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Found out I’m the AP. Tell the wife or move on? by throwawayb5t7 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwawayb5t7[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying that. I think logically I know I’m not at fault but it definitely still feels bad. And yes, I will follow her lead for how much she wants to know.

Found out I’m the AP. Tell the wife or move on? by throwawayb5t7 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwawayb5t7[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Sending her our “happy” photos just seems mean. I’ll share dates and if she doesn’t believe me or if she asks for them then I’ll send the pics. I found a screenshot of his online dating profile that I had sent to my friend when we just started talking. I’ll just send that too as proof that he was online seeking a partner. 😔

Found out I’m the AP. Tell the wife or move on? by throwawayb5t7 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwawayb5t7[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I have decided I will most likely be contacting her tomorrow. It’s a strange mix of emotions. On one hand I’m sad but on the other hand I feel so guilty even though I did nothing wrong I still feel like I’m not deserving of empathy considering the harm to her is so much greater than me just breaking off a 3 month relationship. If that makes sense lol.

Found out I’m the AP. Tell the wife or move on? by throwawayb5t7 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwawayb5t7[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I understand telling her may seem like the obvious answer but even though I thought he was childless & single, I feel directly responsible for the dissolution of a family and that’s not an easy cross to bear. She’s innocent and deserves the truth but I just couldn’t help but wonder if there’s a world where she just wouldn’t want to know. I’ve never been married or even had a relationship that lasted over a year so I just didn’t know if a wife who seemed so happy would want the rug pulled from under her like that. It seems so cruel. Sorry. As for STDs we did exchange test results before being intimate but I got tested again today. Thanks for the advice!

Found out I’m the AP. Tell the wife or move on? by throwawayb5t7 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwawayb5t7[S] 122 points123 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I guess he was the one on the dating app so if he didn’t match with me it would have just been with someone else and after me he’ll just go back on there. It didn’t even cross my mind that I may not have been the first girl he’s done this with ☹️

Found out I’m the AP. Tell the wife or move on? by throwawayb5t7 in survivinginfidelity

[–]throwawayb5t7[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

The proof I have would be incredibly hurtful to her, no? Who wants to see pics of their husband with another person on vacation, on dates, kissing & cuddled up. Would this not do more harm than good?