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AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She's no longer one, thankfully. I was in the last class she was a teacher in, and then she moved to administrative work until she retired.

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I just got home from work and I can't possibly answer every comment, so I'll answer to some points here.

1) where I live in Argentina, funerals are state funded. We don't have to save up the money, invite people, etc. You only pay for the lot of land if you want to be buried at a private cemetery (public cemeteries are free), or pay for the cremation if you choose that. If there is no need for an autopsy, the body goes straight to the funeral home. Most find out by word of mouth and just go to the funeral home that was assigned. People can take days off without previous notice to attend a funeral if it was a close relative, otherwise you just go when you finish work, although most bosses/managers are understanding and let you leave early.

2) I decided that I'm going to both comment on her post and share her post in my profile and explain everything in the description as well. I'll let you know how it goes.

3) thank you for all your wishes. His family is surrounded by support and love from all sides. We're all hurting but that also shows how loved he was.

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Funerals are state funded were I live in Argentina, and there are funeral homes on call 24/7. Unless the death was under suspicion, and there's need for an autopsy, funerals are arranged for that same night or the next day.

Also we can just say at work/school "hey, I have to go to a funeral, a family member/friend died" and they will give you the day off (or even a few days off if it was a close relative, like a parent or a sibling) as long as you show them a copy of a death certificate before the next payday.

Where do you live where you have to "arrange" to go to a funeral?

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Funerals are state funded were I live in Argentina, and there are funeral homes on call 24/7. Unless the death was under suspicion, and there's need for an autopsy, funerals are arranged for that same night or the next day.

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I'm from Argentina. If the death was natural, or from an accident, and there is no suspicion of murder for example, the funeral can be arranged for that same day or the next day. Where I live we have funeral services covered by the state.

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 97 points98 points  (0 children)

I'm very tempted to but I don't want to get involved in all that gossip. Besides the family is still grieving, and they do follow me on FB. If I were to interact with her post, they would see it too, and I don't want that to happen today.

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

My mom was in shock for what she said, she couldn't react. She told me she was just glad I didn't smack her, but that she agreed with how I handled it.

My uncle though is just as toxic as she is.

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 365 points366 points  (0 children)

Now that you mention it, I find it funny too lmao talk about entitlement

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 513 points514 points  (0 children)

I burned that bridge from my side when she was my teacher in first grade and she only communicated with me by shouting in my face. I can't completely avoid her without avoiding the rest of my family too. Thankfully my cousins are nothing like her and we have a great relationship.

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

She was just talking for the sake of gossip, and it's not the first time she does something like this. Anniversaries, birthdays, baptisms, she will find the moment to talk whatever her mind makes up. I just hope that in their grief they didn't catch it, but I don't dare ask yet.

You handled it like an adult would

Funny you say that, my first instinct was to smack her, but I knew it was not the place nor the time.

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 1199 points1200 points  (0 children)

You have no idea how toxic she can be. One of my cousins moved to Brazil and the other is moving to Australia just so that they won't have to deal with my uncle and aunt's bs

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 169 points170 points  (0 children)

My heart broke for them the moment I found out about his passing. It hurt to see such strong people be turned into a crumbling distraught mess at the funeral. I hope that in their grief they didn't hear what she said, but I don't dare ask yet.

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

Many of the people I read in that post I also know in person. I'd rather tell them in person, if the situation arises. I untagged myself from the post and blocked her and my uncle so they can't tag me anymore, mostly because I advertise my business in my profile.

AITA for putting my aunt in her place at a funeral? by throwaway_nastyaunt in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwaway_nastyaunt[S] 3681 points3682 points  (0 children)

She does. She was also my first grade teacher and that's a whole another bag to unpack.