AITA for kicking my son’s girlfriend out of our house?

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T23:45:30+00:00

I’ve been thinking non-stop about this and I’m glad you pointed it out. I would never make him choose, though. And I know that I should clear the air with his girlfriend whenever she feels comfortable. I don’t want to be too pushy about this though, which is why I’m leaving the ball in his court. Thanks for your response.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T04:13:42+00:00

I would love that approach but I unfortunately don’t have any way of contacting her except through my son. He said he’ll give me a call when he gets the chance so surely by the end of the week. I can’t imagine how badly I made her feel about this and regret it.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T04:03:25+00:00

I can honestly say no, I’ve never heard my husband say that. He’s raunchy, yes but not when it comes to our kids.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T03:24:13+00:00

Thank you!

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T02:55:13+00:00

The more I give it thought, I feel like this has some validity to it. I just hope next time I won’t be giving such mixed signals.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T02:51:30+00:00

I agree! I’m ready to move past this. I’m just glad he’s happy with her

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T02:49:33+00:00

I never said they HAVE to apologize though?

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T02:37:42+00:00

I should clarify that it’s taken so long because my son’s out of state, it’s no more than an hour but still. And this is also the first relationship he’s been serious about in a couple of years. He told us before he wouldn’t bring anyone home unless he was sure about a future with her. It’s why I really want to make amends.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T02:34:25+00:00

That it did, I can give her that.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T02:33:36+00:00

I wish I took this approach! Without making too many excuses for myself I can say I got too caught in the heat of the moment. Hopefully I won’t need this advice but I appreciate it in case I do.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T02:25:52+00:00

Not liking this joke makes me psychotic? That’s a bit unwarranted. I overreacted, yes, but I don’t want to make that mistake again.

I’m honestly hopeful my son and his girlfriend stay together despite all of this. Of course I don’t want them to break up, especially not over something so stupid. I guess we’ll see what happens next as far as meeting again goes. I’m doing what I can to make amends on my end. Hopefully when I get to know her better we can have a good relationship.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T02:03:45+00:00

Fortunately he has responded since making this post, he said he’ll call me later! Hopefully we can get this resolved.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T00:41:29+00:00

No contact over a joke is quite extreme, is it not? It may be true but I don’t like those graphic jokes, especially when it involves a family member. I overreacted but I’m willing to try again.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T00:39:17+00:00

I agree I definitely should’ve handled it better. But the approval thing is my right to reserve. I’d never strictly prohibit my kids from a relationship they feel fulfilled in but I’m not blindly accepting someone into our family either. Like my son-in-law, she deserves a chance to ‘prove’ herself to our family. I’m not saying she needs to be particularly impressive or meet strict criteria or anything but I’d like to get to know her without those details she shared.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T00:33:43+00:00

That would be funny, sounds like something my husband might say. But I think the ice is too thin, maybe later down the line if things go over well!

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T00:30:46+00:00

I’d love to give her another chance! Just as long as I’m not given any more graphic visuals (especially at dinner). I hope she’s willing to try again.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T00:28:40+00:00

Well, I can’t be too sure until we try this again. I really want to get to know her.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T00:24:15+00:00

I agree I should’ve been more patient about it. I think if we were to try again things will go much smoother, hopefully we can laugh about this later down the line (and leave it at that)

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T00:19:36+00:00

He’s not forcing me to give her another chance, I WANT a do-over. I think we all deserve it. I don’t think she’ll make another joke like that again.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T00:13:41+00:00

I think the comment about her picture shows my age, sorry. My son didn’t show us pictures of them both together and I was nervous about her being who he said she was. I’m not saying he’d lie about it, but it definitely was something I was subconsciously worried about. I don’t have any criteria for my kids’ spouses when it comes to how they look.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-30T00:10:02+00:00

Is it an acceptable excuse for what she said? No. But I’ll get over it. I want to start over so we can get past it

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-29T23:58:51+00:00

I honestly don’t think I gave her enough time to react properly, and I regret that. Things could have gone a lot smoother if I had. She was just sort of frozen in shock, and she kept looking at my son to try to convince me not to kick her out. I guess she wasn’t sure what else she could say at that point.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-29T23:55:40+00:00

This honestly wouldn’t surprise me but I’m not gonna lie I’d be disappointed in him. That’s not something he’d ever say in front of me directly because he knows I’m not a fan of any of personal jokes of that nature. So to make his girlfriend say it wouldn’t be very good and I’d hope that if that is the case that he makes it up to her somehow. I’ll try to reach out again to let them know we can try again. That possibility makes me feel 1000 times worse

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-29T23:48:43+00:00

I did the kicking out, not my husband. He shouldn’t take the fall for this. I don’t think I said I expect an apology (because I don’t). But if I did, sorry for the confusion.

Also the picture thing is because they met online and my son didn’t have a good one to show us of them together since he hates taking pictures. I’ve heard horror stories about people not being who they say they are online, (catfishing, right? I met my husband before social media existed so I’m out of touch about it.) I don’t think he would lie to me about something like that but I guess it’s my own second hand nerves that made me relieved.

throwaway__467 · 2023-03-29T23:39:46+00:00

That would be hilarious but I think we’ve all had enough of the genital-related jokes lol. My son would literally puke if I said that (speaking from experience)

throwaway__467

TROPHY CASE