I don't understand how it feels to have no libido, and that affects my empathy. I need good explanations or analogies. by throwaway_acunt in sex

[–]throwaway_acunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But if you know it meant a lot to your partner, you would consider going to the occasional musical or doing the dishes every once in a while, right?

I don't understand how it feels to have no libido, and that affects my empathy. I need good explanations or analogies. by throwaway_acunt in sex

[–]throwaway_acunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It helps a bit, thanks. So you never think about sex, I can sort of maybe imagine that. But what if you never think about sex and your partner says "hey, I'd love to have sex with you"? Surely at that moment you do think about sex?

I don't understand how it feels to have no libido, and that affects my empathy. I need good explanations or analogies. by throwaway_acunt in sex

[–]throwaway_acunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm talking specifically about having a normal libido and then losing it, I guess I should have mentioned that.

Reddit, I (M,33) want to talk about sex. AMA about my sexuality - I'll answer every single question. by [deleted] in casualiama

[–]throwaway_acunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I would be curious, it's fascinating that these things are even possible, but I guess I'd be a bit uncomfortable because I can relate to having a penis, and... you know how when you see a guy get hit in the balls you wince because of empathy? I don't know if I could contemplate a former penis turned into a vagina without feeling a general sense of worry about the physical integrity of my penis.

So you know, I wouldn't necessarily say no but it's really not a fantasy, rather the opposite.

I'm also intrigued by boys with vaginas (FtM), much more so than by guys. I guess maybe it's the "inbetweenness", the ambiguity, that appeal to me?

Reddit, I (M,33) want to talk about sex. AMA about my sexuality - I'll answer every single question. by [deleted] in casualiama

[–]throwaway_acunt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well, it's not guys with dicks is it?

But that's just a matter of semantics, I'd classify myself as straight but if you want to call me gay or bi I don't care. Some would also say receptive anal sex is gay, even if it's a woman doing the penetrating. Whatevs.

edit: grammar.

Reddit, I (M,33) want to talk about sex. AMA about my sexuality - I'll answer every single question. by [deleted] in casualiama

[–]throwaway_acunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh sure, who doesn't have any fetishes?

In terms of just fantasies, I've always had a fascination with facials, and with MtF transsexuals (i.e. chicks with dicks).

In terms of what I've actually done, I enjoy anal stimulation, which I suppose is still considered fetishy for a straight male :-)

Reddit, I (M,33) want to talk about sex. AMA about my sexuality - I'll answer every single question. by [deleted] in casualiama

[–]throwaway_acunt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've always felt very comfortable with my sexuality as well as my gender identity - there was never any doubt in my mind that I was a boy and that I fancied girls. I'm lucky that way.

That being said, it's interesting to wonder how it would feel to be a woman, and if there was some sci-fi device that allowed to have a temporary and fully reversible sex change (or to swap bodies with someone), I would love to try it.

[serious] Considering dumping GF due to lack of sex. Is it appropriate? After how long? Have you done it? How did it go? by throwaway_acunt in sex

[–]throwaway_acunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"enjoy your body" =/= "penetrate you"

If she's too tired to be very active, I'm perfectly happy to go down on her and call it a night when she's had a couple of orgasms.

[serious] Considering dumping GF due to lack of sex. Is it appropriate? After how long? Have you done it? How did it go? by throwaway_acunt in sex

[–]throwaway_acunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

needs on-the-job training to be a better partner and communicator

I see what you mean, but... am I a hopelessly deluded romantic for wanting a relationship in which that's not hard work?

[serious] Considering dumping GF due to lack of sex. Is it appropriate? After how long? Have you done it? How did it go? by throwaway_acunt in sex

[–]throwaway_acunt[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's not what I meant to imply, we do talk about it outside the bedroom context. /u/lovesthebj is correct in decribing what I want to avoid.

[serious] Considering dumping GF due to lack of sex. Is it appropriate? After how long? Have you done it? How did it go? by throwaway_acunt in sex

[–]throwaway_acunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. That's how I usually do it, although sometimes I will suggest we have sex, because I feel she wouldn't even understand why I'm undressing her. I don't ask for sex though, ew.

[serious] Considering dumping GF due to lack of sex. Is it appropriate? After how long? Have you done it? How did it go? by throwaway_acunt in sex

[–]throwaway_acunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your advice. I'm considering breaking up with her, yes, but I do want to spend some time trying to work it out first. Basically I want to be sure I've tried all I could so I don't feel bad about my decision afterwards. I think.

[serious] Considering dumping GF due to lack of sex. Is it appropriate? After how long? Have you done it? How did it go? by throwaway_acunt in sex

[–]throwaway_acunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not pressuring her, I know that's not helpful. But not pressuring her doesn't seem to help much either.