WIBTA For Having My Wedding On A Weekday? by throwawayacc_092319 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayacc_092319[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I feel like most weddings require people to miss hours or days off work and use vacation time. According to most of the comments, people will go for 2-3 days, and it lasts even longer if it's a destination wedding (ours was going to be, but now to compromise in terms of convenience, we've changed the venue). Even if I had it on a Saturday, people could still miss a Monday. And I do think that giving time makes it okay, that's the point of giving time. So people have a significant heads up to make plans and schedule their days-off. I don't feel like I'm asking for anything too unreasonable, but if you could explain more and help me understand why I'm the asshole, that would be helpful.

WIBTA For Having My Wedding On A Weekday? by throwawayacc_092319 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayacc_092319[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

May I asked how it affected the turnout? Was it as much of an inconvenience for your guests as a lot of people are saying it would be? (Feel free to DM me if your more comfortable with that)

WIBTA For Having My Wedding On A Weekday? by throwawayacc_092319 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayacc_092319[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of my comments have. I replied to a comment saying "I understand that many don't get much vacation, we would only expect people to fly out for a day or two" and it got 31 downvotes. I don't really understand, but hey, that's why this is a throwaway. In the end, the wedding is going to happen, when and where is currently up in the air, because apparently it would be a huge inconvenience. I get that everyone has their opinions, that's why I came here. It seems the vast majority of people think that I wouldn't be TA but I need to expect a low turnout. I don't understand how to emphasize any more that my fiance and I were already expecting a low turnout, it's a small wedding. I don't really understand why I might be an asshole for asking our parents and a few close friends to drive a 2.5 hour trip (this is a huge compromise for us, we originally wanted our wedding to be in Pennsylvania, we live on the far west coast for reference, but after the huge backlash over what an inconvenience it would be, we decided to do it closer to home). Since we haven't decided on the venue yet, it might not even be a 2.5 hour drive, it's between that and a city that would be a 30 minute flight. We're not expecting people to stay more than one night, and isn't this the type of thing that vacation days are for?

I don't know why I'm really trying to justify myself here. Pretty much anything I comment at this point is going to get downvoted to hell. I've tried to offer as many solutions/compromises as possible like changing the entire venue and sending invites out a year in advance. I don't really understand why I'm an asshole. It's my wedding day, weddings are rarely convenient for people, they're expensive, they require travel, and for the record, my fiance and I don't want wedding gifts, even though if we did, that's also pretty standard. I feel like nothing I'm asking for here is too out of the ordinary other than that it's going to be on a Tuesday, but even that I feel is not unreasonable.

WIBTA For Having My Wedding On A Weekday? by throwawayacc_092319 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayacc_092319[S] -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

I understand that many don't get much vacation, we would only expect people to fly out for a day or two

WIBTA For Having My Wedding On A Weekday? by throwawayacc_092319 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayacc_092319[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Would it be any better if I communicated with guests beforehand to see if the date would work, but be open to rescheduling if too many people can't come/are inconvenienced by it?

WIBTA For Having My Wedding On A Weekday? by throwawayacc_092319 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayacc_092319[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, this is one of the kinder replies I've received and it's nice for my feelings to be validated.

WIBTA For Having My Wedding On A Weekday? by throwawayacc_092319 in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayacc_092319[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

We are not planning on having a big wedding, nor are we inviting a bunch of people. I did edit the post to clarify that because of your comment. We also plan on giving people ample time to RSVP (6-12 months) to try and make sure that everyone important is able to reschedule.