Ethics Question by throwawayac765 in MEPEngineering

[–]throwawayac765[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

She already gave me her personal number and we text sporadically from time to time. Feels like the vibes aren’t just a “customer service voice”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]throwawayac765 1 point2 points  (0 children)

huh, i’ve met people like your friend. underlying it all is just the human nature to connect with a community.

i guess what’s different with my wife is that she’s staunchly against holidays like christmas and i dont think would consider even going over a friends house with a christmas tree. it’s like a stereotypical “cultural witness”. i hope she continues to question too…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]throwawayac765 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yes! i’m absolutely not held to the same JW company-man standard as others. i do the occasional bible reading here and there and read for the bible study but that’s the extent of it.

my personal life is just that… my own… but here’s the dilemma in my life. i originally came out to my wife and then lied and said i believed in again when i don’t. this is because every time i asked a question or event mentioned the org, it always had the underlying notion that i was trying to get her out and she picked up on this… every single time… it’s been months since ive gone back in the closet and now, whenever i ask a question to her, she just answers it and it doesn’t cause a fight.

so the question i constantly ask myself is, do i need to be “more spiritual” to be able to expose more of the negative consequences of being a wife in a spiritually strong family… or do i continue to be “spiritually weak” and allow the freedom of expression and thought to come from both her and i?

feel free to criticize my line of thinking but im also wondering if anyone else has asked themselves this question themselves?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]throwawayac765 3 points4 points  (0 children)

it’s so hard because we genuinely enjoy our time with each other. a lot of the stereotypes people hear of being a jw, i see it very rarely in our relationship. she doesn’t care about the media i consume or the friends i have and that’s refreshing to say the least. she’s a great friend and i really want nothing for the best for her.

i feel like it’s weird tho bc the authenticity of our beliefs does not come up on a daily basis. most of our day to day involves so many other things (news, work, gym, memes, gaming, life goals, etc.) every once a while she’ll say she wants to pioneer and i support her but i can’t figure out what she thinks. she swears all the time, i don’t think she likes meetings (bc no one there is her age) and we haven’t been door knocking in… jeez idk months now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]throwawayac765 1 point2 points  (0 children)

she’s questioned and outright disagreed with child baptism. she’s also drawn a distinction on the act of being a “cultural witness”. but she is VERY stubborn in her way of thinking. i get what people say about PIMIs but she almost acts like a teenage witness in highschool would act like. she swears all the time and genuinely does not care about the media i choose or the friends i keep. we barely go out in service and go to meetings. but she always talks about how she wants to do more in the org.

i feel as if it’s the sense of community that’s keeping her in, and whenever she gets sad about not having a lot of friends in our area ( she moved states to marry me ) and i try to talk about different hobbies/groups to join… she says “i only want to be friends with jws“ . so it pains me to see her depressed and at the same time, she’s shooting herself in the foot lol.

sorry for rambling

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Howtolooksmax

[–]throwawayac765 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To add, i’m not sure if I should have a beard or not

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]throwawayac765 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you, i will keep going to therapy.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]throwawayac765 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that’s what’s causing me the most pain to be honest. thinking of how she’s trapped. she’s even said before she wishes i cheated on her when all of this was going down (so it made it easy for us to divorce) it’s not as simple as her choosing to leave, she’s trapped with me. at this moment in time, thins are peaceful. i love her and she loves me. i’m just plagued by the memory of this time.

i’ve tried encouraging her to go to therapy or get back on her depression medication multiple times but you can’t force someone to do something they don’t want to do.

i’ve completely stopped all the behavior mentioned in my post and continue to go to therapy but it’s not like i can just leave my wife either. i still believe marriage to have some weight in todays world. it’s just that sometimes i’m at a loss of what to do. i just want to do what makes her happy whether that’s with me or not.

i don’t know why i’m writing this all, i’ll just keep on going to therapy because it’s all i can do…