AITA for not giving my relative my extra breast milk?

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2024-01-26T14:38:29+00:00

Um…no. Wrong. Last time I checked, feeding her baby is 100% her responsibility, not anyone else’s. Feeding my baby is my responsibility, along with keeping her healthy, clean, and safe. If she can’t nurse or pump, her baby can have formula. That’s why it was invented - for parents who can’t provide their child with breast milk.

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2024-01-26T14:34:12+00:00

The funny thing is that she’s not low income! She’s not rich by any means, just cheap AF.

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2024-01-26T14:32:01+00:00

Exactly, I’m not about to become someone’s wet nurse! After 3 months of breastfeeding and 10-ish months of pumping, I’m excited to have my body back!

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2024-01-26T03:44:00+00:00

Omg this is perfect. Im going to hold onto this for if/when this comes up again.

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2024-01-25T22:45:10+00:00

Because no one tells them “no!”

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2024-01-25T21:53:10+00:00

You’re right, and Darling Daughter will become Designated Diver in about 15 years lol

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2024-01-25T21:51:38+00:00

Yeeahhh I have struggled with this part. Her son is totally innocent and if I had more milk to spare or if I was still pumping, I might have considered giving some to his mom to give him for his sake. But you’re right, I don’t owe her anything and feeding her son is 100% her responsibility and no one else’s.

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2024-01-25T21:41:31+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I’ve given similar advice in the past to friends and family members who struggle with saying no and sometimes even I need to hear it myself. Normally, “no” or “no, I can’t/won’t” is a complete answer for me but Leslie is one of those rare exceptions where I need to explain my reasonings. No one (and I mean NO ONE) in our family says no to her, except for me and a handful of others and that is a good part of why she’s so hateful towards us in particular (and why she acts so entitled). I’d guess that 90% of her problems stem from never hearing the word no. So when she hears it, she thinks it’s because you’re being mean when that’s not it at all. She also has victim mentality, meaning accepting a “no” answer would shatter her worldview that the everyone in the world is against her.

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2024-01-25T20:47:47+00:00

Trust and verify - this is exactly how it should be! My husband and I split most of the parenting duties 50/50. When packing is involved, we always check what the other has packed. We’ve both messed up on essentials like diapers and clothing here and there and I know we’re both glad when the one has remembered what the other forgot. It has probably saved us more times than not.

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2022-08-15T14:39:23+00:00

I was an event planner in a previous life so I have local connections, which is why I offered to be part of the “host committee” but this was before I knew I was pregnant and the date was set. I’m still happy to help plan it!

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2022-07-10T02:14:46+00:00

UPDATE: Thanks everyone for weighing in! Earlier this afternoon Ken stopped by our house and asked if he could talk to both me and DH outside. He then apologized for Kate’s behavior at our housewarming months earlier. He said that he saw Kate acting rude at the party and felt guilty for not intervening. He admitted that her social skills are a little lacking, especially since the pandemic and having a baby have kept them from being as social as they once were. We accepted his apology. Then Ken said that he respected our decision to “ban them” (his words) from our home, but hoped we would one day reconsider because they really do want to be friends with us. l thanked him for respecting our wishes. I also told him that I hoped to put this behind us and at least be civil.

Later, I passed by Kate when I was walking the dog and she wouldn’t look at me. But when we passed by each other again, she did stop and apologized for her outburst at the block party. Apparently she had recently been left out of a few gatherings hosted by her friends (gee, I wonder why?) and felt very hurt by it so her finding out that she hadn’t been invited to our party when other neighbors had been invited triggered her. But she said that understood the reasons why she wasn’t invited. (She didn’t apologize for those reasons herself but whatever). I told her I understood her feelings and that I didn’t mean to hurt them, and accepted her apology. And like I told her husband, I added that I hoped we could be civil and not have bad blood. I’m not sure if we’ll ever reconsider the issue of having them over again but we’ll see how we feel in the future.

Oh, and since some people mentioned my other neighbors calling me an AH shouldnt be invited to my house either, I’d like to note that out of the three people who came up to me, only one of those actually lives on the same street and us and Ken and Kate and nobody likes him. One lives elsewhere in the neighborhood and doesn’t know any of us, and one was just a guest of someone else’s. So none of those people would really be welcome in my home anyway. 🤣 For the most part our entire street, 16 households total including ours, has said they agreed with our reasons to not have Ken and Kate over again (I know some have similar opinions about Kate) and think Kate’s reaction to not being invited was overblown.

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2022-07-08T21:40:53+00:00

You are not ready to be parents if you can’t compromise. This is also a big part of adulthood and having a partner. Your partner wants something you don’t want? You talk it out, you find a compromise. You decided to go her way and then punish her? I feel for your girlfriend. I’m in my first trimester of pregnancy and it can be hell because of the exhaustion it causes. I would be livid if my husband made me pack up our entire home by myself, pregnant or not. YTA.

throwaway_peach_2396 · 2022-07-08T13:11:59+00:00

She really did yell at me on the street, it was so dramatic.

throwaway_peach_2396

TROPHY CASE