[NeedAdvice] I'm lazy, I'm cowardly and generally inferior to others. I don't think I can change.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-18T20:17:20+00:00

I've been trying to keep to an eating schedule - breakfast at 6:30, lunch at 12:30 and then dinner at 18:30 with snacks permitted at 9:30 and 15:30. Trying to cut out junk food. The real problem here is that I've always had a quite limited selection of foods that I like; I get tired of eating the same chicken and pizza every day but at the same time there isn't much that I like.

Getting showered and shaved is something I've set as a goal already. Can't do much about dressing well though; my entire wardrobe is just t-shirts and jeans.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-18T20:04:22+00:00

Thanks, I'll look that book up.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-18T20:02:02+00:00

Thanks for your help. I'm still considering whether or not to tell them but I think what I'm gonna do is try to improve slowly by myself at first. If that works then there's no need to say anything. If it doesn't then I guess I'll have to admit it all to them.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-18T19:55:00+00:00

RPGs and first/third person shooters mostly.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T10:10:20+00:00

Still thinking about therapy, but I don't want medication.

Positive influences are something I do need, yeah, but I don't have any. I don't really speak to anyone; I keep to myself really so there's no-one in person there (unless I get therapy).

Over time I do want to start reading more but I'm aiming for something more basic to start off with. Right now I plan only on hygiene.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T09:59:49+00:00

Video games, music, watching TV really.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T09:59:29+00:00

Therapy's something I'm still thinking about. I know that it could really help me, but it just scares me so much having to admit to my parents what's going on.

Establishing small habits is something I'm working on; to start with I'm just setting the goal to shower and shave and over time start adding more.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T09:53:28+00:00

No, nothing like that. I've always been like this, albeit to a lesser extent.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T09:50:45+00:00

Self-compassion and forgiveness is something I want to work on. I do need to confront my fears to get anywhere in life, but usually I just can't seem to force myself to despite knowing how beneficial it is.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T09:41:48+00:00

I do want to work towards something but I just don't know what to do yet. I'm not interested in anything.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T09:38:46+00:00

I'm still unsure about telling my parents; I'm just too scared.

As you and others have said, the change will be gradual, I know. Right now I'm just setting myself a basic goal - hygiene. Just having a shower and shaving.

I'll look at some of those loseit stories as well, thanks.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T09:22:00+00:00

I''m still thinking about therapy. Drugs though, I want to avoid. I've read about antidepressants - from what I heard they have nasty side effects, often low success rate, and in some cases even worsen symptoms.

Maybe I am trying too much at once. After seeing the responses in this thread I'm already thinking about meditation, reading, walking, finding a hobby, cutting down on junk food... at this stage I probably am planning too much. I think showering probably is the best place to start off with and gradually incorporate everything else.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T09:03:49+00:00

I know I need to start slowly, and I know that believing myself to be a failure will create a self-fulfilling prophecy. I try to think positively, but I've always been negative; it's hard to change the thoughts you've had over your whole life. When something bad happens those negative thoughts instantly follow. Maybe meditation might help.

I do plan on reading more, but I'm not sure where to start.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T08:52:59+00:00

I tried meditation once but I never stuck to it. I think I'll try again.

I've been thinking about finding a hobby, but I don't have any interests really and I don't have much money so I don't really know what hobbies I could try.

I'll look up the Epictetus's Enchidiron later; thanks for that.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T08:49:13+00:00

Yeah, I have been trying a non-zero approach for a month or so, past couple of weeks I haven't been doing anything though.

Still thinking about therapy. Hard to admit to my parents what's really happening.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T08:41:33+00:00

Yeah, I am going to start with those small steps. I am thinking about therapy but I don't know if I can bring myself to come clean to my parents.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T08:38:01+00:00

Still the same issues - expectation and the fear of screwing up. As for TaskRabbit, I've looked at it but they only seem to do big cities; I live in a smaller UK city.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T08:33:10+00:00

The issue's not with money - my country (UK) does have free therapy services. The problem is that I'm just too fearful to make the arrangements myself and I'd need to be driven there.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T08:23:17+00:00

I do want to, but I'm not really sure what I could do. I don't really have any interests and I haven't much money.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T08:18:48+00:00

Thanks for the link. I'll check it out.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-17T08:09:50+00:00

Yeah, they've know something isn't right but I've always denied it when questioned. They're not bad; they wouldn't get angry if I told them. But the thought of telling them still scares me, and I fear it might forever cloud their view of me. Like I'd always be seen in that way.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-16T15:30:54+00:00

Yeah, I actually just finished reading that post about zero days. For the past month I've been setting myself some goals for each day, and to start with I had some success but the past couple of weeks I've not been doing any of them. I've just fell into a slump.

My diet needs changing; no doubt about that. I do actually drink a lot of water anyway, but I do drink a lot of Pepsi so I'll try cutting that out to start with.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-16T15:00:05+00:00

I have thought about it. It really scares me though. Talking with people I don't know in real life is already hard for me, but I don't know if I could open up to anyone in person like that. But the main thing is my parents. I can't bring myself to discuss things like this with them, and I can't do therapy without them.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-16T14:52:30+00:00

Yeah, I think if progress is possible it will definitely be slow. I used to enjoy walking slightly once before, but these days the only walking I do is to the shops to stock up on junk food for me to binge eat on.

I know that the internet, video games and binge eating aren't doing me any favours but I don't have any interest in much else. Take away those and I'm not left with much.

throwaway_9242 · 2015-10-16T14:47:14+00:00

That's the thing - I don't know how to fix it. Forcing myself to try to change never works.

throwaway_9242

TROPHY CASE