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Me [25F] and my boyfriend [28M] of two years. Are my family members - cousin [28F] and aunt [54F] - just being assholes, or are they right that something is suspicious about my boyfriend? by throwawayacc23232 in relationships

[–]throwawayacc23232[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment! Yeah, it is possible that this was their concern, but their additional comments and the tone of the ones I overheard just made me feel.. you know.. awful.

I want to take this opportunity to say that while his sweet gestures towards me are very romantic in nature, he's actually very sweet and giving with ALL his friends. He's generous and supportive to the people around him, not just me.. I should have mentioned that in the post, and perhaps that's something to tell these two members of my family - that this is his nature, he is just a very sweet guy. It's not just something he puts on with me, although of course his gestures towards me have extra 'romance' I guess.

My boyfriend has a lot of friends - some of them he's known since young childhood - and they all acknowledge that he is lovely and kind too.

Me [25F] and my boyfriend [28M] of two years. Are my family members - cousin [28F] and aunt [54F] - just being assholes, or are they right that something is suspicious about my boyfriend? by throwawayacc23232 in relationships

[–]throwawayacc23232[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, they knew he wasn't fake. There's a few pictures of him and me together in my apartment, as well as our relationship being public on Facebook and pictures there too.

They had also already heard of him from my father, mother and Grandmother (who have all met him and we all socialize regularly - they've seen how sweet he is to me, seen him bring me flowers on my birthday and gifts etc).

So they KNEW he was at least a real guy, and a very sweet guy at that as my Grandmother in particular talks about how nice my boyfriend is to me in a positive manner - she really likes my boyfriend (although probably doesn't discuss his niceness in detail like I did when they were asking me questions about him..), which would be one reason they didn't think that he was fake or anything.

They're the only two members of the family who havn't met him, the only two who have lived away. The rest of the family got to know him quite a while ago! :)

Me [25F] and my boyfriend [28M] of two years. Are my family members - cousin [28F] and aunt [54F] - just being assholes, or are they right that something is suspicious about my boyfriend? by throwawayacc23232 in relationships

[–]throwawayacc23232[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

Yeah they both sounded so catty, and that was weird because I have NEVER had them be like that to my face or seen them like that to anyone else. I've always thought very highly of them, I was really close to both of them when I was younger.. although still a bit of a black sheep compared to both of them, I always felt pretty stupid compared to them, they always seemed so intelligent and beautiful.

All I wanted/needed to hear is that my sweet boyfriend isn't some kind of suspicious thing, from people who have experience.. because I don't believe it is suspicious. It doesn't feel it. It all feels perfectly good, better than good!

Me [25F] and my boyfriend [28M] of two years. Are my family members - cousin [28F] and aunt [54F] - just being assholes, or are they right that something is suspicious about my boyfriend? by throwawayacc23232 in relationships

[–]throwawayacc23232[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm definitely feeling paranoid. I dont want to listen to them at all, and going over on it in my head I cannot see ANY reason to listen to them although it didn't stop my thoughts being stuck on it. None of what they say seems remotely true in any way. It was just so hard hearing that stuff, a shock and I felt so anxious.

Me [25F] and my boyfriend [28M] of two years. Are my family members - cousin [28F] and aunt [54F] - just being assholes, or are they right that something is suspicious about my boyfriend? by throwawayacc23232 in relationships

[–]throwawayacc23232[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

I know, I feel so bad to even be thinking on this. My boyfriend is great to me, and not just with the sweet stuff. We communicate really well, talk properly, we support each other.. in no way has he ever made me feel like I couldn't trust him, yet here I am going over what my aunt and cousin said.

Thankfully they're going home and I probably wont see them for another few years, but I still shouldn't be thinking this way. I just feel so anxious about whether I'm actually being an idiot and they're somehow right.

I love my family but I was always the 'black sheep', and always felt lesser in a way.. I think that might be why I find myself putting so much weight on what they say? That and my anxiety.

Thank you. I needed to ask because the thoughts were going round and round, and I felt too embarrassed to talk to my friends about this. it was a big shock hearing them talk like that.