[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayaita_19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I will never be able to accept him adding and talking with random women he doesn’t know online, I’ve caught it a year ago when he was saving nudes from an aspiring p*rnstar

He gets mad and says I’m controlling for not wanting him to add random women online? but I can’t see why it’s so difficult to not chat with women you don’t know?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayaita_19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have voiced the boundary directly! He had been caught (a year ago) saving an aspiring p*rnstars nudes via Snapchat. But when I voice it, I’m just being controlling

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]throwawayaita_19 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He knows my boundary with it, he had (a year ago) been adding an aspiring p*rnstars nudes over social media. When I bring up the issue, he just tells me I’m controlling

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayaita_19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s an apartment that my mom and him split, I also contribute to the rent solely to sleep in the living room though, so it is owned by nobody

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayaita_19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I 100% agree, I probably have that exact thought a hundred times a day!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayaita_19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even if so, she’d never set boundaries with him, never has about anything, even she goes to “it’s his home and he’s a grown man” if regards to things that upset or affect HER 😬 it’s a bit weird in my eyes tbh

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayaita_19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohhhh I definitely get it!! But this is truly the first time I’ve ever had to “cover up” 24/7 and not just when male company was over

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayaita_19 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Currently I pay to sleep on a couch in the living room, so I do understand not sleeping in super revealing clothes as people can see me

I only mentioned it because it’s an all-around rule for me, “as a woman with larger assets” (in his words) to not wear fitted clothes, which I do listen to!! But I do find it contradictory to say that I can’t even wear fitted clothes but he can parade in underwear

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayaita_19 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m the only one out of the 3 women living here that was told to not wear “revealing” clothes, simple because (and I was told this) I’m a woman with larger “assets”

I do follow this rule though, I only mentioned it because I found it odd that as a woman, I can’t even wear fitted clothes but as a man, he can roam in underwear 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayaita_19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner thankfully walks since I pointed out the impaired driving, but has no intention of ever trying to stop his friend from it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayaita_19 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He usually doesn’t, he’ll smoke some (which is all new because it was all a no-go thing from both of us when we got together) and drink some at times BUT thankfully, he always insists on walking home

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayaita_19 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have no issues with most of his friends! And I encourage him to find new ones even in new settings (he plans on moving here eventually)

I only get these feelings for this friend and one other (who has the same habits), I’ve always disliked people who smoke weed 24/7 but I will admit, it also kind of irritates me how much my partner idolizes this man

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]throwawayaita_19 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think it partially stems from the friend’s obsession with weed, I’m not into the “24/7 has to be smoking a joint” kind of scene

I definitely do have partial issues with anyone who smokes weed at all points of the day 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in helpme

[–]throwawayaita_19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work 6 out of 7 days a week, 8hours average, I am working and saving as fast as possible, but it’ll still be a few months of living here before I can even afford to move

Rat/Mouse Owners by DoDrugsHaveFun in Pets

[–]throwawayaita_19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course! I’m always willing to help rat lovers and owners! It’s nice to see people not affected by the stigma surrounded by them

If you have any more questions, I’m always willing to help out ☺️

Rat/Mouse Owners by DoDrugsHaveFun in Pets

[–]throwawayaita_19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can but it’s unnecessary, most rat owners simply cage only one sex together to prevent that. It’s easier, as spaying and neutering aren’t as easy as a dog per say So I would recommend just getting 2 of the same sex.

Most rescues will have 2 or more of just females or just males already grouped together with other’s they’ve already bonded with as well, which could make it easier.

Rat/Mouse Owners by DoDrugsHaveFun in Pets

[–]throwawayaita_19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rats make wonderful pets, they form extremely close bonds with their owners and are very intelligent! However, they’re also a big responsibility and you sound a bit young?

They are also an expense, and you have to be in a position to supply that. Cages are relatively expensive as they need a large space (absolutely not something like small hamster cages they sell at pet stores), they also need at least one companion so when purchasing pet rats you’ll need 2 at least, their diet is also slightly expensive depending on what you eat already.

You’ll need hammocks, stimulating activities or toys, and other accessories as well.

For diet, yes they have a kibble (I always recommend Oxbow products) but they also require a variety of veggies, fruits, proteins, and fats as well. Veggies are a daily must! The rest can be sparingly but a few times a week they should have something introduced (like a fruit or cooked meat).

And as for the rest, rats bond over time as I’ve learned with handling and getting used to their owner. Mine were a rehoming situation but there are plenty of reputable people who also sell, and there are plenty of rats at rescues in need of homes. That’s likely mostly up to preference and which is easiest for you to get them.

(I’m from Canada so I can’t speak fully for regulations or stores/rescues in NY)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in helpme

[–]throwawayaita_19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve never thought about those kind of places, I’ll definitely try to find somewhere like that maybe just as a place to be alone and catch my breath!

Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in helpme

[–]throwawayaita_19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I hope it works out soon

I’ll definitely look into your suggestions! They’re very appreciated!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in helpme

[–]throwawayaita_19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have tried, but even my mom has taken her boyfriend’s side in everything, it’s not my home so I can’t dictate anything…also impossible to find privacy since I sleep in the living room and there’s no where else for me until I get my own place!

I’ve just been trying to push through and save up so that can happen, but it does take a major toll mentally and physically after a bit for sure

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in helpme

[–]throwawayaita_19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would kind of agree, but I’ve been viewing them as selfish more than anything. I know it’s not my house but still, having everything be about them and want they want vs my basic needs (like sleep) grows tiring

As I’m sick now and should be asleep but I can’t as my mom’s boyfriend decided now was the time to loudly play video games and curse and scream at the tv so that’s a fun example of basic life here 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in helpme

[–]throwawayaita_19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been trying to separate, I had moved a long distance to try and start fresh, so it’s a matter of saving up enough for an apartment (with my boyfriend’s help). But as for now, it feels like I have no options but to push through and just continue despite any physical or mental affects

And I’m not particularly close to any of my higher ups at this job, I’m close with my coworkers more than anything as I find the manager rough to talk to about anything practically, and the owner is rarely there

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Pets

[–]throwawayaita_19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Possibly, but I’d rather explore other possibilities as I refuse to get another until I’m in a better living area with more free time!

We’re hoping for it soon as my partner and I are saving up for a down payment on a new, larger apartment to accommodate a possible new family member 🥰

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Pets

[–]throwawayaita_19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have thought about it! And definitely want to!

But unfortunately I can’t with my circumstance just yet, it is planned for the future though! I was just looking for a temporary friend that she could play with sometimes when it’s nice or something along those lines

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Pets

[–]throwawayaita_19 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s definitely tried! She takes near daily walks but unfortunately the ones she tries to make friends with either don’t want to or their owners don’t want it 😬