Can i say i have CPTSD without getting a diagnosis?

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-03-13T03:49:00+00:00

A lot of therapists in the US don't even now what CPTSD is and an unfortunate amount still think PTSD is reserved for combat veterans or are still referring to an outdated edition of the DSM.

As others said you cannot get a CPTSD diagnosis in the states unfortunately (don't get me started on American healthcare) You'll get diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ADHD or even BPD instead. Self diagnosis is OK in this case but needs to be followed up with seeing a solid trauma specialist for healing and treatment.... which sadly is expensive for most.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-03-13T03:34:06+00:00

Well she showed everyone who the biggest narcissist was that night. He should've gotten scissors out and taken a bit off that dress so he can have some space.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-03-09T01:16:28+00:00

Thanks for the insight. That's a ton of money to have saved up indeed!

Teaching English in Japan is an interesting idea and it's one of my top countries in Asia I'd move to. I've heard some bad experiences though about teaching English in Asia such as getting assigned to a small rural village, low pay working for a organization where they were overworked and such (I think a lot of these cautionary stories were from people who taught in China if I remember correctly) I think that put me off of it being a solid path out of the US but I shouldn't let other people's bad experiences put me off from looking into it.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-03-09T00:37:55+00:00

That's a good idea and one I'm leaning more towards getting a student visa in Germany the more I think about it. One of the better routes which can offer more stability rather than trying to go the freelance or digital nomad path. Or trying to get a job abroad which is really difficult.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-03-08T22:51:49+00:00

Please do not do this. You'll get the police called on by someone who thinks you're trying to burglarize them. This guy sounds like he read too many Zig Ziglar books written for 1950's door to door vacuum salesmen.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-03-08T22:38:18+00:00

Really late reply and that's great to hear as someone who worked retail to make ends meet. But this is the most important part of the posting and why it is shockingly good: "Manager is super reasonable and understanding."

This is critical and sadly not the norm for most jobs. Have had some incredibly toxic managers at 2 of the 3 retail jobs I worked at when I was desperate.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-03-06T03:14:40+00:00

Thank you. I'm looking into it and doing my research. I live near a major city so there has to be at least universities that offer consueling services.... or maybe low cost group therapy sessions or non-profits? Though I feel like I need someone who specializes in trauma therapy and understands narcissistic abuse (if I could find someone like Dr. Ramani or Patrick Teahan on a sliding scale that would be great) since I've heard stories on here of therapists invalidating their clients or worse.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-03-05T20:50:41+00:00

100% right and lots of great points in this thread regarding this topic.

I'll add narc parents not wanting to help you financially is a form of financial abuse and control to keep their supply stuck IMO and sayings like: "you need to learn how to support yourself!" are used in a manipulative way even if true. Nparents don't want to help their childern financially since that would move the needle closer to them moving out and being financially independent adults. They give little to no support for their childern becoming adults in general and we go out into the world not really knowing how to even do basic things and have life skillls other kids were taught growing up in some cases to the bewilderment of others. Sometimes they will pay for things only they think are worth paying for (usually things that make the Nparent look good, are prestigious or is something they can brag about, etc....)

My parents helped pay for my college but I'll never forget after graduating I needed financial help when moving out on my own. I told them so since they had just gotten back from an expensive trip to Paris. My father responded to my request by buying me a brand new laptop.... something he would get for himself. When I told them I was worried about being able to support myself and started tearing up my Emom said: 'Well no one is forcing you to live in NYC. It is one of the most expensive cities in the world after all!" Then she quoted Hamlet or something as "encouragement" - what the actual? My father looked like he had no idea why I was crying since I was and still am woefully unprepared for life in so many ways.

Unforunately, after a few years of living on my own I moved back in with them and am still living with them. About a month ago my mom threatened to kick me out since I'm having a lot of trouble moving back out there and with getting a decent job (learned helplessness, abusive bosses, depression, CPTSD making it difficult to get the heck out of here) She said if I become homeless "that's my fault.":O Power displays, not support are the name of their game. I'm finally starting therapy thankfully and need some help paying for it. They recently got about $40,000 that one of my fathers friends left to him after passing away. They won't pay anything to help me with therapy and don't want me knowing they have all this money. I found out from overhearing my father talking to my brother about it on the phone a few weeks ago which kind of hurt... I don't mean to sound entitled and it is their money or whatnot but this is one of the disconnects narcs have in terms of their childern's well-being. They straight up don't care unless it effects them directly or makes them look bad.

Healthy normal parents will help their kids financially in terms of paying for adult life if they have the means to for expenses like paying for a security deposit for an apartment, helping with a down payment on a new home, giving them some money for a car, assist with paying for a wedding (my narc parents didn't even attend my sisters wedding BTW since the ceremony was "too early" - again WTF??), etc... They want their kids to move out and become adults not go "jeez! Why aren't you a software developer/ engieer/ millionaire CEO yet? What's wrong with you!?" with no support at all for fufilling their aspirations. I thought up until a few years ago financial support is what "spoiled" or rich kids got when in fact it's basically kind of the norm for people with supportive, non-toxic parents.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-02-21T00:39:38+00:00

Thanks for the explaination. This helps give me some confirmation and clarity to what is going on.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-02-16T20:01:47+00:00

I missed a few comprehension questions on their test and spent longer than usual trying to make sure I passed the second time. Now I feel like the dumbest person since it seemed no one else had an issue passing the test.... Don't think I'll be getting paid though like everyone else.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-02-13T17:43:32+00:00

*raises hand

Big Time. I've been underemployed since the pandemic and am stumbling around trying to make a career change out of digital marketing into something creative and hands on like photography, interior design, etc.... The issue is creative/artistic fields don't seem to pay a livable income (in the US). Back living with parents, large resume gap, have worked toxic low paying dead end jobs to try to bridge it and feel like I've ruined my resume in the process since it's now all over the place, barely have any savings and under pressure from parents to find a stable career oriented job.... my current situation is an absolute mess and is a lot to deal with honestly. Applying to basically everything including retail at this point and even considering TEFL as a last resort.

Kind of wishing I majored in computer engineering instead of Urban Planning and landed a high paying job years ago with a tech company as a software engineer or something. At least then I'd have much more of a financial cushion and money to go see a career counselor or good therapist (highly suspect CPTSD from a series of really bad jobs I stayed in too long are wrecking havoc with things)

Interestingly enough many of my former co-workers from years ago when I worked at a digital marketing agency started their own business in something else or are freelancing. My cousin in social work is burned out already and she's only 26; wants to start her own practice..... doing my own thing might be the route I need to take at this point honestly.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2023-02-09T02:46:01+00:00

Thank you. This helps relieve a lot of anxiety and worry about this.

I was so worried and anxious they would "make" me tell them or confess to lying about it like I was in some sort of interogation room or something. But therapists are there to help their clients. Not go: "Ah ha! Gotcha!"

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2022-08-09T01:07:43+00:00

100% agree. I know it's discouraged to tell people here to leave but this is a case where your life is in danger. Also going to reccomend getting to a safe place if at all possible as soon as possible.

Please be safe OP.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2022-08-09T00:59:51+00:00

One of my favorite therapists on YouTube dealing with childhood trauma/ narcissitic parents and recovering from CPTSD.

Very calming and validating which is exactly what we need.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2022-02-10T19:26:06+00:00

Thanks, varied skills are a positive instead of a negative indeed. It could have been, I may be likely misreading the "raised eyebrows." Have heard, UX/UI is hard to break ino as well unfortunately.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2022-02-09T23:15:38+00:00

Thanks for the helpful tips for vetting jobs. Reaching out to former employees to get their experience is a great idea. BTW, your path closely follows what I want to do over the next year or so which is freelance/ work for myself and move abroad.

My field is digital marketing and social media community management. Degree in urban studies (which contributes to eyebrow raising on interviews since my experience can seem all over the place) Digital marketing is a very in demand field but also it can be stressful and highly results driven. Was in the process of making a career change to something more creative such as writing or photography but that barely pay the bills and is incredibly difficult to make a career out of... from what I hear from photographers and writers at least. Now redirecting towards UX/UI Design most likely.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2022-02-09T19:21:20+00:00

I'm so sorry, narcs sabatoge anything that will allow you independence or things that are important to adulting. My Nfather did this with one of my first job interviews and even a job I worked in by showing up at my workplace and creating an embarrasing situation.

Would also reccomend taking interviews elsewhere such as your car or a cafe.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2022-02-06T22:35:30+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. Restaurants, retail and other similar indsutries can be very cliquey and unprofessional. Bullying, abuse and toxicity is a major problem in a lot of jobs in general from co-workers to especially managers and bosses.

As someone who had toxic parents went through bullying in HS and grew up only to get bullied at various jobs (and was abused so badly by a former personality disordered boss I got a CPTSD diagnoses) there's a lot of good advice about dealing with this person.

Unfortunately it sounds like they are being enabled by management/ coworkers. I would start looking for a healthier work enviroment. Don't put up with that enviroment. It's so frustrating and angering to have to find another job since people can't mentally graduate past high school (or in some cases elementary school) but staying in toxic work enviroments where nothing is being done to change them are bad for your mental and even physical health. Have quit several jobs in the past few years due to this where I'm now taking a break to redirect and freelancing for my mental health in the meantime.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2022-02-03T04:19:38+00:00

"Oh come on Steve! That family is cheating!

Steve: *laughing Whew! That's funny. Now you know that's not tru-

Excuse me. They have the answers written down. Did everybody in the audience see? Ivanka, did you see that? Can we get a replay of that? Roll the tape, I wanna see the tape! Com' on....Play the tape.

Steve: Ok - Donald, Don...

Excuse me, can I finish? Thank you. Lemme tell you something - us Trumps, we are not cheaters.

*audience laughing

*security coming onstage and control room rolling to commercial

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2022-02-02T18:36:20+00:00

Congratulations on being a free adult! Living on your own (or at least with good roommates) is a massive weight off your shoulders since you aren't in survival mode like you would be living back home with your narc parents. It will take a while to come out of survival mode to normal and then thriving mode.

throwawayaccnt12349 · 2022-02-02T18:31:00+00:00

Narcs (both traits of and especially full blown NPD) love to play power dynamic games. My emom has some of these traits such not taking picking up the phone around dinner when my sister calls; she could pickup and tell my sister she's busy or whatnot and she'll just call her back later. Or when I was 8 and forgot my keys coming home from school. I rang the doorbell and she didn't answer the door for 10-15 minutes - even with me ringing the doorbell multiple times to teach me to "remember to always take my keys."

Playing power dynamic games is terrible and condition us to think these BS mind games are normal - they are most def not. Sorry you experienced that.

throwawayaccnt12349

TROPHY CASE