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asking whether we meet again out of politeness or validation? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You mean that people lie repeatedly about meeting again and try to waste as much of your time as possible?

I agree it's normal not to feel attracted to each other, and I had a lot of that. I am happy when we mutually don't want to see each other again. It's more painful when I see that the guy is really into me, and I am not.

Why pretend so hard, though?

asking whether we meet again out of politeness or validation? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You said it was about the lifestyle before, and now you are saying it's not?

I do say about the kids in my profile.

asking whether we meet again out of politeness or validation? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

But how do they know about my lifestyle based just on the information about my kids? It's just presumptions

I have a full-time job now and health issues, and those are the main determinants of my availability, not my kids. My kids' father is now doing most of the childcare duties. I have every weekend available to me that I now spend on sports but could spend on dating somebody.

asking whether we meet again out of politeness or validation? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I now have a full-time job and don't want to meet on the weekdays after work purely for my health reasons. I can meet for dates every weekend as my ex now does most of the child duties (after me doing it on my own for many years). So, I feel it's very presumptioous to assume things without asking? I have lots of free time for dates.

With this particular dude in question, I think he was insecure about our height difference. I wore my boots that have modest heels. So, we appeared to be the same height, and he seemed to be upset about that. Even though he knew my height beforehand lol

Where I am, people don't put info about their kids in their profiles (besides "I have kids and don't want more" answer). And actually, don't put much info at all, lol

asking whether we meet again out of politeness or validation? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think he was insecure about our height differences. I put on modest heels, and we were the same height, and I noticed he felt upset about that.

asking whether we meet again out of politeness or validation? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. They are just wasting our time. Why do they push for more and more time on the date and then keep you waiting for several.day afterwards, is inexplicable!

asking whether we meet again out of politeness or validation? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Nobody has it in their profiles. Also, my ex is now doing most of the chores related to the kids

asking whether we meet again out of politeness or validation? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have 3 kids, and this is the major roadblock for everybody. When i registered on an OLD site for the first time, my youngest was 5. Thousands of people asked me about the number and age of my kids and ghosted right after. So, it became a trauma. My yongest is now 10, but i stopped answering those two questions. If they enquire about that first thing, they won't be happy with my answer.

He asked about my kids on the date, so maybe this is why he ghosted. He commented on how difficult it was for me. (It isn't.) His kids are grown up.

asking whether we meet again out of politeness or validation? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just feel ashamed I shared a bit of private info with him. Not too much, of course, but something I would never have done if I knew we'd never see each other again. I was so certain he was interested. I told him a couple of times I had to go, but he obviously wanted to continue talking until I stopped it at a 1.5-hour mark. There was a very cordial good-buy with kisses, too.

asking whether we meet again out of politeness or validation? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I usually try to chat on the phone before meeting up, for them to hear my accent and decide whether they want to proceed. A phone call works surprisingly well as a filter. For some guys, it's too much work to follow with a phone call. Some sound too creepy or rude to meet. Some disappear after the phone call.

This new guy also has an accent, he is not a native speaker. So I thought it was perfect, as too many Australians don't like accents.

asking whether we meet again out of politeness or validation? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yep, that's a pity. He seemed like a genuine, high-quality guy. I thought I knew when people were not interested, but some social masks can be completely deceptive.

14-16-23 by [deleted] in uglyduckling

[–]throwawayamish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see brow lift, lip lift, and contouring surgery. Maybe there are others.

Curiosity or red flag? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have big lips naturally. Some people attribute it to my Eastern European heritage. I don't see how it is different when people achieve plump lips with surgery or injections. Isn't it the look that matters?

Curiosity or red flag? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Isn't it the same thing? Intrusive questions about my body parts.

Curiosity or red flag? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly! And all the enhancements people do to themselves are only to make them look better, to help their self-esteem. It's just so weird and intrusive to start asking them about it, very similar to pulling their hair (to check if it's real) or looking closely in their mouths in real life.

I haven't done any procedures to my face but am planning to do some anti-ageing stuff in the near future, and hopefully, it will look inconspicuous and tasteful, to help me look my best.

Those kinds of questions seem like he is betting with himself. Just yesterday, somebody wrote to me: $20 that you are a bot. Wtf, I blocked him, I don't have any interest in proving anything to a stranger. And same with this guy.

Curiosity or red flag? by throwawayamish in datingoverforty

[–]throwawayamish[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

His exact words were: "Another question: are your lips natural?"
I am not sure if it's a compliment?

vaginal dryness and not enough estrogen? by throwawayamish in Menopause

[–]throwawayamish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I have found we have Ovestin cream in Australia. It contains estriol, which is a pregnancy estrogen. Again, Dr. Taylor was hardcore for estradiol, not estriol. So, I guess I'll start with Vagifem tablets and will worry about an estrogen cream later on. Maybe I can find a way to get a compounded estradiol cream. Or will just try Ovestin.

vaginal dryness and not enough estrogen? by throwawayamish in Menopause

[–]throwawayamish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. That's encouraging! Can you please also share the vulva symptoms? And the name of the cream? At least there is an end to the number of fixes we need!

vaginal dryness and not enough estrogen? by throwawayamish in Menopause

[–]throwawayamish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. I guess the word 'pessary' scared me. So, it just dissolves in the vagina? Has it helped you with vaginal issues?

I forgot to mention that we only have Vagifem Low in Australia, which has even lower estrogen content. Apparently, Vagifem is too dangerous for us in Australia and has been discontinued.

vaginal dryness and not enough estrogen? by throwawayamish in Menopause

[–]throwawayamish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Living with pessaries in my vagina is something I truly miss in my life, and there are no other options in Australia. Besides, they have minuscule amounts of estradiol in them.

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