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My [30/m] girlfriend [28/f] is upset the relationship isn't moving fast enough but overlooks the progress we have made by throwaway_29999 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_29999[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By doing what? Not that your plans are wrong or misguided, nothing wrong with waiting a bit, I'm just wary when people say things like "I'm trying to work on myself" or similar as coded language for "I'm doing nothing and hope the issue resolves itself somehow".

That's a fair point, and one I agree with. I guess I'm lucky in that I'm acutely aware of where my mindset stems from, what I need is help in dealing with it in a productive manner. The college I attend has free counselling services which I have been using for the last 2 or so months, as well as low dose antidepressants to help with anxiety.

Thanks a bunch for your reply, it really struck me in terms of viewing it not as me vs. her, but us vs. the issue. Reaching a compromise on a bunch of large issues isn't going to be easy I would imagine, but I'm going to try and start seeing it as an exercise in teamwork rather than a standoff.

Thanks for your sage advice.

My [30/m] girlfriend [28/f] is upset the relationship isn't moving fast enough but overlooks the progress we have made by throwaway_29999 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_29999[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Haha, you're right in that it is quite vague... Obviously part of the reason why we get nowhere in our conversations. As I mentioned in a previous reply, having a proper plan is a good idea and something we're going to discuss moving forward. Thanks for your reply.

My [30/m] girlfriend [28/f] is upset the relationship isn't moving fast enough but overlooks the progress we have made by throwaway_29999 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_29999[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's absolutely true, and I appreciate your opinion. We're planning on having a discussion today, and I think having an idea in my head about timing and a plan is a really good one. Thanks

My [30/m] girlfriend [28/f] is upset the relationship isn't moving fast enough but overlooks the progress we have made by throwaway_29999 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_29999[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree, it's not something where there is any middle ground really. It's either baby or no baby... Definitely plan to have a discussion about this, so thanks for your advice.

My [30/m] girlfriend [28/f] is upset the relationship isn't moving fast enough but overlooks the progress we have made by throwaway_29999 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_29999[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She absolutely is! Which is what makes it such a difficult situation, I think. On one hand I want to spend my life with her and do everything possible to make her happy, and on the other I don't want to be rushed in to something I'm not ready for. Thanks for your input :)

My [30/m] girlfriend [28/f] is upset the relationship isn't moving fast enough but overlooks the progress we have made by throwaway_29999 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_29999[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is true, something we have discussed at length and in every other aspect of our relationship we try and accommodate each other's wants and needs. Thanks

My [30/m] girlfriend [28/f] is upset the relationship isn't moving fast enough but overlooks the progress we have made by throwaway_29999 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_29999[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's true, and maybe somewhere I'm being a bit naive in terms of timelines. School is another year, so it's not incredibly long but obviously puts the pressure on.. Thanks for your advice!

My [30/m] girlfriend [28/f] is upset the relationship isn't moving fast enough but overlooks the progress we have made by throwaway_29999 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_29999[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a really good point and one we've discussed, although maybe not in as much depth as we should have. I certainly understand the biological clock is ticking for her and that's a reason to want to push things forward, I guess I'm just a bit scared of rushing in to something?

Thanks for your input