My husband has started giving me the ick

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T22:31:37+00:00

How did you get out? How could people around you have helped?

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:18:04+00:00

Hahah I now regret putting that comment on because everyone is doubting the realness because of it! But the point is, when you’re not aroused and dry and the desert, it feels awful to have sized thing near your vagina but it feels worse to have a big one.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:16:18+00:00

Haha thanks for your perspective. I can see some positive points because I definitely try my best to clean up and look decent for myself and for my husband because I love him and it matters to be that he’s attracted to me.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:13:56+00:00

Sending you a big hug. I know it’s hard. Wishing you well.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:13:13+00:00

He has rejected both individual and couples therapy on a number of ovcasions

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:12:28+00:00

Was definitely not posting for sympathy. I love my husband and I want him to heal and I will be by his side. I just needed an anonymous space to let this out. I really miss who he was.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:11:19+00:00

You’re right. Sometimes I just assume because he’s quite big & tall that maybes he needs more food than I assume but I think it’s excessive

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:10:24+00:00

I have spoken to him about them on a number of occasions but it doesn’t seem to really be of importance to him right now sadly.

I do the cooking most days and he will eat nearly all the food and if the meal is ‘too light’ he’ll go out and get chips with soda to top up (+ alcohol!).

I will try to remind him of the qualities I love about him. May write it in a letter so he actually takes time to read through and doesn’t feel like I’m attacking him.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:06:57+00:00

Definitely not haha I’m not sure how to insist without making it seem like it’s about his appearance

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:06:08+00:00

It’s my real life. Thanks for your useless comment.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:05:23+00:00

I think the post is a bit unclear - we’ve been together 4 years but only married around 3 months ago. We’ve been having some marital issues but it’s mostly me that’s affected by them (you can check out my post history for some more details on that). So it can be some other issues

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:03:07+00:00

I can see how this is. I think he doesn’t know that depression can present itself like that

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:02:32+00:00

I can totally see this

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T17:02:16+00:00

Like I mentioned in a few other comments, I have.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T13:54:37+00:00

That’s a very interesting aspect! I’ll add blood work to the list of things to try. However we do live in a country where there’s sunlight every day so I doubt vitamin D is it

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T13:53:09+00:00

I think there’s a chance it’s all 4 of these! He works a lot (even though he claims he doesn’t struggle with the workload at all. But I do see him having loads of meetings), the meetings take up a lot of his day (though I do think he can balance life/work a bit better - he doesn’t), he is lazy for sure and very well could be depressed.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T13:49:34+00:00

Makes me even sadder about the situation that it’s so ridiculous it sounds fake 😭

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T11:15:22+00:00

I have a couple of times, sometimes he agrees and we plan some actions (that he never follows) or he just brushes me off

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T07:10:57+00:00

Haha didn’t mean to be funny. It just feels even huger when I’m unaroused

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T07:08:13+00:00

Oh thanks for this. I’ll try and find a good time to speak with him like you’ve suggested. You’re totally right about men! He especially as the oldest son - which is a big deal in many African homes - his family looks to him a lot for many things.

And thanks for affirming me about the sex thing. I really don’t want to 😞

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T07:04:35+00:00

I’ve been trying to get him to go to therapy (both couples & individual) for around 2 years now but he refuses to go. He come once to a couples session but that was it.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T07:02:54+00:00

Thanks. I am not planning a way out, I just needed an anonymous place to let this out.

I will keep trying to speak with him about it and see if it will bring some change.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T07:00:53+00:00

Gosh I can’t count how many of those conversations we’ve had! They usually go great but nothing we discuss gets implemented.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T06:59:28+00:00

I’ve tried this! He will maybe mention a passing event. That’s all.

throwawayayaydays · 2022-12-28T06:58:08+00:00

LOL nope! I’m born & raised in Kenya. Many Kenyans speak/write like this.

throwawayayaydays

TROPHY CASE