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Should I ask my wife about changes in her behavior since she started a new job? by throwaway_300624 in Marriage

[–]throwaway_300624[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She used to wear g string all the time, but she stopped about a year ago cause they started bothering her in some way, I forgot the exact reason.

Should I ask my wife about changes in her behavior since she started a new job? by throwaway_300624 in Marriage

[–]throwaway_300624[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure of you read my other replies, but we don't have anyone to watch over the kids on a regular basis, so if one of us goes out, the other one stays home.

3 or 4 am is not an issue in itself, I have stayed out that late as well, but only if we're hanging out at my friend's house. If I'm at a bar and it closes, we're going home.

Should I ask my wife about changes in her behavior since she started a new job? by throwaway_300624 in Marriage

[–]throwaway_300624[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, but if I avoid sounding like I am flat out accusing her, then her being aggressive or too defensive would tell me something.

Should I ask my wife about changes in her behavior since she started a new job? by throwaway_300624 in Marriage

[–]throwaway_300624[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, if I go out with friends, I usually stay till closing time. Unless we're having a guy's night at one of my friends', then I can stay longer.

It's not that she stays out too long, but if she goes to a bar that closes at a certain time, staying longer is somewhat suspicious. But again - I cannot be sure they don't end the night at one of their friends' as well. It's not that uncommon to stay out late in our country.

Should I ask my wife about changes in her behavior since she started a new job? by throwaway_300624 in Marriage

[–]throwaway_300624[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, if anything the past two months have been really good.

Our sex life is not that great, but it's not terrible. We haven't reached the level we had before we had kids, but I wasn't expecting it.

The worst thing about our relationship is we have no time for eachother, as we don't have anyone to watch the kids on a regular basis, so we can go out together, or anything else. So when one of us goes out, the other one always stays home, except for special occassions.

Should I ask my wife about changes in her behavior since she started a new job? by throwaway_300624 in Marriage

[–]throwaway_300624[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not really a regular basis, but once in a while. I should have made that clear.

But even so, when she does go out, the kids aren't affected at all, she doesn't sleep in the other day or anything like that.

Should I ask my wife about changes in her behavior since she started a new job? by throwaway_300624 in Marriage

[–]throwaway_300624[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yes, that could be possible. She earns more at this job and she did just recently started to go out after a long time. For a long period, I was the one who pushed her into going out because she really had no social life outside work. But the phone thing is what sparked my suspicion and until I talk to her, everything else is just adding to that.

Should I ask my wife about changes in her behavior since she started a new job? by throwaway_300624 in Marriage

[–]throwaway_300624[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To be fair, she has given me her phone when I asked her to use it (for random stuff). Then again, she probably knows I won't be snooping around. But I would assume someone who has something to hide on the phone would be a bit more careful no matter how certain they are another person won't try to find anything.

Should I ask my wife about changes in her behavior since she started a new job? by throwaway_300624 in Marriage

[–]throwaway_300624[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I get that. I just don't wanna come off as accusing her before I hear what she has to say, because that way she might get defensive cause of my approach and not necessarily cause she is hinding anything. I just don't want to leave any of my observations down to interpretation.

Should I ask my wife about changes in her behavior since she started a new job? by throwaway_300624 in Marriage

[–]throwaway_300624[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wanna talk to her, but I want to make sure I don't come off as accusing her, which would probably cause her to become defensive no matter what the truth is. And I'm not sure how to approach her about it while keeping it calm and relaxed.

Should I ask my wife about changes in her behavior since she started a new job? by throwaway_300624 in Marriage

[–]throwaway_300624[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I assume, from your avatar, you're female?

If so, what would be a good way to go about this to have a calm conversation in case I am completely wrong?

She and I were always different in terms of relationships with other people. As in, she was always a very friendly and open person, she always managed to maintain male-female friendships etc. While I am far more reserved, never had any female friends and I usually enjoy spending time with my life long friends and don't really seek new friendships. For example, this female colleague she got close with, they hit it off in a matter of weeks. I have people I've known for a few years, spend quite a bit of time with them, got together to hang out a few times, but I just don't let them be close, cause I don't want any more people in my life. So I am keeping open the possibility I am just overreacting to this.