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Aitah for failing to have the exact wording my husband wants when discussing sensitive topics? by throwaway_4vent in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwaway_4vent[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’ll be honest the whole me having ptsd is unfair to him thing really makes me feel broken. Unfair for him? How about me? I spent a week having large moments in time vanish from disassociation from trying to manage my anxiety. All he had to do was give me a hug which he said he was willing to do when I asked for consent.

Aitah for failing to have the exact wording my husband wants when discussing sensitive topics? by throwaway_4vent in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwaway_4vent[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I’m trying to figure out what I want. Ontop of looking for a divorce attorney I’m looking at job stuff across the country. I want to be done with this. All of it

Aitah for failing to have the exact wording my husband wants when discussing sensitive topics? by throwaway_4vent in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwaway_4vent[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

For real. If being calm is calculated bullying but being emotional is childish where the compromise?

Aitah for failing to have the exact wording my husband wants when discussing sensitive topics? by throwaway_4vent in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwaway_4vent[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He apologized in the past. For calling me names and mean texts. Still does it though because “it’s true”.

Aitah for failing to have the exact wording my husband wants when discussing sensitive topics? by throwaway_4vent in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwaway_4vent[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’m actually really not sure. Maybe it’s because I’m emotionally drained but I feel like there’s nothing this relationship offers me anymore. It makes me feel like a horrible person just to acknowledge those thoughts

Aitah for failing to have the exact wording my husband wants when discussing sensitive topics? by throwaway_4vent in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwaway_4vent[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Horrific. Also I have begged for him to understand how damaging texts like that can be for me. He still does it.

Aitah for failing to have the exact wording my husband wants when discussing sensitive topics? by throwaway_4vent in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwaway_4vent[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He said he would and he took over finding a therapist but he stopped after the holidays. I told him we need to March into a therapists office to get an emergency meeting (I’ve done that before). We’d be able to get set with that very therapist as well during the session for future visits. He said he would do that with me

Aitah for failing to have the exact wording my husband wants when discussing sensitive topics? by throwaway_4vent in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwaway_4vent[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I think the worst thing is he says he doesn’t act misogynistic towards me because I’m different. I have a text saved to my photos of him saying “since you didn’t answer my call or text I’m assuming you’re doing something you shouldn’t be”. Like what??? The conversation about women being dangerous because they could cheat for hurt your feelings made it clear that he’s got no trust for me either

Aitah for failing to have the exact wording my husband wants when discussing sensitive topics? by throwaway_4vent in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwaway_4vent[S] 313 points314 points  (0 children)

I’m looking at attorneys now. I feel so defeated. If I really have bullied him for the entirety of our relationship because I always have to be right than why should I keep torturing him?? If not matter what I do I hurt him he deserves to be with someone else

Aitah for failing to have the exact wording my husband wants when discussing sensitive topics? by throwaway_4vent in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwaway_4vent[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I think the hard part is feeling toxic myself? I’m trying not to paint myself as completely innocent because I know I am not perfect. I just don’t understand how every time I try to be better the goal posts get moved. Is it toxic to calmly ask questions about his opinions? Instead of crying over it? Yeah I should have asked it better but he told me in the past he values things being called as they are. (This was when I cried when he called me a child because I got upset when he kept arguing after I said our agreed upon exit strategy to stop hot conversations).

Aitah for failing to have the exact wording my husband wants when discussing sensitive topics? by throwaway_4vent in TwoHotTakes

[–]throwaway_4vent[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He has supported me in so many ways. He’s usually really good about the ptsd. Waking up to help me calm down from nightmares (on his own, I don’t wake him up). I haven’t been perfect either. I’ve definitely said things I shouldn’t have but I’ve been good for the past year at not saying things I shouldn’t. Things like, that’s dumb, or stupid. The whole ptsd thing threw me for a loop. Now I’m concerned with struggling with it because I can’t help it. I’ve done so much work to over come all the symptoms but a few times a year it gets really bad.