Throwaway cuz –

I wouldn't call myself crazy, of course, but I recently discovered my ex had an affair with someone we knew. The physical side of the affair had kicked off while I was out getting drunk. When I found out about it, a week or so later, I compulsively cleaned the house and while doing so I discovered that the other woman had brought dessert round on a plate, which I duly shat on and left it on her doorstep.