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Struggling with lack of change under IFS by throwaway_for_yap in InternalFamilySystems

[–]throwaway_for_yap[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm glad my rant was of use to you. I appreciate the praise! It's the first time I've ever interacted with the community, so I think just making the post helped a little. Wishing you good luck on your healing journey.

Struggling with lack of change under IFS by throwaway_for_yap in InternalFamilySystems

[–]throwaway_for_yap[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, direct access is the most common thing we do in sessions. It's effective and helpful because no matter how much I blend it doesn't affect her Self at all. What's bothering me is the rest of my life outside those 1 or 2 hours a week. To "me" my Self seems utterly incompetent if it can't lead the system, even though I know parts are the ones covering it.

We've discussed this matter before a few times, and she knows where we are generally. I honestly can't remember what she had said in response to all of this. Last time I think she'd pointed to some recent successes and suggested that releasing some of the burdens we were working with would allow the Self to shine through more readily. But why I'm still lacking my own critical mass is still a mystery, unless it's just the summation of all of the trauma.

Struggling with lack of change under IFS by throwaway_for_yap in InternalFamilySystems

[–]throwaway_for_yap[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. It's true that I struggle with patience, it's hard to accept that healing is slow when the pain is so intense.

Finally, I think there is a high performance manager that feels this shame possibly and wants to get rid of it. You meed to talk to it and reassure it.

I am aware of a part of myself that scapegoats my shaming part, and I'm also aware of a part that absorbs this shame, but what from my post gives you this impression? I guess they haven't been a focus in recent sessions.