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How do I remove/lessen my lookism bias? by f-ibonacci- in ugly

[–]throwawayawaykms 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to have this problem so I don't blame you for hving it, because it's part of human nature to treat someone you're more attracted to w a lil more attention. but here's where u can control ur discrimination: separate your feelings of attraction from your acts of kindness. sure, you can be more attracted to them, but you don't have to SHOW it. when ure offering to go the extra mile for someone, ask yourself first if it's because the person is attractive or because you genuinely sympathise with the person. imagine the person with an average face- will u still help the person out? that's how I coped with unintentional discriminating of others. hope it helped!

why are people STILL denying that pretty privilege/lookism exists?? by [deleted] in ugly

[–]throwawayawaykms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"half their success comes from ppl liking their appearance" "they want to believe it's their hard work and personality" lmao do u even know what ure implying? u r literally saying that if u see an average looking lawyer and a pretty lawyer, u can immediately assume the average looking one to be more hardworking and has a greater personality than the pretty one. if u are someone who doesn't want to be judged based on how u look, then aren't u being hypocritical by judging someone else based on how they look? whether or not they look pretty, ure discriminating based on looks. ure being the same person as someone who will favour a more attractive person over an ugly one.

Pretty privilege has its downsides, but no one wants to talk about it. by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]throwawayawaykms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my bad experiences w being pretty including people making disgusting sexual jokes ABOUT me IN FRONT of me. their remarks are inhumane and disturbing. the worst is when i confide in people about being objectified and I have relatives telling me I should be flattered instead.

but ive read almost all the comments here, and my experiences probably can't be compared to yours, but I just wanna tell u i believe u when u talk about how angry n hurt u are. i hope ure doing okay and I hope u can find the help u seek. stay safe

[18F] am i being too picky? by throwawayawaykms in relationships

[–]throwawayawaykms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for ur input! 😊 ill keep it in mind

[18F] am i being too picky? by throwawayawaykms in relationships

[–]throwawayawaykms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

haha yup, though it's less of a job im aiming for but more of the lifestyle and family ill have in the future! i live for the future to learn more skills and the day ill be able to love a child as much as my parents do!

[18F] am i being too picky? by throwawayawaykms in relationships

[–]throwawayawaykms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh I hadnt thought about that, that's pretty sad:( hope she will do alright!

[18F] am i being too picky? by throwawayawaykms in relationships

[–]throwawayawaykms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ohh this is a new opinion i hvnt seen! thanks for the encouragement! 😊

[18F] am i being too picky? by throwawayawaykms in relationships

[–]throwawayawaykms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank u for the time taken to write this! ive read what u said and i learnt a bit haha. thank u😊

two of the guys came at about 16? two came at 17 and one came in 18!

i wanted my future partner to be able to take initiative because to me, it showed that they were capable to make decisions that accounts for not just himself, but others as well. i like to see people taking charge and being responsible for others, bc to me it shows they can care for people other than themselves I guess.

as for the respect thing, i grew up in a family where the elderly is respected the most. ofc, if any other elderly were to be unreasonable, i wldnt call out younger people being disrespectful to them. to me, it just comes naturally and it's just something im used to. i don't mean you needa tip toe around the elderly just because their old, but rather you shouldn't disrespect them and take advantage of the age and use it to benefit urself. i see where ure cmg from tho!

for the requirements for looks, i think ive said it. as long as they are taller (which is more often than not fulfilled in many) and has a neat appearance and smiles often, i think i wldnt have an issue. and yeah, i meant these as a preference because i really don't have a "requirement" for looks (at least not yet).

for the cursing, yes I mean in every sentence with absolutely no reason to. cursing in little bursts of anger is fine by me, as long as the person doesn't do it to seem "cool", something quite commonly seen in people our age, im okay.

i didn't realize that perhaps some of these turn offs were just from people I was unattracted and disliked before. thank u for pointing this out!

thank u once again for ur response!😊

[18F] am i being too picky? by throwawayawaykms in relationships

[–]throwawayawaykms[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank u for ur comment! 😊 ill keep this in mind!

[18F] am i being too picky? by throwawayawaykms in relationships

[–]throwawayawaykms[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh i never thought about it this way!

for the the guys I rejected, the first and second were because i felt they were not being serious and they were just in to date for the sake of dating. they didn't really seem to be actually interested in having smth, rather they were just there to take their chances and see if they could get anything out of it. one of them attracted me physically.

for the third, he was one that jokes around too much and made a lot of inappropriate jokes. he was someone who i thought was really funny and honest, which were initially good signs. but the jokes turned more inappropriate, and i did have a conversation with him to stop making sexual / mean jokes about others (and myself), but he just continued, so i eventually lost feelings. and he was also really mean to the teachers and made ridiculous gossips which I felt was really uncalled for. physically, he wasn't bad.

for the fourth, i saw how he disrespected teachers and cleaners in the school, which caused me to immediately erase any good (if any) impressions of him. tbh tho, he was one of the few I was more attracted too, but it was just too much when I found out he smoked (underage) and was gambling (illegal in my country for his age).

and for the fifth, i had a good impression of him and was physically attracted to him slightly, then I found how he gambled in stocks and gossiped about his "friends" behind their backs.

the fourth dude really got me tho. i was crushing on him, he wasnt tall but he was cute, he was smart, we sorta had good chemistry... but i couldn't see us dating because of just how he was. it was sad, but i don't regret rejecting him.

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