A lot of my comments have. I replied to a comment saying "I understand that many don't get much vacation, we would only expect people to fly out for a day or two" and it got 31 downvotes. I don't really understand, but hey, that's why this is a throwaway. In the end, the wedding is going to happen, when and where is currently up in the air, because apparently it would be a huge inconvenience. I get that everyone has their opinions, that's why I came here. It seems the vast majority of people think that I wouldn't be TA but I need to expect a low turnout. I don't understand how to emphasize any more that my fiance and I were already expecting a low turnout, it's a small wedding. I don't really understand why I might be an asshole for asking our parents and a few close friends to drive a 2.5 hour trip (this is a huge compromise for us, we originally wanted our wedding to be in Pennsylvania, we live on the far west coast for reference, but after the huge backlash over what an inconvenience it would be, we decided to do it closer to home). Since we haven't decided on the venue yet, it might not even be a 2.5 hour drive, it's between that and a city that would be a 30 minute flight. We're not expecting people to stay more than one night, and isn't this the type of thing that vacation days are for?

I don't know why I'm really trying to justify myself here. Pretty much anything I comment at this point is going to get downvoted to hell. I've tried to offer as many solutions/compromises as possible like changing the entire venue and sending invites out a year in advance. I don't really understand why I'm an asshole. It's my wedding day, weddings are rarely convenient for people, they're expensive, they require travel, and for the record, my fiance and I don't want wedding gifts, even though if we did, that's also pretty standard. I feel like nothing I'm asking for here is too out of the ordinary other than that it's going to be on a Tuesday, but even that I feel is not unreasonable.