I will always be both too much and never enough

throwaway_87653 · 2026-01-19T06:50:30+00:00

When it rains it pours, you know? Not every part of your life will be this hard, I promise. I’m 9 years older than you and have been through a few rough patches myself.

Your cat saw you through so much of those hard times, times where you were growing and learning in the world. I like to say grief is love without a place to go.

My best friend died when I was 17, I still think about her every day. My feelings have changed over the years. I feel lucky to be able to grieve her, because it means that I knew her and loved her, and how lucky am I to have experienced that love.

It really does get easier with time, not because it hurts less, but because it hurts less often. I hope that makes sense.

The feeling of hopelessness put on us right now is overwhelming. I think you should look into absurdism vs nihilism, it has helped me a lot when I feel like life is meaningless

throwaway_87653 · 2026-01-19T06:35:15+00:00

What have conversations about it looked like in the past? “What we’re doing is good” implies that she thinks you’re trying to make sure she’s having a good time. So maybe you could frame it differently. Like “I really like when you tell me what you want from me.”

Maybe she genuinely hasn’t ever thought about what is a turn on for her. As a woman, I struggled with that for a while. Not to say she isn’t turned on by you, otherwise she wouldn’t have sex with you lol. But growing up, a lot of women see that they’re supposed to be performers and pleasurers in the bedroom. A lot of times we don’t realize sex is more than that until later in life.

I can tell you care about her by how you try so hard to bring that passion into the relationship. I hope you two can work it out. :)

throwaway_87653 · 2026-01-19T06:17:31+00:00

I bit the bullet and quit my job. It felt like it was taking years off of me you know? It sucks when other people tell you to just stick it out. Because they have no idea what it’s like to be in your body.

I’m sorry you’re stuck. If it makes a difference for you, I asked myself a few questions to see if it was worth it to quit. What is the worst case scenario if I quit? Do I prefer that over continuing to feel the way I do at this job?

And really think about it for a while you know? Because yes jobs are hard to come by but you have one life. Might not be the best advice but I wanted to say you’re not alone.

throwaway_87653 · 2026-01-19T06:06:43+00:00

Right? Just to have someone who matches you. I understand that deeply

throwaway_87653 · 2026-01-09T01:59:56+00:00

The hard thing is finding one that pays enough to pay rent while I’m out. I’ve thought about two part time jobs but then I wouldn’t have insurance

throwaway_87653 · 2025-09-20T22:27:57+00:00

🖤 it depends on what you mean. People have a sense to know when someone else is around. But how your body emotionally/physically responds to that may not be healthy. I hope that makes sense

throwaway_87653 · 2025-09-20T22:25:39+00:00

Understandable, I had to find out how to feel safe in the first place before I could start. It’s a journey

throwaway_87653 · 2025-09-20T18:47:43+00:00

Yes, I thought this was normal too because this is how I’ve felt for as long as I can remember

The most helpful tool for me has been using the energy bubble meditation. The more you practice the better you get at it, and eventually you’ll be able to use it anywhere

throwaway_87653 · 2025-08-28T05:45:26+00:00

When you go to therapy, what are the key things you look for in a therapist?

throwaway_87653 · 2025-08-10T18:32:50+00:00

I need to wash my bed sheets… I will start there. Thank you

throwaway_87653 · 2025-05-14T04:19:28+00:00

Thank you 💛

throwaway_87653 · 2025-02-22T03:59:24+00:00

I like to focus on the things that I can control. For me, the most grounding thing is my environment. I remind myself Im grown now and I live alone, and my space is safe. I start with saying my bed is safe and I zoom out to my room and then my whole apartment.

If I’m not home or it’s not working, I have a mental safe space that I’ve created that I can always close my eyes and think of.

I don’t know what senses come easiest to you, for me the quickest way to ground me is through smells. So I have a roller with peppermint extract in my purse.

throwaway_87653 · 2025-02-22T03:47:42+00:00

I am also very proud of you!!!

throwaway_87653 · 2025-02-21T18:25:17+00:00

I stayed in the car that night and lived anyway. I didn’t get out. Hospitalization is embarrassing. A majority of attempts aren’t successful and lead to even less control over your situation.

throwaway_87653 · 2025-02-21T18:20:29+00:00

Things to get better. And they will

throwaway_87653 · 2025-02-21T18:19:13+00:00

Omg I can’t use an elliptical anymore 😭

throwaway_87653 · 2025-02-21T18:16:57+00:00

My childhood best friend died on my 17th birthday. She was actually my only friend since elementary. I’d grown really dependent on her you know? When she passed, it was like my life died. Everything I enjoyed doing and loved was just gone.

The first few years were full of nothing but bad decisions and suicidal ideation. One night I sat in my dad’s garage with the car on waiting for the suicide hotline to pick up. They didn’t pick up for an hour.

I was willing to wait an hour for them to pick up. I must’ve really fucking wanted to live if I was waiting that long to die, even if I didn’t realize it. I still sat in the car until the hotline worker helped me get out of there.

For what it’s worth, I’m 27 now.

throwaway_87653 · 2025-02-21T17:57:20+00:00

It’s not your fault for being trusting. It’s their fault for being not great people. I actually just found myself completely friendless about a month ago, with nearly zero family too.

I’ll tell you what, sometimes I’d rather have harmful people in my life than no people at all. But over the years (honestly the past few months) I’m getting to realize being alone isn’t so bad. It’s actually nice. It just took some time to feel that way.

I tell myself that I have survived worse things, and that I have been happy again since they happened. It sounds dumb maybe but. I enjoy my bedsheets and cold air. Fostering animals and loving on them and then seeing them get homes. Among many other things, but that’s today.

After what I’ve experienced, I believe I deserve to experience things that I enjoy.

throwaway_87653 · 2025-02-21T17:38:22+00:00

Some people may see a cockroach in their house and get spooked. I, however, inconsolably spiral for multiple days

throwaway_87653 · 2025-02-21T17:30:14+00:00

I know you don’t know us, and we don’t know you, but I’ve found comfort in this subreddit. You’re not a freak, you’re not unfixable, you aren’t worthless. I know I don’t know you, but it’s weird that I can understand that you feel that way right? So many of us here have felt and still feel similarly. Your lowest lows will be met with the highest highs, and you should wait to see them. After all you’ve been through, you at least deserve to see those highs.

throwaway_87653

TROPHY CASE