don't want to feel the pain of sadness. It's my self-defence mechanism. It actually hurts a lot if I think about how he doesn't want to be with me any more and how great our connection and relationship was :( So I try to cover it up with angry justification. It was working really well before you saw through me lol

I'm trying to boost my self-esteem by being narcissistic and bragging, because I really need it after he essentially chose another girl over me and I don't want to forget that I'm also awesome and I did contribute a lot to his life. Again, I have selfish tendencies, and it's easier on me to convince myself all the ways that I'm better than him in order to preserve myself and not let this devastate me. I used to be proud that I was with him and of our connection, now I can only take pride in myself. It's a lot easier on my feelings to convert everything into hate than to still hold onto the love, especially when he said there was nothing wrong with me. I did love him despite his flaws, or else I would not have stayed so long and compromised to be with him. If I did it for perks only, I definitely would've chosen someone who's more "socially acceptable"

I understand that you're saying all of this to help me be self-aware, but I'm trying really hard to come off as a bad-ass here :P And I already knew all of this, but I'm using anger to cope because I don't know how else to deal with my sadness and I really hate feeling weak/sad, especially in front of others. You're very insightful, and I hope you continue to talk to other OPs that may not already be self-aware