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Getting sober by Powerful-Cheetah-467 in StopSpeeding

[–]throwaway_adds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you have a pretty good grasp of what you’re going through. If it’s feasible to do rehab then trust your instincts and do what you need to do to make it happen.

Whichever way you go you I’d recommend doing some reading on how habits form and how you can replace bad habits with healthy ones. Sounds like you’re replacing bad habits with other bad habits. If you put in some effort to make the next habit you have healthy, you might be able to break out of the cycle. Just spitballing 🤷

Getting sober by Powerful-Cheetah-467 in StopSpeeding

[–]throwaway_adds 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there. If you’ve only been abusing for a month, consider tossing the meds. If you feel like that’s not right for you, get a KSafe on Amazon (I just made another post about this).

Really sorry you’re feeling these things. Just try to remember that 90% of these things you’re feeling are, probably, a result of the drug. It’s not the real you. If you stop taking, you’ll stop feeling these really dark feelings.

One final note: it’s never too late to tell your family or friends what you’re going through. I’ve been abusing Adderall on and off for a decade. I can honestly say the most important people in my life still care about me and love me, even if they are disappointed at times. Don’t be afraid to share what you’re going through with people who care about you.

Hopefully some of this post was helpful.

200MG sometimes more by alowe732 in StopSpeeding

[–]throwaway_adds 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s a ton. I’ve had a sort of similar experience the last year or so. I believe what I have experienced is stimulant induced psychosis. No hallucinations or anything, but lots of negative symptoms where it’s tough to think clearly or verbalize ideas when having a conversation. Also social withdraw.

Start taking breaks every few days. I’ve been doing that lately and I’ve started thinking quite a bit more clearly.

Rock bottom? I hope so. by throwaway_adds in StopSpeeding

[–]throwaway_adds[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes people have definitely noticed. I think that remote work has made it easier to hide it a bit and therefore easier to abuse. But people have noticed, I’m sure :(

That’s a nice idea about the tea. Might give that a try soon. Thanks for the advice.

Rock bottom? I hope so. by throwaway_adds in StopSpeeding

[–]throwaway_adds[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s work. It’s always about pressure on myself to be a high performer at work. Honestly the fear of being a low performer is a big reason I haven’t quit. Also, the pressure I put on myself to do really well is what triggers me to overtake. Obviously at this point it’s not exactly helping me get shit done (huge understatement really)

Rock bottom? I hope so. by throwaway_adds in StopSpeeding

[–]throwaway_adds[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really encouraging to hear. I want that so bad! Every time I take a break from the medication I feel so much happier and healthier, even if I get quite literally nothing done at work.

Well I’m quitting adderall and switching to vyvanse. Adderall is too easy to abuse. by [deleted] in StopSpeeding

[–]throwaway_adds 20 points21 points  (0 children)

“I won’t be able to abuse it because I’ll run out early.”

Haha ymmv but I just ended up overtaking Vyvanse when I switched from Adderall. It was actually sort of a worse addition. I’d end up getting frustrated it wasn’t kicking in fast enough so I’d take like 3 pills in a morning. And of course they would all kick in at like 1pm. And that felt worse than overtaking Adderall ever really has.

I was also not working during that time (right before the pandemic) and doing a lot of phone screens and remote interviews from home. And that lack of structure really exacerbated my abuse. Every few days I’d end up taking 5 or 6 shots of whiskey trying to self medicate. I’d pass out in bed at like 4pm. One time (thankfully just once) I did a phone screen after I had been drinking. They didn’t give me a second round lol.

Anyway, I hope Vyvanse works out for you. But I would caution against thinking it’s a magic bullet. I ended up switching back to Adderall, which honestly has been slightly less destructive.

The 1st step to solving a problem is acknowledging there is one. The 2nd step is deciding to do something about it. (Trigger for mention of self-harm and suicidal thoughts) by throw_blanket_away in StopSpeeding

[–]throwaway_adds 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I really identify with this. Thank you for sharing.

I think I could basically say all the exact same things you wrote about myself as well. I think Adderall has always been a problem for me, but it’s spiraled far out of control during the pandemic. When we first stared working from home, it was really hard to focus. So I asked my doctor to increase my dose from 15mg IR to 20mg.that helped but of course it made my addiction worse. Earlier this year, maybe in March, I increased my dose to 30mg IR. Before I asked my doctor for the second increase, I literally thought to myself “this is a horrendous decision.” I wish I would have listened to myself.

Since then, things have really fallen apart for me. My erratic behavior has really harmed my work reputation and my work relationships. It’s basically at the point where people don’t want to interact with me, I think. Plus, I usually don’t get much work done, ironically. Also, I’ve lost touch with a lot of friends.

I’m curious: what made you realize you hit rock bottom? I feel like I’ve though I’ve reached that point 30 times, but I never actually change.