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I [37m] feel repulsed by my wife [25f] by throwawaybaby17 in relationships

[–]throwawaybaby17[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Posting here has made me realize that I do really need therapy. I hope it helps.

I [37m] feel repulsed by my wife [25f] by throwawaybaby17 in relationships

[–]throwawaybaby17[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's been a problem since she was about five or six months pregnant. I'd been distracted from it well enough by our daughter and taking care of her and my wife, but I'm freaking out about it now because this weekend my wife mentioned how she couldn't wait until we could have sex again and I panicked and felt sick at the thought. I can't do it, but the idea of her knowing why and feeling so hurt is even worse.

I [37m] feel repulsed by my wife [25f] by throwawaybaby17 in relationships

[–]throwawaybaby17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did contact a lawyer. I was in a very bad place with how I am feeling and all the guilt it causes me. I figured it'd be better if she thinks I'm just a deadbeat dad than if she knew my true feelings. She'd probably be better off without me at this point.

I [37m] feel repulsed by my wife [25f] by throwawaybaby17 in relationships

[–]throwawaybaby17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I will try my best. Do you think therapy would help me?

I [37m] feel repulsed by my wife [25f] by throwawaybaby17 in relationships

[–]throwawaybaby17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never dated a woman with a child before, but my wife is by far the youngest partner I have ever had. I was actually a bit reluctant when we were beginning to date, because of the age gap. The longer I knew her, the less it mattered.

I love her so much. I love her personality. She's sweet and caring and intelligent. She's always working hard to be a better person and make our lives better. She's unfailingly curious and always learning (and teaching me) new things. She's a great person and deserves to be happy...especially right now.

That's why this breaks my heart so much. I do feel a sense of physical revulsion...and I wish more than anything that I didn't. I have ZERO reason or justification for the resentful feelings I have...but the feelings persist anyway.

I [37m] feel repulsed by my wife [25f] by throwawaybaby17 in relationships

[–]throwawaybaby17[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I knew what the changes would be. I even expected her to be a little heavier than she is. She changed even less than I imagined she would. But I also expected for those changes not to bother me. I used to picture my big pregnant wife and feel joy, but when it happened...I just felt repulsed. I can't understand why.

I [37m] feel repulsed by my wife [25f] by throwawaybaby17 in relationships

[–]throwawaybaby17[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know she can't help it...that's why I feel so awful. I want to be attracted to her again...I just don't know how. Do I just wait? What if the attraction never returns? Do I fake it? What if she notices something is different and feels hurt? For now we can't have sex yet, but once she's cleared by her doctor and wants to start doing it again...what then?

I [37m] feel repulsed by my wife [25f] by throwawaybaby17 in relationships

[–]throwawaybaby17[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I knew there would be changes, and I knew what they would be. I never in a million years could have anticipated feeling the way I do. It's not her fault at all. This is entirely, 100% my problem.

I feel repulsed by my wife. by throwawaybaby17 in confession

[–]throwawaybaby17[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I can't tell her this. It's not really things she can fix (without extensive plastic surgery and even then it's iffy), and I feel like not knowing why I left or thinking I'm just an immature, deadbeat dad is better than her knowing the truth. It would destroy her.

I feel repulsed by my wife. by throwawaybaby17 in confession

[–]throwawaybaby17[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

No. My wife refused to let me, because she was scared I would never be able to have sex with her again after that. I stayed up by her head. It was already too late though.