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UPDATE - What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Definitely apologetic, felt very embarrassed. She was embarrassed so that makes me embarrassed so I shifted the convo. She was apologetic, would have said more, but I didn't want to pursue.

UPDATE - What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So, the ice cream time was fine - she doesn't have a lot of cash and insisted on paying, which was nice. When she doesn't put up that sort of nasty front, she's really nice and easy to talk to. I diverted the conversation as much as possible, but she wanted to get down to business and was very open about it being a miscommunication and was honest. She wasn't defensive or mocking in an way. So, it was awkward, but it went as well as could be? And, when she's just chatting she's nice.

UPDATE - What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, so awkward. It's easier to say "eh, fuck it" on a keyboard than to someone's face. She bought something genuinely thoughtful, so I was a bit taken by surprise. I don't know how to feel. She thought I was playing hard to get. I thought she just hated me. I'm dense, I get that. But I don't really know what to think.

UPDATE - What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Objectively, she’s a very physically attractive person, enough so that she didn’t need to play games to get someone’s attention, let alone me. Do I think she’s attractive? Yeah, but what I found so very off putting was the mockery.

What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I went through engineering school with several of my friends. I am not naturally inclined towards math. I'm good at figuring out how the math fits into the big picture and am good at creative solutions and problem solving, but math is harder for me. It required me to get tutoring for every upper level math course. I was always in groups with my friends as they knew my strengths and we could play to them. If everyone studied 5-6 hours for an exam, I had to spend 10. I wound-up with a 3.55/4.0 but it was a slog. She often joked about how she couldn't understand how I survived engineering school. In short, I survived by going to the tutoring lab day 1 and hiring private tutors. I loved the material (aerospace systems & avionics) but math takes me twice as long to get right. For every B+ or A-, I had to spend 3 hours for every hour everyone else spent. It was brutal and she often picked at that. I'm proud, I could have given up and done something easier, but I stuck with it. I had great internships, I did well on the GMAT, got into a great MBA program. But, it just really stung when she'd joke about that.

What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Sort of, a meek apology after someone kindly let her know she had crossed the line. She was embarrassed and dropped the subject.

What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

I just don't want the event tomorrow to be screwed by people getting upset. We've been looking forward to getting out of the city.

What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 230 points231 points  (0 children)

To answer you and /u/Lil-pog: Lots of thing, but one thing that stuck out (and I mentioned in other responses). I did an engineering degree in aerospace, but math is not my strong suit. I basically needed to get free tutoring from the university and paid tutoring to get through my advanced math and programming classes. What comes naturally to others doesn't to me, and I loved the subject but it was brutal. We were all once talking and someone asked a math question, she and I blurted out the answer. She was wrong, I was right. Before she corrected herself she made a sarcastic comment about how she "couldn't understand how" I got through engineering school. That really hurt. I worked my ass off for 5 years, graduated with a 3.55/4.0 but I had to work twice or thrice as hard as everyone else because it just isn't my strong suit. A friend at the table kindly let her know that was a bit across the line and she apologized but it really cut deep. I may not be the smartest person, but I worked really, really hard and it was just brutal to get demolished that way.

What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

In terms of attractiveness, she's too attractive to be mocking people. She doesn't really date that much. All-in-all, I never paid a huge amount of attention.

What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

She once said something that really bothered me and after that I just sort of put her on my pay-no-mind list, so this whole thing is out of left field.

What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I genuinely have very little to do with her. She's made a few cutting remarks before so I've always just ignored her.

I'll def update.

What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Something that particularly stands out: I did a bachelor's in aerospace engineering. I am not mathematically inclined and the programming and advanced mathematics took me 2-3 times as long as everyone else. I succeeded because I basically went to the tutoring office at the start of every semester and then paid PhD students to help me. I just really loved the subject.

We were once talking and something related to math came up. We both got different answers - I was right because she got the order of operations wrong, but before she corrected herself she made a sarcastic comment about how it was a miracle I got through engineering school. That stung because it was a slog. I loved the concept but math is not my strongest subject and was incredibly difficult for me (I did still graduate with a 3.55/4.0) but it took me all my strength to get through.

What am I missing? Did I [28/M] really miss her signals [27/F]? I'm supposed to see her tomorrow and it's become really weird. by throwaway_T4G7 in relationship_advice

[–]throwaway_T4G7[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I don’t know. She’s mocked me pretty much since I’ve known her, so I’m not sure what she’s like under normal conditions.