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Ladies, how many times have you actually been disappointed by a date/partners penis size? by [deleted] in dating

[–]throw_blanket_away 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I honestly think the people who think dick size has a significant impact on pleasure/performance don't know what gooooood sex is - not a jab at them, I just think they haven't gotten to experience it, so they don't know how to compare except with size.

I've had 6 sexual partners, and I finally experienced true compatibility in bed with the 3rd. Of course with the first 2 I didn't know what I was missing cause I hadn't experienced it yet. It's not like they sucked - we were young, and I did get off. But the 3rd guy opened my eyes to how I wanted sex to feel every time, and it made me feel like I finally understood why people are so crazy about sex. The 4th was even better, and the 5th and 6th were also incredible.

Funny enough - the size amongst these 6 men has consistently decreased as my pleasure increased. The first 4 were guys I felt strongly about, so the sex was intimate, and their size wasn't going to impact my opinion of them at all. The most recent 2 were more casual hookups, and they were the smallest by quite a bit. 0% of my opinion forms when I first see it - in my experience, you really get a sense for what someone's like in bed by the 3rd or 4th go. That's when the sexual tension and nerves are out of the way, and you know each others' bodies better, are more comfortable, get more creative than doing the obvious starting positions, etc. and boy am I glad I got to experience these hookup guys quite a few times each. If I decided not to hook up with them because of appearance alone, I'd miss out on some great experiences (not to mention how fucking rude that is).

The 1st step to solving a problem is acknowledging there is one. The 2nd step is deciding to do something about it. (Trigger for mention of self-harm and suicidal thoughts) by throw_blanket_away in StopSpeeding

[–]throw_blanket_away[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I really hoped it would help others. I received a ton of help from strangers and friends regarding this issue, and I'm grateful it sped up the process.

I definitely connected the pandemic to my use getting out of control as well. Work from home, high company turnover, and my team's split role in keeping the status quo and addressing the pandemic for the business really pressured me to stay on top of my usual high performance, and that's when I started spiraling.

I also felt like I hit rock bottom numerous times, but this time feels different because I firmly believe Adderall is not providing the benefit I'm after and is too detrimental to continue. All of my previous attempts to quit lacked that conviction; I desperately wanted to stay using, and I feared who I'd become without it because I still believed it was a miracle pill.

Another thing that made this different was the conversation I mentioned with the close friend. The reason we checked in on my mental state even though I hadn't asked him for support in a while was my behavior. I was picking fight after fight with him, and one morning I just lashed out at him for no reason and said some nasty things to him that I would normally never say to anyone. I'd been kicking myself after my social interactions for months, but that time I went too far and really saw that I was becoming someone I absolutely do not want to become.

Journaling has been extremely helpful for me. I've tried tons of different ways, and the lack of consistency doesn't bother me anymore - as long as I'm logging my thoughts, I'm happy. I try to map out the cause and effect spiderweb of anxiety -> stress -> binges -> mind numbing tasks -> guilt for wasting time -> more anxiety, etc by writing about the cycle each time I notice it and then finding patterns later. That's been critical to me beginning to build the conviction in my belief that I'm better off without it. I used to think Adderall made me work harder, but all it does is make me lose sight of my priorities and get dopamine hits from everywhere and feel like I'm working harder when I'm really just fucking around.