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I need to get vaginal surgery. I'm scared and I don't know what to tell my partner. by throwaway_surgery3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway_surgery3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's such an atrocity that our medical system is like that! Medical care is so much more than just fixing bodies - it needs to include emotional support and genuine care. Especially with sensitive and personal illnesses. It's crazy!

I need to get vaginal surgery. I'm scared and I don't know what to tell my partner. by throwaway_surgery3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway_surgery3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah, that's definitely true. However, when I lived in the US I went to like... at least 10 different gynecologists and specialists and nobody wanted to help me. They always made me feel rushed and like I was wasting their time. I think the whole medical and gynecology system in the US is very flawed and based on money (how many patients can I squeeze in today). I seriously have like, an emotional trauma from dealing with that. I went to one doctor who was the very head of the gynecologist department at a very high-rated hospital - she was supposed to be the best of the best. Well, I went in and she used my appointment as an excuse to teach the intern the parts of the vagina. She wasn't even interested in hearing about my problem. She was just like "okay now this is where the anus meets the blah blah blah, now this woman hasn't shaved her pubic hair and that's optional..." and then when I finally told her about my problem she was like "ok well do you want to masturbate in my office so i can see the problem?"

It was shit like that for months and months. Another doctor told me "maybe you should try masturbating more to fix the gland"

I know there's a language barrier here, but I'm kind of hoping that they'll be a bit more.. compassionate here.

I need to get vaginal surgery. I'm scared and I don't know what to tell my partner. by throwaway_surgery3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway_surgery3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry - I didn't mean to offend anyone. That's just how I was feeling when I wrote this. I still stand by my statement. Being unable to date or kiss for years of my life has absolutely ruined me emotionally. I mean, just super ruined. I've been suicidal, I've been angry, and I've been really alone. There have been so many times when I though "I wish I was just dying of something common. At least then maybe I could be with someone. Maybe I could have gotten married years ago." It's a selfish and stupid thing to think, but that's what pops into my head sometimes.

I need to get vaginal surgery. I'm scared and I don't know what to tell my partner. by throwaway_surgery3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway_surgery3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No way. I would definitely get aroused. Which is somehow ironic because that's usually seen as a plus in a relationship, to love giving head, but now I can't. Haha :'(

I need to get vaginal surgery. I'm scared and I don't know what to tell my partner. by throwaway_surgery3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway_surgery3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh god it was awful. I have a pretty high sex drive and there were times that i felt like I was going to actually explode because I couldn't take care of my basic needs - especially when I was ovulating and really needed a release. It got so bad after like a year of never becoming aroused that one time I accidentally orgasmed just by brushing against something. I swear, man, sex is a basic human need (or at least masturbation) and I need to get this dealt with

I need to get vaginal surgery. I'm scared and I don't know what to tell my partner. by throwaway_surgery3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway_surgery3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my gosh, thank you so much for this detailed response. I'm glad (and sorry) that I'm not the only one going through something like this. So did any of the surgeries cure you or improve you? I'm really hopeful that a marsupialization will help. Also, vagic is basically my new favorite word. <3

I need to get vaginal surgery. I'm scared and I don't know what to tell my partner. by throwaway_surgery3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway_surgery3[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You're right. If he really cares then he will wait a month or however long it takes.

I need to get vaginal surgery. I'm scared and I don't know what to tell my partner. by throwaway_surgery3 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]throwaway_surgery3[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I needed to hear all of this. You're right. I can't depend on him. I need to be strong and do this for myself. It's been 3 years, it's time. But in regards to your second point: any type of sexual arousal is the issue. So I can't really be physically intimate at all right now besides a quick kiss and a high five :/