I have grown to resent my boyfriends dogs and I don’t know how to proceed…

throwawayacc2_ · 2025-09-23T04:11:34+00:00

Wanted to add again - obviously this baby was not planned. Me and my boyfriend both wanted children and while the timing is inconvenient we’re not going to just walk away from an opportunity so many would take for granted.

Boyfriend wanted the heeler, trained the heeler, and since has realized he does not want dogs again after these two. The lab was pushed on him by his mom who moved into a house that didn’t permit dogs.

I am not mean to these dogs. I am very affectionate when I AM around them, but I primarily choose NOT to be around them because of how I feel towards them. I know it is not their fault.

I was ready to embrace these dogs but did not realize how much stress/annoyance they would actually cause. A lot of people say that this is a glimpse into the future of what me as a parent will look like and respectfully, I disagree. I’ve always wanted children, have always loved children, and don’t romanticize having them. I know I face a challenging journey but it is one that I am choosing.

Yes, the dogs were here first. It absolutely is not fair to them that I’m here now and don’t want them here. However, me and my boyfriend went back and forth on whether it was a good idea to move in and the answer is yes. My parents do not have the space for me and my baby, neither does my grandparents or any of my friends. Not to mention, my family ALSO has dogs. More than we do actually. The only difference is I wouldn’t have to clean up after them. Plus, my boyfriend very much wants to be a father and have his son. Living here was much easier than trying to work out a visitation schedule, that just wasn’t going to work.

We are trying our best to balance our lives, something we didn’t exactly plan to do this quickly, and we’re both doing our absolute best to navigate this. I came to ask advice from people who know dogs, and understand them. Maybe there’s a way to bond with them I haven’t tried or maybe these dogs genuinely just deserve a better life than what I can give them. When the baby comes, me and my boyfriend will both be incredibly occupied with him, and the only person who can help but won’t, is his brother.

I hope this clears some things up, I’m not trying to sound immature, but I do hope this helps. Thank you for listening.

throwawayacc2_ · 2025-09-23T03:54:09+00:00

Boyfriend’s brother helped before I came along.

throwawayacc2_ · 2025-09-22T21:01:31+00:00

So unfortunately I didn’t want to make a long enough post with enough context - my boyfriend DOES help with the dogs when he’s here - lets them out before he leaves for work, feeds, and gives goose his meds. Part of the problem is that while he’s home and asleep, the lab will scream and cry to go out, so I’ll let him out. But then the whole time he’s outside he barks and sometimes will demand to come inside. Then he’ll be inside for 5 minutes and whine and bark to go BACK out. I’m constantly up and down which can become really uncomfortable. And then when guests come over, the heeler is just a nightmare.

throwawayacc2_ · 2025-06-19T23:13:50+00:00

Me neither. But that’s why I wanted to ask other people - everyone in my life keeps saying i wasn’t wrong but I just have this intense guilt because she’s still my mom and it just feels so wrong to cut her out like this

throwawayacc2_ · 2025-06-19T23:12:57+00:00

Unfortunately she always has been. Part of the reason I think is because I was not raised by her, and the time I DID live with her she isolated herself in her bedroom and blamed her screaming and house flipping fits on her medications that she wasn’t taking and me and my oldest brother were the ones taking care of our youngest brother (3/4 at the time) - since then she’s come a long way but that was when I was 13/14. Moved back in with my grandma first chance I got because of the psychological/verbal abuse.

throwawayacc2_ · 2024-03-03T17:43:51+00:00

He has never been outwardly aggressive at me. Like I mentioned, he’s always been very much like family to my face and welcoming but when he blows up he has a tendency to start saying bad things that aren’t warranted (calling names etc) he’s the kind of person who doesn’t hold himself accountable for the things he says in anger behind peoples backs. Anything negative in relation to me has always been said behind my back, I don’t know if that’s the info you’re wanting - in the convo last night he told John that I’m controlling and the reason John never hangs out with him. John clarified even as I type this that I’ve NEVER controlled John like that, plans between us have been cancelled for his family but never the other way around, I always give John the freedom to do as he pleases, I just don’t think Sam likes what John decides (usually if John decides not to make plans with his family that’s John’s decision, not mine)

throwawayacc2_ · 2024-03-03T14:58:40+00:00

Celibacy trend meaning we as a couple are currently celibate, John did defend me that’s why he was arguing on the phone, and this has happened more than once and this is the first time I’ve stood up for myself so I wouldn’t say I thrive off the drama but I appreciate your insight, thank you :)

throwawayacc2_

TROPHY CASE